Send a Message
to Heidishep11




Oct 20, 2013

Heidishep11 Profile

Forums Owned

Recent Posts

Top Stories

My Daughter wants a non-family friend to be grandma to ou...

Would you feel left out, inadequate and disrespected if your daughter wants a non-family member to be grandma? This is my dilemma. I raised my 2 kids on my own. As a single parent I gave them what I could, struggled horribly and had no help at all. I admit that I was stern, sometimes worn out, but did everything I could to give them what they wanted and needed. We have a long time family acquaintance that has interfered and underminded every decision with my daughter...I got my daughter a wasn't to her liking...she was friend goes and co-signs on a different car..I told the family friend no, she has a car and doesn't need a car payment..friend did it anyhow. This is how everything has been. My daughter now favors her and resents me. Now she is pregnant with the first grandchild. I am so excited and looking forward to it. My daughter is calling the friend grandma. I was told that I have to earn the right to be called grandma. That I was not a good enough parent. For the birth of the child I was told that Grandma Debbie..the friend....will be by her side and I am welcome to come but have to just deal with it. My feelings are so hurt! I feel like my right to be a grandma has been taken from me. I am her mother and was there all her life thru all her problems and successes. I feel disrespected. I also feel like I don't have to earn anything...she should give me the respect I deserve as her mom.. I also have serious health issues with my heart and lungs....I have to remain calm to not have a heart attack or stroke. So I am trying to avoid feeling bad, putting myself in situations that I know will upset me. As a result, I feel it best to stay home during the birth. I will hurt my feelings to be pushed aside and over run by Grandma Debbie...and she has never known her place and I am sure she never will. I don't know what to do other than feel bad. I did talk with my daughter about my feelings and all of this and more was what her reply was. My gosh! Moms are supposed to be the grandmas. Don't our kids know to give us some respect. Family is family...we cant choose our families but we need to put them first. We are the ones that will always be there for them but when they don't care....what do you do then.  (Oct 20, 2013 | post #1)