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Feb 8, 2013

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Do you ever get mad that you didn't have a choice to be i...

You weren't asked "Hey do you want a life on earth"? Nope just forced here with no say to endure all the physical, mental, and emotional pain of being a human. Everyone has gone through something horrible in their life and if you haven't you're lying or YOU WILL. It is not fair to anyone and I consider myself to be unlucky even though I do know there are people that have and have had it worse than me I just can't stand it here and if I didn't believe in God I would hang myself. Life is just the same thing eat, work hard for little pay, stress, depression, anxiety, got to deal with terrible people all the time, sleep wake up and do it all over again until you're too old to work and die. I also have to deal with trauma and abuse from other people and myself all the time. Someone else now is going through something like that all the time! I don't even know how I make it everyday alive in the condition my mind and body is in right now and as I am typing I am shaking severely because my stress level is so incrdeibly high I can't even be still for five seconds without going crazy! I have panic attacks TERRIFYING panic attacks! I think I'm losing my mind sometimes. I don't even enjoy doing things that I used to love doing because I don't get pleasure from it but I really wish I did! All of this because of life! My self esteem is low but it never used to be this way. It was destroyed years ago and I've done whatever possible to get myself help but nothing works. No one understands and I know because when I tell people they are confused. I really hate being in this world and why people continue to bring kids here to go through the same things we are faced with is baffling. Sorry if I offended anyone. Maybe your life is better. I don't know.  (Feb 25, 2013 | post #1)