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Nov 5, 2010

I be Benny Profile

Forums Owned

Recent Posts

test thread can you read this?

I can't read it either, but then again, I can't read.  (Nov 11, 2013 | post #5)

name the grassesname the trolls

Ask the Three Billy Goats Gruff. They know a lot about grass and trolls. You wouldn't have to grease their hoof much, either. A bale of hay should do it.  (Nov 8, 2013 | post #85)

Anyone Want Good Hash On Cod

I likes salt and vinegar on my COD.  (Oct 20, 2013 | post #141)

ritalin required

Someone just bought me a Phil Collins album and I be needing some ritalin, so that I can appreciate it properly.  (Oct 17, 2013 | post #7)

Feedback for Gunga

I know Gunga’s surname. It’s, ‘Din’.  (Sep 10, 2013 | post #285)

Feedback for Gunga

Otherwise, it could have been a close shave.  (Sep 3, 2013 | post #245)

Feedback for Gunga

I was once attacked by a drunken Irishman with a razor. Fortunately, it wasn’t switched on.  (Sep 2, 2013 | post #148)

Feedback for Gunga

I was in a bar fight once. Some guy threw a load of Onax at me. (Not laughing at you Gunga. Violence isn’t funny.)  (Sep 2, 2013 | post #125)

Proper Shite Chat Up Lines

Phil Lynott of Thin Lizzy used to say, “You’re a very pretty girl. Have you got a bit of Irish in you?” Then, if they said, “No.”, he’d say, “Would you like a bit?”  (Aug 31, 2013 | post #56)

Counterfeit Money

Q. What do you get if you cross the Sex Pistols with the Wurzels? A. Never Mind the Bullocks.  (Jun 8, 2013 | post #26)

Counterfeit Money

Benny’s Restaurant Etiquette Tips: If you are in a restaurant and you start your meal with a sorbet, always ask for strawberry sauce. If you have soup as a starter, always ask for a straw. (Don’t forget to make a slurping sound when you reach the bottom of the bowl.) Etiquette Quiz: If you are in a restaurant and you sneeze and the snot lands on somebody else’s plate’ do you: A. Act like nothing has happened and deny all knowledge of the incident? B. Apologise profusely and create a scene? C. Reach over to their plate and say “Excuse me, that’s mine (gloop, gloop).”?  (May 11, 2013 | post #25)

Counterfeit Money

Cheap etizolam available. Why pay top prices for blistered, boxed etizolam, when you can have my badly pressed fake rubbish for half the price? (Guaranteed to contain absolutely no active ingredients whatsoever.)  (Apr 29, 2013 | post #24)

any1 know any loan sharks?

Great Whites are known to be solitary.  (Apr 5, 2013 | post #22)

Counterfeit Money

I'm not mad. I'm just special.  (Mar 15, 2013 | post #14)

Counterfeit Money

You remind me of an injection. Just a little prick (without the balls to sign in).  (Mar 15, 2013 | post #12)

Q & A with I be Benny


I do be.

I Belong To:

School of Hard Knocks & University of Life

When I'm Not on Topix:

My life harms me and is a matter of indifference to everybody else.

Read My Forum Posts Because:

Inexplicably, some people think they are funny.

I'm Listening To:

Body Count - Violent Demise

Read This Book:

How to Solve It - G Polya

Favorite Things:

Thinking; Problem solving; Chess; Joking; Axe murdering.

On My Mind:


I Believe In:

Monism/Pantheism/Mysticism | Cosmic Consciousness