JON WINDY

Chicago Tribune

Sears to modify payments if appliance buyers lose their jobs

Great marketing plan. One tiny flaw. It assumes Sears will be around to enforce it. Don't hold your Whirlpool!  (Jun 29, 2009 | post #5)

Chicago Tribune

Microsoft says Vista PC buyers will get free Windows 7 upgrades...

This is the most cynical announcement in Microsoft's storied history. 'Windows 7' is obviously a fix for the impossibly inept Vista system. It must be made available cost-free, , indeed, automatically installed on every victim-computer infected with Vista. Do it now Mr. Gates; your adversary, attorney David Boies is still around!  (Jun 25, 2009 | post #3)

Chicago Tribune

Stocks finish choppy day of trading mixed; major indexes post 1...

Fifties song; "Don't Do It" Applies more than ever in today's GOPDEP2 economy. Do not, repeat NOT, jump back into the stock market. Here's why: Any recovery is a short-term ploy by market makers attempts to steal the few remnants of your investment money. The big guys- read Pension Funds, Insurance Companies and Investment Funds - lost trillions in the unregulated market debacle of the last eight years. They will sell their near-worthless holdings into any recovery, driving the stock market to new lows until, at day's end, all stocks will become Monopoly pawns. Government bailouts are throwing good money after bad- proved repeatedly in the Thirties. There is, quite simply, no safe investment in the U.S, today. Think offshore- it's your only hope.  (Jun 25, 2009 | post #6)

Chicago Tribune

Gov. Sanford disclosure deepens Republican turmoil

What is WITH these Carolina dudes? Why can't they find sexual fulfillment with their wives and sisters? Maybe they feel the urge for some strange Tango- takes two, y'know. Good 'ol boy Mark is probably toast with wife Jenny. Maybe he could hook up with Kate-plus-eight or California Octopussy; both of whom clearly need a governor on 'em!  (Jun 25, 2009 | post #196)

Chicago Tribune

Ryne Sandberg says Sammy Sosa doesn't belong in Hall of Fame

Much as I love ya, Ryno, I disagree. It was Sammy's body and Sammy's choice.  (Jun 24, 2009 | post #17)

Chicago Tribune

New batch of Nixon tapes released, slurs and all

Nixon's comments and his yes-men support typify GOP thinking then and now. Go out to DuPage County or River Forest and ask around; they still lionize the racist bigot. Why? Because he spoke their language.  (Jun 24, 2009 | post #36)

Chicago Tribune

Walgreen-liquor-WAG

Alcohol and tobacco sales bolster Walgreen's pharmacy income. It's a marketing thing.  (Jun 23, 2009 | post #9)

Chicago Tribune

U.S. may seek new rule for money market funds

Cool thinking, Boy Timmy. Worried about a panic-run on money funds? Float the NAV- you'll see instant massive withdrawals that will make Bernie Madoff look like a Warren Buffet. Folks who kept their nest eggs in these low-earnings funds were rewarded when the stock market hit the fan in 2008. Now you want to penalize them for their good sense? What is it with you kiddo- are you jealous because you lost your wad too? Man up- you're young enough to rebuild; us Geezers are not!  (Jun 19, 2009 | post #1)

Chicago Tribune

Texas billionaire R. Allen Stanford to appear in court Friday a...

Old and true adage: if you're gonna steal, STEAL BIG! He'll never see the inside of a cell. PS- "Stanford " is an alias; real name: "Bubba Bush!"  (Jun 19, 2009 | post #4)

Chicago Tribune

Whose relatives got clouted into U. of I.?

Sounds like that TV Quiz Show of yore where favored contestants were given answers in advance. Difference here is, U of I is taxpayer supported.  (Jun 19, 2009 | post #84)

Chicago Tribune

U. of I., still hiding

Ab Mikva is the right man for the job. He should have been named a Supreme thirty years ago. Maybe later.  (Jun 18, 2009 | post #21)

Chicago Tribune

Attorney reports getting a call from missing Chicago Sports Web...

"Webio" Is that anything like polio? Oreo? Mario? O-sole-mio? Or jew just make it up? (Shortest Chicago Sentence: "Jeet?Jew? " Trans. "Did you eat?" "Did you?"))  (Jun 18, 2009 | post #56)

Chicago Tribune

Obama says a TV network he won't name is 'entirely devoted to a...

Fox is not to be swatted; it must be penned. Face it sports fans- it's a rabid dingo network with an outback Abbo boss. GDay Meatey!  (Jun 17, 2009 | post #112)

Chicago Tribune

4th of July fireworks canceled in some towns, scaled back in ot...

Bring your own sparkler! Hey, don't laugh; Stengel's Yankees brought same to Comiskey the year Bill Veeck installed his exploding scoreboard. And the Yankos have always had class- witness what ARod did with the Palin kid in the seventh inning!  (Jun 17, 2009 | post #17)

Chicago Tribune

Profile: U. of C.'s Austan Goolsbee looks to infuse economic ad...

Goolsbee is witty, but the guy who wrote "Snowbound " is Whittier.  (Jun 16, 2009 | post #21)