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Dec 23, 2007

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Gay/Lesbian

California county renews drive to fight Prop 8 court reve...

imagine  (Feb 27, 2011 | post #2)

Gay/Lesbian

How to deal with my best friend who told me he was gay an...

I wonder if he is bi. I wonder about that about myself.... Many (most?) of my old friends -- even siblings -- never guessed that I'm gay. Some did sense it, even though I never admitted it. I didn't act gay. I decided to be not gay. Finally, though, I realized that is impossible.  (Feb 23, 2011 | post #4)

Gay/Lesbian

How to deal with my best friend who told me he was gay an...

Dear Amherst Dude, Yes, in a sense, your friendship has been a lie, because he was hiding an elemental part of himself. And, yes, he does seem to be handling the situation badly. But maybe he has been hiding his sexuality from himself. I know how that is because I hid my own homosexuality from myself for a very long time. I pretended to be straight, convinced myself and male friends that I was. But I don’t think childhood friendships are really about sex. Think about your friendship with him from its start. Yes, probably he was attracted to you in some physical way. But he became your truly platonic friend, right? Your longstanding non-sexual relationship was valid, right? Probably it is best for you to just be supportive. Do what he wants. Give him space to resolve his own struggle. Write him a letter telling him how you feel, that you’re kind of stunned but flattered, that you just want him to be himself and you to be yourself (a heterosexual), that you hope the friendship can survive this change.  (Feb 22, 2011 | post #2)