Robots to control pigeon population?

[JG OP]

My distinguished colleagues and I were awarded a $484,990.22 grant from the City of New York in 1988 to create , fabricate and test a "robotic pidgeon catching eaglebot" for them to release amidst the city to eradicate pidgeons. We rushed to rent a nice two story apartment and laboritory and hired some excellant robotic engineers. In 9 weeks we had crated "thor" the robotic Eagle.He was a splendid creature and ran on ordinary 9 volt transisitor radio batteries. Unfortunatley, on Thors first test flight, he seemed more intrested in "Humping" the confused pidgeons, and the Mayors Council became extremely angry. We attempted to fix the problem and re-wired the mighty roboEagle head to talon, but he , once more , began to "hump" all of the pidgeaons he could get his beak on. Fortunatley, we found that by merey switching the red wires with the blue wires, he also could recieve AM and FM radio stations (His body was made from an old radio alarm clock) We sold the rights to a Japanese novelty firm and made over 70 Million dollars.

[Nah no not]

It will never work our pigeons are the smartest they will
poop on this mechanical bird.

[Deranged Scientist]

Buddy wrote:

How about some sort of birth control we can feed the pigeons?

Yes. Cyanide.

A robot seems like an overcomplicated and expensive way to deal with birds, but as a mad scientist I believe a killer robohawk that shoots lasers out its eyeballs would be several thousand times more effective. Also, while $4,200 may be ludicrous for a robot that just sits there and makes noise, its about right for a flying one with a compact pulse laser.

Back in the real world, I have to ask what the heck these people are thinking.

[Oscar and Felix]

The Pigeon sisters would make a great czar.

[Alberto]

Well after reading some of the comments, I have to say that in trying to screw up with nature, has taken us to where we are standing right now, by the way .. There is not one case of any diseases transmitted by pigeons to humans on file, small percentage of pigeon breeders have, but that is because of lack of hygiene , poor ventilation and neglect of the coop, not one case of the rest of the population, otherwise the CDC would have taken care of them years ago.
More chances to get something from people than those pacific and beautiful birds. sooo should we call people walking rats also?

[Sammie]

Tina Fey wrote:

Can these pigeons control the Duggar population as well?
If so, send one out there!!!

Great idea!!!!

[dark angel]

Why don't people smarten up and put excess money where it could do some real good.....like feeding hungry children, helping the homeless, help the mentally challenged, getting rid of puppy mills, the list is endless. We live in such a screwed up society. This harmless, beautiful bird has done nothing to be frowned upon so badly. Get past the poops and you'll come to love this bird. People really, get a life and come up with a better way to spend money than on robo hawks. Idiots! I'd befriend a pigeon way before befriending a person. Their love is unconditional.

[JG OP]

PIDGEON ROBOTS TAUGHT TO MILK CATS: Headline in todays "Globe"

[Rafael Carcasona]

I had the opportunity to see how it works in a landfill close to a waste treatment plant and is impressive how well it works

[BETTER IDEA]

I think a mechanical Hillary would scare most of the birds, and varmints, from the NYC area.

Follow the money, I guarantee it goes to someone involved with the approval procedures for this rip off!

Only in New York!

[Save Long Island]

Get REAL falcons and let avian drama unfold.

[Vilhelm Black]

I am astounded at just how stupid people are. For instance...

"get a gun and shoot them"

Yeah, that makes good sense... I'm sure there would never be an errant ricochet.

"Poison them"

Yeah, that's what we need... lots of poisonous bird feed strewn about the streets for all the wildlife (and pets) to eat.

Here's an novel idea... how about bringing in a few of the pigeons natural predator, the Peregrine Falcon? Something tells me that you could import a fair number of falcons for $50,000. Let nature take care of population control. Who knows, maybe we'll get lucky, and the falcons will kill a few stupid politicians with one of their 200 MPH dives.

[Vilhelm Black]

JG OP wrote:

My distinguished colleagues and I were awarded a $484,990.22 grant from the City of New York in 1988 to create , fabricate and test a "robotic pidgeon catching eaglebot" for them to release amidst the city to eradicate pidgeons. We rushed to rent a nice two story apartment and laboritory and hired some excellant robotic engineers. In 9 weeks we had crated "thor" the robotic Eagle.He was a splendid creature and ran on ordinary 9 volt transisitor radio batteries. Unfortunatley, on Thors first test flight, he seemed more intrested in "Humping" the confused pidgeons, and the Mayors Council became extremely angry. We attempted to fix the problem and re-wired the mighty roboEagle head to talon, but he , once more , began to "hump" all of the pidgeaons he could get his beak on. Fortunatley, we found that by merey switching the red wires with the blue wires, he also could recieve AM and FM radio stations (His body was made from an old radio alarm clock) We sold the rights to a Japanese novelty firm and made over 70 Million dollars.

The fact that you can't spell to save your life is funnier than this entire post.

[Chaz]

Here's a thought:

Peregrine falcons.*REAL* birds!

Many other US cities have them. There's even Webcams of their nests which show the fledgling chicks of a mated pair.

Is NY so unprogressive that it can't find real peregrine falcons? It's not like the birds would die from lack of food, that's for effing sure.

[Chaz]

Hey, look, even a library in Evanston IL has them. You can't tell me that NYC can't get real falcons!

Jaysus,$50K could surely get a nesting pair.

http://www.epl.org/falconcam/

[Loyal Democrat]

Chaz wrote:

Here's a thought:
Peregrine falcons.*REAL* birds!
Many other US cities have them. There's even Webcams of their nests which show the fledgling chicks of a mated pair.
Is NY so unprogressive that it can't find real peregrine falcons? It's not like the birds would die from lack of food, that's for effing sure.

No, New Yorker's are not unprogressive, whatever that term is supposed to mean.

They are actually much too 'progressive' which is why they will not consider bringing in a true predator to control the population of the unwanted birds.

Because, the 'real' predator will KILL the pigeons, and in this 'progressive' society, that is not considered 'humane'.

Regarding the cameras at the falcon nests, I would suggest a better place would be the pigeon nests, so we could watch the falcons as they violently and methodically raid the nests and kill the unwanted baby pigeons.

Actually witnessing the results of our feel good policies would truly be 'progressive'.

[Blech]

Gary wrote:

<quoted text>
Umm, can you say CRACKPOT!!!!

Your reply makes you sound like a bird brain parrot. CRACKPOT CRACKPOT SQUAWK.

Come back when you can add to the debate. Leave the birds alone. If anything, poison people or fly more planes into buildings.

[FREE MAN]

anybody that knows pigeons could trap thousands of steet pigeons a week. the problem is the city woulh have to care for them until they die. and must break their eggs. that fake hawk will scare them off for a little while, or chase them to another neighborhood.

[Waiting for 2012]

Why not get real falcons and put them into the city to kill the pigeons AND the rats? They brought in peregrine falcons in Chicago; not sure how it's working (since I no longer live there), but that would also help hawks on the endangered species list.

[ElmontResident]

Just a matter of time before SkyNet takes over. Then come the human robots going on a spree.