The Onion Newswire

The Onion Newswire

Comprehensive Real-Time News Feed for The Onion.

Results 1 - 20 of 104 in The Onion

  1. BWW Interview: Director Kevin Chesley Discusses THE 39 STEPS at Actors Co-opRead the original story w/Photo

    14 hrs ago | BroadwayWorld.com

    ... 39 Steps. He was also a director for The Hampstead Players Theater Company. A screenwriter, Kevin has written for The Onion, National Lampoon, and MTV's "The Hard Times of RJ Berger," as well as screenplays for Warner Brothers , Paramount, Bad ...

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  2. BlackPearl Resources Inc. (PXX) Director Purchases C$71,400.00 in StockRead the original story w/Photo

    Thursday Aug 24 | IntersportsWire

    BlackPearl Resources Inc. Director John Hunter Craig acquired 70,000 shares of the firm's stock in a transaction that occurred on Friday, August 18th. The stock was acquired at an average cost of C$1.02 per share, with a total value of C$71,400.00.

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  3. Op-Ed Contributor: President Obama, Where Are You?Read the original story w/Photo

    Wednesday Aug 23 | The New York Times

    ... a serious political statement disavowing white supremacists. Somehow this is happening in The New York Times, not The Onion. All of which gives me the hopeful audacity to beg you once more unto the breach, to help unpack this madness. You have held ...

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  4. ESPN's 'sensitivity' move shows need for stupidity trainingRead the original story w/Photo

    Wednesday Aug 23 | Chicago Tribune

    ... General Robert E. Lee, who has been dead for 147 years. Like most of you, I thought this was a story ripped from The Onion. But it's true. Lee is a common name, among Southerners and Asians. I don't know what kind of broadcaster Gen. Lee may have ...

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  5. "I would get up early and jog in the morning, but I don't ...Read the original story

    Aug 20, 2017 | The Big Apple

    ... to snatch victims or dump bodies, and are often out first thing in the morning when everyone else is sleeping in. The Onion (satirical website) February 12, 2007 Nation's Joggers Sick Of Finding Dead Bodies CHICAGO-Citing the sobering statistic that ...

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  6. Trumpster Complains About All Of The 'Token Blacks In The Democratic Party'Read the original story w/Photo

    Aug 20, 2017 | Crooks and Liars

    Fox has officially turned themselves into an unfunny version of The Onion with this one. Trump's former "diversity outreach" chair, Brunell Donald-Kyei, took some time out from screaming over other black people on CNN to make an appearance on this Saturday's Fox & Friends , and to defend Trump's remarks following the bloody white supremacist rally in Charlottesville.

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  7. Steve Bannon may be out, but the - alt-right' says their movement will continueRead the original story w/Photo

    Aug 18, 2017 | The Washington Post

    ... worried liberals as much as Bannon. They shared photos of the strategist looking particularly unkempt. The Onion portrayed Bannon as a ghoulish fairy tale villain, with a headline announcing that he had burst "into millions of spores" upon his ...

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  8. John Larry Festival Purchases 42,500 Shares of BlackPearl Resources Inc. (PXX) StockRead the original story w/Photo

    Aug 13, 2017 | IntersportsWire

    BlackPearl Resources Inc. Director John Larry Festival acquired 42,500 shares of BlackPearl Resources stock in a transaction dated Friday, July 14th. The shares were purchased at an average price of C$0.95 per share, for a total transaction of C$40,375.00.

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  9. Insider Buying: BlackPearl Resources Inc. (PXX) Director Purchases 78,000 Shares of StockRead the original story w/Photo

    Aug 11, 2017 | IntersportsWire

    BlackPearl Resources Inc. Director John Larry Festival purchased 78,000 shares of the company's stock in a transaction on Wednesday, July 12th. The stock was bought at an average price of C$0.94 per share, for a total transaction of C$73,320.00.

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  10. Tristin Hopper: CBC Comedy is the worst crime against humour this country has ever committedRead the original story w/Photo

    Aug 10, 2017 | National Post

    ... Canadian politics. The satirical news format, of course, was popularized by the Chicago-based weekly publication The Onion, which has inspired imitators around the world. A 2008 radio profile of the publication noted that writers start with 600 ...

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  11. BlackPearl Announces Second Quarter 2017 Financial and Operating ResultsRead the original story w/Photo

    Aug 9, 2017 | Market Wire

    ... for the expansion is mid-2018, unchanged from our original target completion date. We completed the funding for the Onion Lake expansion project with the successful closing of a $75 million term debt financing in June. In addition, we maintained our ...

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  12. BlackPearl Resources Inc. (TSE:PXX) Scheduled to Post Earnings on WednesdayRead the original story w/Photo

    Aug 7, 2017 | Daily Political

    BlackPearl Resources Inc. is scheduled to post its quarterly earnings results after the market closes on Wednesday, August 9th. BlackPearl Resources Inc. opened at 1.01 on Monday.

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  13. BlackPearl Resources Inc. (PXX) Director John Larry Festival Acquires 42,500 SharesRead the original story w/Photo

    Aug 6, 2017 | IntersportsWire

    BlackPearl Resources Inc. Director John Larry Festival purchased 42,500 shares of BlackPearl Resources stock in a transaction dated Friday, July 14th. The shares were purchased at an average price of C$0.95 per share, with a total value of C$40,375.00.

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  14. BlackPearl Resources Inc. (PXX) Director Purchases C$73,320.00 in StockRead the original story w/Photo

    Aug 4, 2017 | IntersportsWire

    BlackPearl Resources Inc. Director John Larry Festival bought 78,000 shares of the company's stock in a transaction on Wednesday, July 12th. The stock was bought at an average cost of C$0.94 per share, with a total value of C$73,320.00.

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  15. Updated Share Capital and Voting Rights for BlackPearlRead the original story w/Photo

    Jul 31, 2017 | Market Wire

    BlackPearl Resources Inc. reports the following, in accordance with the Swedish Financial Instruments Trading Act: As a result of the exercise of stock options, as at July 31, 2017, the number of issued and outstanding shares of the Company is 336,267,235 common shares with voting rights. The information in this release is subject to the disclosure requirements of BlackPearl Resources Inc. under the Swedish Financial Instruments Trading Act.

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  16. BlackPearl Resources Inc. (PXX) Director John Larry Festival Buys 42,500 SharesRead the original story w/Photo

    Jul 29, 2017 | IntersportsWire

    BlackPearl Resources Inc. Director John Larry Festival bought 42,500 shares of the business's stock in a transaction that occurred on Friday, July 14th. The shares were acquired at an average price of C$0.95 per share, for a total transaction of C$40,375.00.

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  17. BlackPearl Resources Inc. (PXX) Director John Larry Festival Buys 78,000 Shares of StockRead the original story w/Photo

    Jul 27, 2017 | IntersportsWire

    BlackPearl Resources Inc. Director John Larry Festival acquired 78,000 shares of the stock in a transaction dated Wednesday, July 12th. The shares were purchased at an average cost of C$0.94 per share, with a total value of C$73,320.00.

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  18. The Onion takes aim at Rays, and 10 other times they made fun of Tampa BayRead the original story w/Photo

    Jul 26, 2017 | Home Page tampabay.com

    Satirical news site and sarcastically self-proclaimed "America's finest news source" The Onion made the Tampa Bay Rays the butt of the joke this week by posting an article titled "Area Stingray Dreaming Of Making It To Tropicana Field Touch Tank." If you're not familiar with The Onion , which was fake news back when "fake news" was fun and not bad, the fact that they quote the stingray as saying "It'd be such a thrill to finally rub my flaps along the tank wall as I circle around waiting for my meal" tells you what you need to know.

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  19. Arby's in the US sent sandwiches and a puppy to its biggest trollRead the original story w/Photo

    Jul 19, 2017 | South China Morning Post

    ... He sent the video from his Nihilist Arby's Gmail account to David Anthony, the music editor at The AV Club, The Onion's nonsatirical site. (Kelly now works for The Onion's ad team, Onion Labs.) Anthony immediately recognised Kelly in the video and ...

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  20. Arby's sent sandwiches and a puppy to its biggest troll, and...Read the original story w/Photo

    Jul 19, 2017 | News Times

    ... . He sent the video from his [email protected] account to David Anthony, the music editor at the AV Club, The Onion's nonsatirical site. (Kelly now works for The Onion's ad team, Onion Labs.) Anthony immediately recognized Kelly in the video ...

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