"...get off your fat lazy ass, get a job, and act like a man for once in your pathetic miserable life..."--A perfect example of passive-aggressive christer "love".
Jesus still loves you even though you are consumed with vile hatred, bigotry, and intolerance. It's OK to cry out for help. I would suggest a church might be a better vehicle than online forums, but we can tell you are depressed and self-loathing. You don't have to continue the hate. Christmas is the time to believe in hope. Since you have no hope for yourself, I will hope that you find it in your heart to get off your fat lazy ass, get a job, and act like a man for once in your pathetic miserable life. Jesus loves you, but he dislikes your whining. ;)