This guy doesn't ever remotely care about you. I hope you are not trying to fool yourself into thinking he does.I am 20 years old. I have been having unprotected sex with my boyfriend for three years now. he is somalia. He wants a three some with a women, I am tempted but not sure , he wants anal. I am a bit scared. do any Somalian have any experience with anal ? is it really painful. He says he wont marry me if I don't give in and will tell the Somalian community. I am from Mogadishu and he is from Hergeisa. We made a sex tape, I am afraid he will show people. what shall I do?
Please brothers and sisters I need your advice, please don't cuss me, I already feel bad and shamed.
He will never marry you. He is just using you for as much sex as he can, and enjoying degrading you. When he has done every imaginable thing he can think of to you, he will call you a whore and dump you, then go on to marry someone he considers a virgin, or near virgin.
What he is doing to you is an extreme form of abuse, and if he was in the United States, he could go to jail for rape. Sex by blackmail is rape.
You are so lucky that you are not yet pregnant, but you may now have some kind of sexually transmitted disease.
First, tell him that you are not going to do ANYTHING else with him, not even have coffee with him, if he does not hand over the tape. If he says no, he may then tell the community, or let others see it. But that is not as bad as what will happen if you let this go any further.
Try to think of someway that you could make it believable that he doped your drink or something to make you do whatever you did on the tape.
Then tell him that if he does try to show it or tell anyone, that you "now remember" that he must have drugged you, because you didn't remember a thing about it.
If you think he is about to tell or show the tape, go to the police and tell them that he drugged you, made you have sex with him on the tape, and now is using it to try to blackmail you into continuing. And do it BEFORE he shows it to anyone!
Yes, this is a lie. But look, he doesn't mind treating you in this horrible fashion. He is very happy to try to ruin your life!!! When he said he loved you, it was a lie. When he says he will marry you, that is a lie. He does not mind telling a lie so that he can hurt and control you.
You need to fight fire with fire!
Ask him if he has ever had sex with the other girl yet, and tell him that you would have to meet her first. He may be blackmailing her in the same way! Try to get to talk to her in private. Find out if he is doing something similar to her. If he is, the two of you need to go to the police together!