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Mar 5, 2013

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Clarksburg, WV

Officer Chris Phillips and his Save*A*Hoe program.

WHEREAS, it our intention to endeavor to obtain some alteration in the doctrine of the Church, by which the Hebrew and Christian faiths will become united; as also by which the foreign churches will become Americanized; now, THEREFORE, we, Norton I, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico, do hereby prohibit the enforcement of the Sunday Law until our object is obtained and one Sunday established. 1870  (Jul 19, 2013 | post #30)

Clarksburg, WV

High

We, Norton I, by Grace of God Emperor of the United States of America and Protector of Mexico, being aware of the deplorable conditions affecting finances and desiring above all to alleviate suffering and afford to all our people a sound and safe security for their savings, have caused to be issued Treasury Certificates which are secured by all property of the Empire, and will be paid out of my private fortune if necessary, and which I decree shall be accepted everywhere as of the same value as gold coin or currency of the Realm. In the name of God, Amen. 1870  (Jun 12, 2013 | post #13)

Clarksburg, WV

How Many People, seriously, read this board

WHEREAS, the First National Bank refused to honor a small check of $100, to pay the value of a model for a Railway Switch invented by us, thereby endangering our private personal interest to a large estate: AND, WHEREAS, it is publicly notorious that one or two of the Directors have large amounts in trust belonging to our personal estate; NOW, THEREFORE, we, Norton I, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico, do hereby decree the confiscation to the State of all interest of said Bank as security for any losses we may sustain by reason of their acts. October 1869  (May 26, 2013 | post #2)

Clarksburg, WV

Eye Sore ?

[A short preface by the Collector: Shortly after the transcontinental railroad opened, a pair of trains ran head on due to a switchman's faulty timepiece. Ambrose Bierce discovered a notice which read thusly: Hereafter, when two trains moving in opposite directions are approaching each other on separate tracks, conductors and engineers will be required to bring their respective trains to a dead halt before the point of meeting, and will be very careful not to proceed until each train has passed the other. Norton claimed to have invented a switch which would work itself.] The Emperor desires that there should be a thoroughly practical and mechanical Switch, and his ideas improved upon so that Europe will be glad to pay America for the patent. October 1869  (May 20, 2013 | post #21)

Clarksburg, WV

God Roots for Dixie

WHEREAS, there are great commotions in different quarters of the terrestrial globe, arising from discussing the question, "The Purification of the Bible--its True and False Lights," and fears are entertained that a war may break out at some remote point and spread all over the world, carrying in its winding course death, pestilence, famine, devastation and ruin; WHEREAS such a state of affairs is to be deplored by all liberal-minded Christians, who oppose bigotry, charlatanism, and humbuggery, and who follow the golden maxim of the lamented Lincoln, "With malice toward none--with charity for all"; AND WHEREAS, Religion is like a beautiful garden, wherein the False Lights may be compared to the poppies, which fall to the ground, decay and are no more, the True Lights...bloom in everlasting etherealism, blessing forever the Creator and the Christian world by their Love and Truth; NOW, THEREFORE, we, Norton I [etc.], do hereby command that all communities select delegates to a Bible Convention, to be held in the City of San Francisco, State of California, U.S.A., on the second day of January, 1873, for the purpose of eliminating all doubtful passages contained in the present printed edition of the Bible, and that measures be [adopted] towards the obliteration of all religious sects and the establishment of an Universal Religion.  (May 16, 2013 | post #12)

Clarksburg, WV

Does anyone else see "cigarette" be banned?

The Public Officials having again notoriously betrayed the confidence and trust imposed in them by a trusting people; and having shamefully disregarded the public interest and the people's welfare to feather their own nests; now, therefore, We, Norton I, Emperor of America and Protector of Mexico, do hereby order all such Officials to resign forthwith, and do declare their said offices vacant from the date hereof.  (May 12, 2013 | post #21)

Clarksburg, WV

Union (Northern/Yankee) vs Confederate (South/Rebels) Son...

WHEREAS, it is our pleasure to acquiesce in all means of civilization and population: NOW, THEREFORE, we, Norton I, Dei Gratia Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico, do order and direct first, that Oakland shall be the coast termination of the Central Pacific Railroad; secondly, that a suspension bridge be constructed from the improvements lately ordered by our royal decree at Oakland Point to Yerba Buena, from thence to the mountain range of Sacilleto, and from thence to the Farallones, to be of sufficient strength and size for a railroad; and thirdly, the Central Pacific Railroad Company are charged with the carrying out of this work, for purposes that will hereafter appear. Whereof fail not under pain of death. Given under our hand this 18th day of August, A.D. 1869.  (May 11, 2013 | post #12)

Clarksburg, WV

City elections

WHEREAS, the Oaklanders are quite a well-behaved people, and may remain so if not brought in contact with the vicious and profane, and WHEREAS, it is our purpose and desire that Oakland and San Francisco shall be neighborly, but view each other afar off; NOW, THEREFORE, we, Norton I, Dei Gratia Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico, do order and direct the city engineers of both cities shall cause the space between Goat Island and Oakland to be filled in with dirt taken from Mount Diablo, and that suitable wharves for ocean steamers be erected along the front of the same; whereof fail not under our royal displeasure. Given under our hand this 13th day of August, A.D. 1869, in the City of San Francisco.  (May 7, 2013 | post #9)

Clarksburg, WV

Just in Time for 4 20. That's Four PM, and twenty minutes...

To Mr. Seward: It is my desire that, in case Maximillian will surrender, he be sent here a prisoner of war, but that in the event of his continuing the war, or refusing to surrender, then he be shot. April 1867  (May 7, 2013 | post #4)

Clarksburg, WV

Topix Depression?

DOWN WITH USURPERS AND IMPOSTERS! Off with his head! So much for cooking other people's geese. The legitimate authorities of New York are hereby commanded to seize upon the person of one Stellifer, styling himself King or Prince of the House of David, and send him in chains to San Francisco, California, on trial before our Imperial Court on various charges of fraud, alleged against him in the public prints. Probable forgery, circa 1865  (May 7, 2013 | post #6)

Clarksburg, WV

Clarksburg is Grounded

We, Norton I, do hereby decree that the offices of President, Vice President, and Speaker of the House of Representatives are, from and after this date, abolished. We further decree that the Senate of the United States elect a prominent Democrat as their presiding officer, to act as President until the next election, and to reconstruct the Cabinet according to our wishes hereafter to be declared. Done at our palace this 21st day of December, A.D. 1862.  (May 1, 2013 | post #3)

Clarksburg, WV

Dear God

WHEREAS, avaricious persons and others are conspiring against our person, right and dignity by refusing to supply us with suitable clothing, although repeatedly requested to do so; and WHEREAS, the national dignity and rights are thereby injured; NOW, THEREFORE, we command that you proceed on receipt of this our decree forthwith to the tailors, Walter and Tompkins, on Montgomery Street of this city, and then and there proceed to take the rivets out of their shears and prohibit any person from repairing them or furnish them with new ones until they shall furnish us with our clothing, which they have long ago been requested to do. Given under our hand this 11th day of September, 1862.  (Apr 18, 2013 | post #6)

Clarksburg, WV

Jonathon Davis Code Enforcement

We do hereby command the Leaders of the Hebrew, Catholic and Protestant Churches to sanctify and have us crowned Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico. Given under our hand and Seal of State this 10th day of July, 1862.  (Apr 16, 2013 | post #7)

Clarksburg, WV

9PM Tonight

WHEREAS, a body of men calling themselves the National Congress are now in session in Washington City, in violation of our Imperial edict of the 12th of October last, declaring the said Congress abolished; WHEREAS, it is necessary for the repose of our Empire that the said decree should be strictly complied with; NOW, THEREFORE, we do hereby Order and Direct Major-General Scott, the Command-in-Chief of our Armies, immediately upon receipt of this, our Decree, to proceed with a suitable force and clear the Halls of Congress. January, 1860  (Mar 8, 2013 | post #22)

Clarksburg, WV

nra 500

WHEREAS, a body of men calling themselves the National Congress are now in session in Washington City, in violation of our Imperial edict of the 12th of October last, declaring the said Congress abolished; WHEREAS, it is necessary for the repose of our Empire that the said decree should be strictly complied with; NOW, THEREFORE, we do hereby Order and Direct Major-General Scott, the Command-in-Chief of our Armies, immediately upon receipt of this, our Decree, to proceed with a suitable force and clear the Halls of Congress. Jan. 1860  (Mar 8, 2013 | post #3)

Q & A with Emperor Norton

Headline:

Emperor of the United States

Hometown:

San Francisco

Neighborhood:

Presidio