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Sep 5, 2008

I Am Fester Profile

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Ukiah, CA

Mendocino County supervisor, sheriff's sergeant, testify ...

I suggest that you stay in Kentucky...if you pay a visit to Ukiah, Fester will have my own version of "Welcome Wagon" greeting you!  (Nov 3, 2011 | post #3)

Ukiah, CA

Mendocino County supervisor, sheriff's sergeant, testify ...

Randy Johnson needs to get off his fat ass and go out in the field and bust growers, not go to bat for them. Festr methinks that McCowen and Johnson are on the payroll of the MJ co-ops. Hello Sheriff Allman? Any comments? hello, UDJ????  (Sep 19, 2011 | post #1)

The Ukiah Daily Journal

Residents plea for city to take action on black-hole' Pal...

Let Enemas Be Here In Ukiah, and Let It Begin With MEEEEE!(theme song from Church of Religious Science!)  (Jul 12, 2010 | post #57)

The Ukiah Daily Journal

Residents plea for city to take action on black-hole' Pal...

Amen to that!!!  (Jul 12, 2010 | post #56)

The Willits News

Willits singed by San Francisco and Ukiah porn scandal

BTW, when Falleri worked in Ukiah, he was a pompous, arrogant, SOB....not surprised that "Lack of Code Enforcement Officer" Heise was involved, or Frank "Ray Hall Junior", also.  (Jun 28, 2010 | post #20)

The Willits News

Willits singed by San Francisco and Ukiah porn scandal

Extraordinary? I suppose that the fact that he eats Aardvark organs makes him "extraordinar y".  (Jun 28, 2010 | post #19)

The Ukiah Daily Journal

DDR doubles its investment in campaign

I tried to start Fester's Lightbulb and Dungeon Emporium. The planners stalled me, so I put a spell on all of them. Ray Hall grew hair on the palms of his hands, and then he took a dump and went blind. Then he retired. God, I love this county.  (Oct 3, 2009 | post #52)

The Ukiah Daily Journal

No on Measure A

Darn, I missed it. I was going to set up a flogging booth for the Raging Grannies and The Broadcasters. They could sure use Fester's music school. Lurch plays a mean harpsicord!  (Oct 3, 2009 | post #6)

The Ukiah Daily Journal

In our opinion - Poor, poor, pitiful me'

Recall him, then sentence him to a week in my dungeon...no Bikram Yoga, just some good old-fashioned flogging and whips and chains. He'll be a new man after my treatment!  (Oct 3, 2009 | post #37)

The Ukiah Daily Journal

DDR ups campaign spending ante

Fester thinks that the members of SOLE need to sign up for my one week retreat. No Pilates, no Bikram Yoga, just good old-fashioned whips and chains, and 3 square meals of bugs and aged road-kill. I'll also teach them the lost art of my lightbulb-slowing skills!  (Aug 18, 2009 | post #45)

The Ukiah Daily Journal

Another voice: Council taking a proactive approach

Fester has a plan...send the City Council and the Board of Supervisors to my dungeon for a one week retreat. I guarantee that I'll have them whipped in shape in no time. No Bikram Yoga...just good old-fashioned flogging and a diet of insects and road kill!  (Aug 18, 2009 | post #2)

The Ukiah Daily Journal

Ukiah Police Department Traffic Stops

Right on! These guys are doing a great job. Keep on bustin the meth-heads and dope transporters, and DUI'S...Ukiah needs an enema!  (Apr 28, 2009 | post #114)

The Ukiah Daily Journal

Earth Day dance on night of April 24

I tried to go to the celebration, but was turned out at the door for having an incandescent lightbulb in my mouth. Hippies just don't have a sense of humor! I hope that my salamander soup was as much of a hit as it was at the last Matteel Center's Solstice Celebration. I keep telling them it's "chicken ".  (Apr 28, 2009 | post #10)

Q & A with I Am Fester

Headline:

I Repeat:Ukiah Needs An Enema

Hometown:

Festerville aka Ukiah

Neighborhood:

Fester Vineyard Estates

Local Favorites:

Eye of Newt Stew

I Belong To:

The Thomas Edison Society

When I'm Not on Topix:

I'm reducing my carbon footprint

Read My Forum Posts Because:

I.....AM.....FESTER!!!

I'm Listening To:

Wayne Newton

Read This Book:

Fester, The Man, The Legend

Favorite Things:

Swatting flies and eating them, tending my festering grapevines.

On My Mind:

What happened to Thing?

Blog / Website / Homepage:

wakethedead.com

I Believe In:

Reincarnation, energy independence, Truth, Justice and the American Way!