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Jul 8, 2008

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Orlando Sentinel

Ocoee cop accused of spanking women denies wrongdoing

What's wrong with a little spanking? I'd rather be spanked by a cop than given a ticket. I suggest that from now on, all minor crimes will be simply punished by a spanking.  (Jul 26, 2008 | post #15)

Orlando Sentinel

Judge has girl named Talula Does The Hula renamed

Teasing makes you stronger. Instead parents should teach their children to stand up to bullies and to not be pussies. My son, Diahreplosion, has to face a lot of ridicule. I teach him to punch anyone who ridicules him in the face. It has worked so far. He even urinated on one kid he punches afterwards, it was hilarious.  (Jul 26, 2008 | post #141)

Orlando Sentinel

Michael Savage explains comments that angered parents of ...

Michael Savage is a homosexual who hates gay people... How crazy is that?  (Jul 25, 2008 | post #75)

Orlando Sentinel

Many veterans don't need gun checks, senator says

This is ridiculous. Give guns to everyone who wants them. That way if a deranged man ever runs shootin' through a campus, there will always be some sane person armed and ready around to shoot him down.  (Jul 25, 2008 | post #9)

Orlando Sentinel

Milka Duno vs. Danica Patrick? Let's settle this one righ...

Competition is wrong. I vote for Jesus.  (Jul 24, 2008 | post #10)

Orlando Sentinel

Changes ahead for dollar menu

Sure does make all the pain go away. Good thing that I gave that up, with the help of Jebus!  (Jul 24, 2008 | post #122)

Orlando Sentinel

Judge has girl named Talula Does The Hula renamed

Are you coming on to me? I guess I could go for a blind date.  (Jul 24, 2008 | post #25)

Orlando Sentinel

Changes ahead for dollar menu

I guess I could start going to churches for those free meals. It does mean that I'll have to sit through an hour or so of pointless preaching beforehand though. I don't know if it's worth it. I might end up defecating on the priest in order to make him give me my grub.  (Jul 24, 2008 | post #71)

Orlando Sentinel

Stepmother jealous that husband kisses his daughter on th...

It's all good as long as there ain't too much tongue.  (Jul 24, 2008 | post #88)

Orlando Sentinel

Changes ahead for dollar menu

This is an OUTRAGE. This is more terrible than 9/11. Dollar menu changes? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SURVIVE?  (Jul 24, 2008 | post #44)

Orlando Sentinel

Judge has girl named Talula Does The Hula renamed

People should be allowed to name their children whatever damn names they want. My kids are going to be named "Asstower " and "Suxfurcash ". Imagine a world without Moon Unit Zappa.  (Jul 24, 2008 | post #7)

Orlando Sentinel

Trade between Magic and Nets for Dooling nearing completion

Dear people... This post illustrates why drugs are bad. They impair your language skills and pollute your mind with ridiculous ideas such as "Carlos Arroyo is good" or "Carlos Arroyo can beat the Dream Team", or even "Carlos Arroyo deserves to be a starter in the NBA". All in all kids, don't do drugs. Thank you, The Management with association to DARE and Public School anti-drug and anti-Arroyo programs world-wide.  (Jul 23, 2008 | post #110)

Orlando Sentinel

Trade between Magic and Nets for Dooling nearing completion

This is a next-to-genius trade. Otis managed to get a crucial trade exception for nothing. Dooling wasn't staying here anyhow, and pulling off this sign and trade is beautiful. This entire free agent period is making me regain my trust in Otis. A lot of wonderful signs. I really hope that he's going to use the exception to get a solid PF or even to ship Hedo out for a better player. How about Hedo, Bogans, and the exception for Tyrus Thomas and Kirk Heinrich? Hey... it could happen :). (and by the way... re-signing Arroyo would be the worst possible move on Otis' part... people don't go to Magic games because of Arroyo. Those who do aren't real fans to begin with.)  (Jul 22, 2008 | post #78)

Orlando Sentinel

Orlando Magic make a move for shooting guard Mikael Pietrus

The Magic are not guaranteed to rank higher than Boston and Detroit. They could also fall to Philly and Toronto, among others. Washington is another extremely strong team when it's healthy. I'll be extremely happy with a 4th place finish for the Magic.  (Jul 8, 2008 | post #106)