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Feb 29, 2008

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Chicago Tribune

Kyle Orton is a new man

After his 2005 season, Orton spent a well-chronicled amount of time drinking heavily. After his 2008 season, you will.  (Sep 5, 2008 | post #13)

Chicago Tribune

D'Antoni goes to Knicks without hearing Bulls' offer

Cheer up, everybody. Mike D'Antoni just spurned Chicago, sure...and now he actually has to make Eddy Curry RUN. The tar pit that is the Knicks organization did not magically turn to diamonds. If you thought he looked stressed out in Phoenix with All-Stars like Stoudemire and Nash, he's going to need an oxygen mask to deal with the likes of Zach Randolph and Starbury. It will take him less time to count his money in nickels than it will to field a winner in New York.  (May 11, 2008 | post #23)

Chicago Tribune

Fans flood field with batting practice balls

Hey Marty, how's the steady gig in the big media market working out for your kid? What? Oh. Sorry to hear that. Good to know it's not personal or anything.  (Apr 17, 2008 | post #28)

Chicago Tribune

Sox can steal spotlight in Cubs-crazy season -- Major Lea...

Keep holding up that attendance trophy, Mark. You and the rest of the tourists keep singing along and remembering Harry (dead 10 years and I think the booze has finally worn off) and having a swell time yelling "Right Field Sucks." This idea of showing up win or lose-how's that working out on the field?  (Mar 29, 2008 | post #7)

Chicago Tribune

Naperville-based company hires Dennis Hastert

Good news, III from Naperville! Your state and local police departments are more than willing to disband and let you take care of yourself. Care to post your home address so some other free enterprise enthusiasts can come help themselves? I spend a lot of time down by the lake, looking with envy at all the cops' yachts. After all, it's such an easy job. All that body armor is just for laughs, really.  (Mar 23, 2008 | post #29)

Chicago Tribune

New Trier student accused of hacking into school computer...

How do we know there was any knowledge involved? People use the word "hacker" whenever anything mischievous happens on a computer. What's an easier way to steal a car; use a slim jim and override the ignition computer, or wait until someone leaves one running outside of the post office? I could probably find out what your salary is if I went to your company's computer network and found a way to defeat all of the network security protocols, or I could wait until the boss' secretary goes to lunch and put the file in the unlocked cabinet, or even better, leaves a copy of it on her desk when she goes to lunch. One would take me years. The other, a couple hours.  (Mar 1, 2008 | post #11)

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