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Jun 10, 2009

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Frankfort, IN

Domestic Violence

I have been married only 3 years to a man that in the beginning made me feel so wonderful, beautiful, sexy and like I was perfect to him. Emotional abuse started quickly after marriage and then a couple of times in the past year there has been physical abuse. This last time just took the cake though. I tried to call 911 and he broke my phone so I could not call. He then called and the police came out. They did not allow me to say anything, show them the marks from his abuse and even made me remove some of my stuff from my truck. I went to the hospital for a back injury but declined to press charges that night because the Dr. told me that the same officers that were at the house would be the ones to come to the hospital. I went to the prosecutors office two days later to press charges of battery. They took pictures of the bruises and my statement. A protection order was served a week later which included a court date. The order states that the police is to accompany me to the residence to get my belongings. I have gotten NO cooperation from the police. I had to demand that they obey the order and escort me to get some of my belongings. After my husband opened the shed and set a few boxes of my stuff out on the ground the officer was inside of the shed talking about all the tools and the things that my husband built. Next thing I know the officer and my husband were practically walking arm in arm to the front of the house and up on the porch. I was left alone in the alley. My husband violated the no contact order and I called the police, as I was told to do so. They sent an officer out but he just blew me off. I have the violation in writing on Facebook. I am at my wits end and don't know what to do. I now know why a lot women do not report abuse. The Frankfort police department has inflicted more emotional abuse than any abuse I have ever received form any man.  (Dec 3, 2011 | post #1)

Frankfort, IN

nothing here

No Kidding... I have only lived here a couple years and I am finding it very hard to meet people. My husband and have been looking for new people to hang out with but its like it is deserted around here. We have been out to the Animal House a couple of times but it was dead. I signed on here just to see what was around and I am finding nothing. It seems like no one around here wants to socialize. What is wrong with this town?  (Jun 19, 2009 | post #3)

Health

Erectile Dysfunction

Alan I posted on here yesterday but it did not show up. I thank you very much for sharing with me. I have already tried a couple of your suggestions and plan on trying more. I very calmly told him that it hurts when he contacts his "friends " (females) and I feel very uncomfortable with the relationships that he maintains with them. He said that he would not contact them again. I suggested that he invite his "buddies " (males) over while I am at work. That he spent a lot of time setting up the garage for entertainment and he should use it instead of spending time chatting online with his "friends ". He also invited a "buddy" over that he used to work with and they had a great time playing pool and throwing darts while I was at work last night. I am also trying to modify my desire. This is not an easy one for me but I have asked him to help. Today I told him that I love feeling his arms around me and our naked bodies against one another, even if it is not sexual. It is one of my favorite things that make me feel close to him. I asked him if he would be willing to just spend 10 minuets each day just being naked and holding each other close where I can feel his warm skin against mine, whether it is laying on the bed, in the shower or even cuddling on the sofa with no phones, no TV, nothing but just us. He said that was just weird but he will do it just for me. I do hope that he follows through with this. I think that he may be surprised at how much it will be for him too. Once again thank you for your input. Take care and best regards.  (Jun 18, 2009 | post #9)

Health

Erectile Dysfunction

Thank you AlanE I think that my husband feels that he is lucky most of the time. He is very good to me. He is laid off and takes complete responsibility of the house and yard. He shows me off to all his friends (which are women) and his buddies (which are men) and tells them that I am his "whole world". Some times I feel that we are just room mates and that makes me sad. I so desire more from my relationship than just a room mate. I love him very much. I am the type of woman that enjoys pleasing my man just as much as being pleased by my man. I so much want to please him in every way that a wife can please her husband. Some times I feel like I am wasting my time trying though, especially knowing about his past and the fact that he desires to maintain his friendships with his past lovers who he now calls his best friends. I think this is a part of what makes me feel inadequate. I can not do for him what they did and that he considers them to be his best friends. He says that he has disassociated the sex life he had with these women in the past from the friendship that he has with them now. That the sex did not mean any thing to him then or now. I know that men and women are different and think about things very differently but is it that easy for a man to have sex with a woman and then be nothing more than friends with them? I think that my jealousy comes from me being a very sexual woman wanting to please my man in every way and not feeling like I can. I guess that I want to be able to trust that when he tells me that I do satisfy him completely that I do. My lack of knowledge or maybe experience on the subject of ED makes me not trust what he tells me. I am very curious about why he will, when talking with others, let on like we have this super fantastic love life. Is it possible that he really thinks of our love life as being super fantastic?  (Jun 16, 2009 | post #6)

Health

Erectile Dysfunction

I am 46 and I have never known anyone with ED until my husband. There are a lot of things that I just don't understand and I have so many questions. I forbid myself any sexual contact with men for over 10 years. I had four daughters to raise and had put them through one really bad stepfather and so I chose to deny myself relationships and romance until they were raised. After all my girls were up and gone I met a man that I fell for hard and fast, he is now my husband. He did not tell me at first that he suffered from ED. When we begin our sex life it was great... 2-3 times a week. Then after a month or so it went down to once a week. I am a very sexual woman and was anxious to resume this part of my life. I begin to question him about his lack of interest and this is when he told me about his ED. When he proposed marriage a couple of months later I said yes knowing that I could be content with our sex life at once a week. Once we were married sex decreased to once every 2-3 weeks. He said that his ED was caused from high cholesterol and he had not been taking his meds in quite a while. We got him back on his cholesterol medication. We also got samples of Lavitra but can not afford a prescription. We have only been married for nine months now and the penetrating sex has diminished (It has been four months since I last felt him inside me). He will make love to me, (i.e. orally or by manual stimulation) nearly any time I ask, however, he never allows me to make love to him. He can achieve an erection but can not maintain it. In the past several months he can only ejaculate by self stimulation once in a great while but can no longer achieve “the big O” through penetration. I have only been able to bring him to climax twice in the past. I have tried everything that I can think of to help him. He told me that no woman has ever dressed in sexy lingerie for him, so I bought several outfits. They did not even seem to faze him. When I ask him about it he simply replies, “Do they make you feel sexy?… If they do then that’s all I need to make me happy”. He talked about having sexy pictures of me so he could look at my beautiful body when ever he wanted to, so I took several provocative pictures of myself in the lingerie and in the nude putting them on a disk for him. He glanced at the disk only once and I know this because I hid the disk after he looked at it and he has never asked about it since. The only time I ever see him with even a semi-hard erection is after he gets completely wasted on alcohol and sleeps about 2-3 hours. When he wakes up he will let me give him oral sex but looses his soft erection after about 10-15 minuets. He claims that he completely enjoys this experience but I feel like I have completely failed. He has told me from day one that his greatest satisfaction is being able to bring me to satisfaction. He tells me that I am very sexy and desirable and that I satisfy him fully. He also says that he is happier now than he has ever been but I just don’t understand how or why. He is very, very good to me in every way but I don’t feel like much of a woman or lover. I have read many articles on ED and found that high cholesterol is a rare cause of ED. Many of these articles explain what ED is and what may cause it, but none of them explain the mans feelings, desires, wants or needs. I apologize for being so long winded but like I said in the beginning, this is my first experience with ED. Some of my questions are: Could his ED truly be caused from his cholesterol or is he simply burn out sexually? How can I possibly satisfy him when he won’t let me make love to him? Can his happiness be genuine just by satisfying me, or by just being married to me? Can he see me as being sexy and desirable even though it has no physical sexual affect on him? Can he be “Turned On” even though it doesn’t show physically?  (Jun 10, 2009 | post #1)