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Jan 27, 2009

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I give up

I think I'm stuck with this red, nasty, bumpy face. I just saw my family doctor yesterday and he's referring to a dermatologist, but I have little hope. A couple of weeks ago my doc had me do a week's worth of prednisone at 50mg. It was amazing how my face cleared up. But then, at the end of the week, my eczema came back. In just a few days it was the worst it has ever been. I don't know what else to do. I don't want to go out anymore. I pray for reasons not to go to work. For the first time my affected area hurts. It's so sore. I want to just rip my face off. I'm depressed and now taking bupropion for that and anxiety management. I think the eczema is the manifestation of how fucked up my life is right now. I'm ready to throw in the towel. But I can't. I have a wife and 5 year-old daughter that depend on me to bring home the bacon. Even though I feel like I want to retreat, I can't. I'm a slave to everyone. Even when I'm at work I can't concentrate. So you see, eczema is not the worst of my problems. The problem is that I can no longer hide my problems from the outside world. All you have to do now is look at me and you see that the universe is kicking my ass. Fuck it.  (Jan 27, 2009 | post #1)