Holy Handgrenade

Tony Stewart

NASCAR's Tony Stewart To Race in Australia

"The dual NASCAR Sprint Cup champion, IRL Indy car titlist and USAC silver crown, sprintcar and MIDGET MASTER is headed our way in the next day or so and will spend a few hours in Sydney on Tuesday." MIDGET MASTER??? Hmmmm...sounds like an excellent title for a porno movie!  (Monday Dec 21 | post #47)

Tony Stewart

where you going for christmas?

Off to Sin City in a few hours--YAY! Whatever holiday you all celebrate, I hope that it is joyous and filled with love, laughter and light. /I'll be flying into the sun today!  (Monday Dec 21 | post #44)

Tony Stewart

OT- Brittany Murphy Dead At 32

This is just sad...I LOVED her voice for LuAnn on "King Of The Hill". She DID look very thin--I hope she wasn't anorexic. /Dying to be thin...this needs to f * cking stop...  (Monday Dec 21 | post #7)

Tony Stewart

where you going for christmas?

Vega$, baby! Leave Monday night!  (Thursday Dec 17 | post #2)

Tony Stewart

NASCAR's Tony Stewart To Race in Australia

I am sooooo jealous! I've always wanted to go Australia & New Zealand. I hope that he has a fun time racing and can take a day or two to just lounge around on a beach... http://pics.blamei tonthevoices.com/0 32009/small_austra lian%20spiders.jpg  (Tuesday Dec 15 | post #34)

Tony Stewart

NASCAR's Tony Stewart To Race in Australia

Shoes?  (Tuesday Dec 15 | post #31)

Tony Stewart

Jr. Spotted in Wal-Fart!

Debs took the wax paper to make this sign: http://images.huff ingtonpost.com/gen /99380/original.jp g No "pubic" option!! gotta luv it!  (Saturday Dec 12 | post #10)

Tony Stewart

Jr. Spotted in Wal-Fart!

Oh...Homer *L* Yep--that's Debi Downer! I saw Debi at WalFart too: http://2.media.tum blr.com/tumblr_kpg tec0vNg1qzpwi0o1_5 00.jpg  (Saturday Dec 12 | post #9)

Tony Stewart

Jr. Spotted in Wal-Fart!

Yep...the irony of this just makes my head explode. From the awesome "People of WalMart" site--tis indeed Junebug! Go to Page 6! http://www.peopleo fwalmart.com/ http://media.peopl eofwalmart.com/wp- content/uploads/20 09/12/649.jpg Well...I guess times ARE tough! Maybe we'll see Tony in Aldi or Dollar tree...  (Saturday Dec 12 | post #1)

Tony Stewart

Friday morning chuckle

Twas the month after Christmas and all through the house, Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse! The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste, All the holiday goodies had gone to my waist. When I got on the scales there arose such a number! When I walked to the store--less a walk than a lumber ! The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please." As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt, And prepared once again to do battle with girth. I said to myself, as I only can "You can't spend the winter disguised as a man!" So...away with the last of the sour cream dip, Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip! Every last bit of food that I like must be banished, Till all the additional ounces have vanished. I won't have a cookie--not even one lick! I'll want only to chew on a celery stick. I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie, I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry...  (Friday Dec 11 | post #185)

Tony Stewart

Danica's Nascar Announcement on Tuesday 1pm

Speaking of Danica, she's coming out with her own perfume: http://www.examine r.com/examiner/x-3 1463-Sports-Babe-E xaminer~y2009m12d1 0-Danica-Patrick-t o-release-her-own- perfume So, gentlemen, if you want your lady to smell like motor oil, burning rubber, and gasoline,here ya go!  (Thursday Dec 10 | post #48)

Tony Stewart

Nascar Awards Ceremony

Tony: "So, Kasey! Ever hear of something called the 'Mile High Club?'" Kasey: Wouldn't that be in Denver? Tony: "Well...there 's a branch of it right here! Wanna 'fly the friendly skies?'" Kasey:"You're the ugliest stewardess I've ever seen!" Tony: "Well, I WAS going to offer you some nuts and ask if you wanted to see the cockpit..."  (Sunday Dec 6 | post #122)

Tony Stewart

Get a call from Tony

****ring ring**** "Hello?" *moan... pant pant!* Take off your panties and show daddy your goodies!" "Oh...Hi Tony! What's up?" "I'll give you one guess *pant*  (Sunday Dec 6 | post #5)