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Imodium Mega Thread, Where r u?

Hi all, Vans back. I have been in So Cal for a month staying with my old sick Dad and visiting with my sister who has been in a skilled nursing facility after a month long hospital stay. Both are doing better so I am back home now. I hope everyone here is well...both veterans and newbies. Just wanted to pop in to say hi. I will work on catching up on posts over the next couple if days.  (Oct 23, 2013 | post #2871)

Imodium Mega Thread, Where r u?

Sorry, not posting recently. Had to take another 911 trip to So Cal. My sister is much better but my dad is now not doing well. Thanks for thinking of me. Lots of stress but staying strong.  (Oct 8, 2013 | post #2771)

Imodium Mega Thread, Where r u?

All this talk recently about being in relationships that have gone bad has made me think and wonder why it is I (we) stay in them? Kids is an obvious reason and definitely one of mine but like Zoe, my only child is a young adult now so I am not sure I can use that reason any longer. Why am I here? With him? Is there something deep down in me that thinks I don't deserve better, to be happy? Maybe it's not wanting to face all the stress of ending a 20 year relationship? Of looking likevthe "bad guy" for initiating the end even though I know he is just as unhappy as I am? Something I definitely need to consider.  (Sep 16, 2013 | post #2563)

Imodium Mega Thread, Where r u?

Welcome back! Falling off the wagon is just part of the process of sobriety. It has happened to all of us on this journey. Don't beat yourself up over it...consider it as something to learn from and move forward. From what I have seen it's difficult to reinvent a healthy and clean relationship from one that revolves around drugs. Do you have a plan? Will you be using imodium? It's horrible facing a relationship that's failing, debt that seems unfixable and all the other ways that drugs create chaos in our lives but see this as a chance to take back your life. One of the things that has helped me on my journey is recognizing that I have little or no control over my addiction. Controlling addiction is like trying to control the weather. I cant change the fact that it is raining outside right now but what I can do is make sure to build a shelter that I can use to protect myself from rain or any other bad weather. Addiction for me is like that. ..it is hard for me to say no to drugs but I am working on building a safety zone around me that protects me from the temptations...this website being a big part of that safety net for me. So as you face your addiction think about what you need to do to start building a foundation to keep you safe...perhaps getting away from your relationship? Definitely coming here for support. I will be here as will every one else to help.  (Sep 16, 2013 | post #2562)

Imodium Mega Thread, Where r u?

ST, I know how hard it is to feel good about yourself when it feels like you have bottomed out both personally and professionally. For as strong, and as smart as you are and all the kindness you give to others here you are far from not deserving of love and affection. I hope this new start is a fresh start for you. As Taz so eloquently stated in his last post, you really need to love yourself before you can recognize the fact that you are worthy of the love from others. I am proud to consider someone like you as a friend as anyone would be. I hope more sooner than later you will recognize all your strengths and will be able to walk away from those around you who don't bother or take the time to do the same.  (Sep 16, 2013 | post #2561)

Imodium Mega Thread, Where r u?

Well stated Taz, I couldn't agree more with everything you've said in this post.  (Sep 16, 2013 | post #2560)

Imodium Mega Thread, Where r u?

Yeast infection...that's a good one. The first time I used that on my husband he reacted like I told him I had syphilis or something so it became my go to excuse.  (Sep 14, 2013 | post #2547)

Imodium Mega Thread, Where r u?

I agree ST, I think many if us continue using to help forget about these relationships we are in. I tried posting earlier but not sure it took that the two times in the last 20 years that I have had a significant period of being drug free I sought out and found the affection of someone other than my hubby of almost 20 years. I am sorry you are having to deal with a relationship that sounds as if it's headed south. I do understand how having a child complicates the situation and especially if you have just one like I do. If she had siblings some how it seems like it may have been different. I don't know but it is horrible feeling stuck.  (Sep 14, 2013 | post #2546)

Imodium Mega Thread, Where r u?

Welcome and congrats KP! It's great hearing that the lope has worked for yet another and glad to hear that it worked for heroin detoxing. Many including myself have had questions regarding heroin wd and lope. We have all pestered Jordan with our questions so now we have someone else to bother ; 0) You bring up an important point in your post...the lope takes much longer to take effect than all or most other opiates. Also, it's half life is much longer so it stays working in your body for 8 - 12 hours rather than 4 - 6 hours. I wish you continued success and I hope that you become a frequent poster.  (Sep 14, 2013 | post #2545)

Imodium Mega Thread, Where r u?

It's really sad what's happened up there in Van BC. I was there about 30 years ago and it was so nice. Probably similar to my Vancouver down here, parts are still good but the bad areas are growing. I think these 2 I have been talking about feel like they can skate through this without any repercussions. They buy and sell heroin, shoplift and god only knows what else and they get away with it so in a way I think they feel untouchable. They no doubt are in for a surprise. Unfortunately it's those 2 little boys who will suffer the most. Thanks for the response.  (Sep 14, 2013 | post #2544)

Imodium Mega Thread, Where r u?

Having them show proof is a great idea if they were actually in rehab but 3 months and they are still dragging their feet and making excuses. They have it just the way they want it now. Their kids are safe and being well cared for while they have all day and night to use. They have been visiting the boys for a couple of hours every other day but they come in and eat and then just lay around. My friend voiced concerns (anger) to the social worker so now they have a parenting skills coach coming when they are visiting. My friend went over to where they've been living and it's just trashed. Needles all over the floor, blood all up and down the walls and ceiling. I am losing hope for them and worry about my friend. She just retired, bought a house in Arizona and hasn't been able to enjoy herself at all. Thanks for your help Jordan!  (Sep 14, 2013 | post #2541)

Imodium Mega Thread, Where r u?

At this point everything that comes out of their mouths are lies. They are almost 3 months into this which means only 9 months left to do everything required or they lose those little boys and neither grandma thinks adopting them would be good since they both would be in their 70 & 80's when those boys are in high school. Its a real mess. Thanks for confirming what I thought to be bs. Hope you have an uneventful night at work.  (Sep 14, 2013 | post #2539)

Imodium Mega Thread, Where r u?

Quick question for you guys..I am again working with my friend who's daughter and son in law are heroin addicts andvin jeopardy of losing their 2 boys. They have been told they need to go to outpatient treatment (big mistake I think they need inpatient) and according to them the place they have chosen you choose "classes " to attend whuch they have nit not committed to doing becausevit conflicts with the visiting schedule for seeing their kids. My question to you all is have you ever heard of outpatient rehab where you can choose classes. My program was all done with one group, 4 days a week for 3 or 4 hours each day. I think its all bs and that they are stalling. The both went to detox and neither made it even 24 hours but now they claim to have detoxed at home in 3 days and are feeling fine...I call totsl bs on that. Anyhow, for those that know about outpatient rehab does this "class" thing seem reasonable? Thanks!  (Sep 14, 2013 | post #2529)

Imodium Mega Thread, Where r u?

You guys are going to scare Star and send her running from the alter tomorrow. Sounds like something we all share, a certain level of dissatisfaction with our significant other. For me when I was actively using I just ignored the fact that I was unhappy with my marriage but the 2 times in the last 20 years that I have been clean I indulged in the affections of another. The first time, years ago, I became so obsessive about this other person that it was almost like they were taking the place of the drugs. Life is too short to be unhappy with the person you are with. We all deserve to love and be loved. I bet as some of you get more clean time that you leave these unhappy relationships. Star..I hope your day tomorrow is everything and more then you imagine it. I am sorry that your mom won't be there but know that all your cyber friends will be there in spirit.  (Sep 13, 2013 | post #2516)

Imodium Mega Thread, Where r u?

Just getting caught up on how everyone is doing or trying to at least. I upgraded my phone and for some reason it keeps locking up here on this thread...not on any other site. Has Mel been heard from? I will try and send her a PM. I hope she is ok. Did someone ssy that yesterday was the dsy she found more out about her lab tests? Welcome Bee...I hope you find this a safe and helpful place. We all have different stories but the same goal. ..getting control of our lives back. Some of us are just starting their journey and others have more clean time so no matter where you are on your road to recovery there is always people here to support you. Our new friend whose name now escapes me...today is Friday, are you ready? I am rooting for you as are many here. Coming here to read and post sure did help me when I first started. So post often, we are here to help you through this my friend. Jordan, sorry to hear about the crud that has infected your home. I have friends here will small children that are going through the same thing. I hope everyone starts feeling better soon! Zoe, Nat, Taz, Panda, Foxy, ST...hope you guys are doing well. Happy Friday the 13th! Mel, if you check in, please know that you are not alone. You have many people here thinking positive thoughts and praying that you are okay. Please let us know that you are!  (Sep 13, 2013 | post #2500)