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La Porte, TX

Saturdays Funnies

I couldn't find the Fridays Joke thread so I had to start my own only it's a different day. The following joke has been around for quite awhile, but it never gets old. BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU ASK FOR A man was wandering in the woods, pondering all the mysteries of life on this holiday season, and, his own personal problems. The man couldn't find the answers, so he sought help from God. "God? You there, God?" he asked "Yes. What is it, my son?" God answered. "Mind if I ask you a few questions?" the man asked. "Go ahead my son, anything." "God, what is a millions years to you?" God answered, "A million years to me is only a second." The man asked, "God, what is a million dollars worth to you?" God replied, "A million dollars to me is worth only a penny." The man lifted his eyebrows and asked his final question. "God, can I have a penny?" God answered, "Sure, give me a second."  (Dec 10, 2011 | post #1)

La Porte, TX

Put your favorite Christmas melodies here!!!

LMAO Challenger, you're really on a roll!!! Keep 'em coming.  (Dec 10, 2011 | post #8)

La Porte, TX

Poker party!

LMAO You still have a lot of chairs to fill!!!! That rental must be adding up. It's getting pretty bad when you have to post and bribe on Topix just to have friends!!  (Dec 10, 2011 | post #14)

La Porte, TX

Who Would You Nominate for LP Mayor???

I'm with you. I've seen nothing wrong with the way Mayor Rigby is doing his job.  (Dec 10, 2011 | post #3)

La Porte, TX

Who Would You Nominate for LP Mayor???

OR Who Would You Like To See Run For Mayor of La Porte?? As it's been proven, it doesn't matter if you think that person can win or not. Anyone can throw their hat (?roach?) in the ring. It's all for ENTERTAINMENT right???? Apparently the application fee is not very much. My suggestion is, before the next Mayoral race, the fee is increased to a point that only SERIOUS contenders run. Hopefully that would cut out the idiot/s that do nothing more than make a mockery of our system AND OUR city!  (Dec 10, 2011 | post #1)

La Porte, TX

Who do you support for State Board of Education in Texas ...

Don cha'll know it's almost the year 2012? Whut's wrong with cha'll? Ya don know how to start a new topic?? Or, as some refer to, a new thread?? Or ya just too damn lazy to!!! The only reason Ahm posting here is just letting ya know whut kind of idjuts ya look like!! COME ON NOW - I know someone caint wait to hit tha REPLY key so's they can correct all mah mistakes!!! That'll jus prove mah point! A bunch of idjuts! By the way, I never said Ah wadn't an idjut!  (Nov 2, 2011 | post #321)

La Porte, TX

Facts & Myths of the Pit Bull

PART -2- (ATTENTION) In the late 20th century, Pit Bulls became the breed of choice for drug dealers and other illegal enterprises, both as a status Symbol and as a means of protection. Rather than socializing the dogs as pets, these dogs were specifically bred and trained to be aggressive. To make money off of the dogs, the owners often turn to gambling on dog fights. Because this type of owner is not particularly concerned with being responsible, pit bulls are often not contained properly to prevent injuries to others. The Centers for Disease Control estimates that as many as one-third of fatal dog attacks are due to Pit Bulls. This has resulted in a number of cities and states within the U.S., as well as many other countries, banning any dog that looks like it may have Pit Bull heritage. Urban legends abound regarding Pit Bulls. Some say their jaws lock shut on their prey, but studies have shown that the jaw structure and function of a Pit Bull is no different than that of any other dog of its size. Other stories say that Pit Bulls are unable to feel pain, which is why pepper spray or other pain-inflicting devices are ineffective in stopping a Pit Bull attack. It isn't that the dog can't feel pain, it is that he has been bred and trained to finish his task in spite of the pain. Pit Bulls who are responsibly bred, trained and socialized can indeed make good pets, in spite of the additional insurance most owners in the United States are required to carry if they own one of these dogs. Celebrities such as Jessica Biel, Rachael Ray, and Jon Stewart own Pit Bulls, as does Cesar Millan, The Dog Whisperer. Pit Bulls have even been nicknamed "nanny dogs" for their propensity to adopt orphaned animals such as kittens and baby squirrels. There are numerous stories of heroic Pit Bulls, including Chief, who in 2007 dashed in front of a spitting cobra to save his family. The dog was able to prevent the snake from hurting the humans, but died later from the dose of venom he received. Due to the breed's high energy and intelligence, they make great working dogs, often being used in search and rescue as well as for drug-sniffing operations. Dakota, a Pit Bull from California was used to search for Laci Peterson after her disappearance and for the remains of the Space Shuttle Columbia's crew after the explosion. Popsicle, a Pit Bull used by the United States Customs Service, was involved in one of the biggest cocaine busts in history. Incidentally, Popsicle received his name when he was rescued from a freezer where he had been left to die after serving as a bait dog to train fighters. Norton, another dog rescued from the fighting ring, saved his mom's life when she went into anaphylactic shock after a spider bite. The dog nudged the woman's husband until he woke up to assist his wife. It is a tribute to the intelligence of the breed that so many dogs rescued from the fighting ring can be rehabilitated as pets. Of the nearly 50 Pit Bulls taken from Michael Vick in 2007, only one had to be euthanized due to its aggressive tendencies. About half of the dogs required rehabilitative behavior training, while the remainder were deemed suitable for adoption immediately. If you are thinking about adopting a Pit Bull, you must make sure you are worthy of the task. Early obedience training is essential, as is keeping the dog supplied with work or play that makes use of his high energy level and intelligence. Before you adopt, make sure you know your local laws and insurance regulations concerning this breed, as your expenses may be quite a bit higher with a Pit Bull than with other breeds who do not have such a bad reputation. **** Read more: http://www.doggies .com/american_pit_ bull_terrier#ixzz1 cb3JfkDl Ah'm not taking sides here, I just think that the history of the Pit Bull dog should be presented for a true understanding of their nature.  (Nov 2, 2011 | post #2)

La Porte, TX

Facts & Myths of the Pit Bull

PART -1- Perhaps no other dog in history has been the subject of so much controversy as the Pit Bull. In truth, the name Pit Bull covers a large number of individual breeds, all lumped together based on their appearance and tendency towards aggression. This is not to say that all Pit Bulls are aggressive, however. Properly cared for, trained, and socialized, the Pit Bull can be an amazing companion. Some have even been used as assistance dogs and therapy dogs with great success. The breeds most often called Pit Bulls are the American Pit Bull Terrier, the American Staffordshire Terrier, and the Staffordshire Bull Terrier. There are several other lesser-known breeds which are loosely grouped into the term "Pit Bull", including the Perro de Presa Canario, the Cane Corso, and the Dogo Argentino. Their ancestry is from the bulldogs and terriers of England, where terriers served such an important function that each county had its own breed of terrier. These dogs were used to kill vermin that would otherwise spread diseases such as the Black Plague. In addition, vermin were also known to ruin crops and damage property, so the terrier was kept quite busy. The bulldog, meanwhile did exactly what the name implied - he herded bulls. When a farmer needed to bring a bull in from the field for castration or slaughter, it was not unheard of for the bull to gore the farmer.(Go figure! Maybe they knew what was coming!) The bulldog would bite the bull's nose and tenaciously hold on until the bull left the farmer alone. As is often the case, sporting contests grew around the required work. Just as cowboys compete in rodeos, English terriers and bulldogs competed in competitions meant to show off their skills, being baited by rats and badgers for the terrier, and by bulls and bears for the bulldogs. Parliament soon banned the practice as inhumane, and those ever-inventive Brits turned to dog-fighting as a pastime. The bulldogs weren't particularly interested, so they were bred to English White terriers or Black and Tan Terriers to produce the Staffordshire Bull Terrier, a strong, tenacious dog, capable of fighting for the pleasure of his owners. It should be noted that the goals pursued by selective breeding were intelligence and non-aggression towards the handler and fight referee. Both qualities are displayed in present-day Pit Bull. With the massive immigration of Irish and English into Boston during the mid-1800's, many Staffordshire Bulls were brought to the United States, where they were bred to be larger and stockier. This new breed came to be known as the American Pit Bull Terrier and was soon quite popular. Pete the Pup was featured in Our Gang, which evolved into The Little Rascals. The dog even appeared on the cover of Life magazine three times, more than any other breed. (  (Nov 2, 2011 | post #1)

La Porte, TX

Why people don't get permits

HooooooWeeeeee! I've been gone for a while and I can see taint nothin changed! Just goes to prove that there are some things that do stay the same. lol  (Nov 2, 2011 | post #128)

La Porte, TX

Somewhere New

HOO HOO more like: Home DOESN T want you . . . . . Gotta call it a nite I hear the sirens 20 minutes now  (Jan 8, 2011 | post #8)

La Porte, TX

Viewers

HA HA HA HA HA HA HE S GONNA BE REALLY ROTFLHAO AND SAYING I TOLD YOU SO! HAVE YA LL SEEN IT?? NEW TOPIX APP FOR iPHONES!! POST ANY TIME! HA! YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA GET TO PULL ONE OVER ON EVERYBODY DID NT YOU HEAVYFED FOS?  (Jan 8, 2011 | post #6)

La Porte, TX

Viewers

LISTEN UP EVERYBODY OH MY GOD - WHAT HAVE WE DONE?! Well maybe not WE because I haven t been around for awhile -- SO -- WHAT HAVE YA LL DONE?! Ya ll have let him go over the edge HE wants to see 100 posters within two months!!! via HIS website HE is sending HIS loyal and trusting fans to: ( drumroll ) TOPIX of LA PORTE by HEAVYFED FOS  (Jan 8, 2011 | post #5)

La Porte, TX

i have proof!

Oh Oh Better yet Why are you posting your life on Topix when you could write a book yourself!! So don t say know more so everyone will be kept in suspense until the book comes out and then we will all camp out on the bookstore sidewalk overnight to make sure we get our hands on a copy of it as soon as it comes out.  (Jan 8, 2011 | post #54)

La Porte, TX

i have proof!

WHEW I ve had a lot of catching up to do I surely do hope that you are keeping a journal of all the s**t you post on Topix or at least I hope there is someone in your family that is printing all this s**t out so that you will leave your family some way to cash in on you after you re gone It s really (insert a word) when you re a legacy in your own mind  (Jan 8, 2011 | post #53)

La Porte, TX

Was Heavy in Arizona today?

Ya know everything looked like it was going real smooth while you were gone but there are some that don t think others realize you re not putting in you re pennies worth and that just gets you out of the woodwork OH HELL  (Jan 8, 2011 | post #12)

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