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21 - 40 of 70 Comments Last updated Jun 4, 2014
Polynesians

Auckland, New Zealand

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#22
May 22, 2013
 
Three young samoan boys were discussing their plans for the future.

One of the samoan boys says when he grows up he wants to be the first Samoan Astronaut, and even better he says he wants to be the first Samoan Astronaut to go to the Sun!

His friends say "Eh are you valea (Are you stupid)...You gonna burn up"

He answers confidently " Nope me leave at night time"
Polynesians

Auckland, New Zealand

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#23
May 22, 2013
 
Love you GF or wife , Money is the root of all evil . hahah
A Samoan man rushes home, bursting through the front door of his house yelling to his wife: "Pack your bags honey, I've just won the lottery! 10 million of it..."
"Woooohoooo! "That's great, sweetie!" she replies, "Do I pack for the beach or mountains?"
"Who cares," he replies, "Just pack your bags and get out!"
Laulii Lion Heart

Sydney, Australia

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#24
May 22, 2013
 
3 men, one Maori, one Japanese and a Samoan were sitting naked in a sauna, Suddenly, there was a beeping sound. The Maori pressed his forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at him questioningly.

"That was my pager," he said, "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm." A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese fellow lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained, "That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand."

The Samoan felt decidedly low tech, but not to be outdone he decided he had to do something just as impressive. He stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom.

He returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his behind. The others raised their eyebrows and stared at him. The Samoan finally said.......... "Well, will you look at that, I am getting a fax!"
Polynesians

Auckland, New Zealand

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#25
May 22, 2013
 
Laulii Lion Heart wrote:
3 men, one Maori, one Japanese and a Samoan were sitting naked in a sauna, Suddenly, there was a beeping sound. The Maori pressed his forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at him questioningly.
"That was my pager," he said, "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm." A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese fellow lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained, "That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand."
The Samoan felt decidedly low tech, but not to be outdone he decided he had to do something just as impressive. He stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom.
He returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his behind. The others raised their eyebrows and stared at him. The Samoan finally said.......... "Well, will you look at that, I am getting a fax!"
hahahaha , good one , fax with shit stains on it . hahahah
684renegade

Columbus, GA

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#27
May 22, 2013
 
I'm laughing so hard my head's about to bust! Why didn't I think of this sheit? Wow! Good to know we can laugh at ourselves and love it. Good Stuff!
Proud

Lower Hutt, New Zealand

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#28
May 22, 2013
 

Judged:

1

1

1

Thrift Shop



CGW

I love you Tua....:)
pingpingpong

Stoke-on-trent, UK

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#29
May 23, 2013
 

Judged:

2

1

1

A tongan gives his pet rabbit to a boso fijian he ask what should we name him fat sumo homo ahahah ahahahah
Polynesians

Auckland, New Zealand

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#30
May 23, 2013
 
pingpingpong wrote:
A tongan gives his pet rabbit to a boso fijian he ask what should we name him fat sumo homo ahahah ahahahah
your joke lack creativity and humour :(
HAMO

Apia, Samoa

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#31
May 26, 2013
 
Polynesians wrote:
For My Samoan Brother this is too funny
Samoan words of the day (just say this outloud when your reading it, it makes more sense that way)
1.*Cheese*
The teacher told Semisi to use the word cheese in a sentence. Semisi
replies: Malia like me, but cheese fat.
2.*Mushroom*
When all my family get in the car, there's not mushroom.
3.*Shoulder*
My fren wanted 2 become a citizen but she didn't know how to read so I shoulder.
4.* Texas *
My fren always Texas me when I'm not home to aks where I'm gone!
5.*Herpes*
Me and my fren order pizza. I got mine piece and she got herpes.
6.*July*
Ju told me ju was goin to da store and July to me! Julyer!
7.*Rectum*
I had 2 cars but my wife rectum!
8.*Chicken*
I was going to go to the store with my wife but chicken go herself.
9.*Wheelchair*
We only have one piece left, but don't wolly, wheelchair.
10.*Chicken**wing*
My wife plays the lottery so chicken wing.
11.*Harassment*
My wife caught me in bed with another women and I told her honey har-ass-ment nothing to me.
12.*Bishop*
My wife fell down the stair so I had to pick the bishop.
13.*Bodywash*
I want to go to the club but no bodywash my kids.
14.*Budweiser*
That women over there has a nice body, budweiser face so ugly?
i like it!!!!:)
HAMO

Apia, Samoa

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#32
May 26, 2013
 
Polynesians wrote:
Maria is a beautiful Samoan girl fell in love with Sione. She planned to marry very soon. She was so happy about her wedding plans, she decided to tell her papa. Papa told her, "Maria, you'll have to find another.Your Mother does not know this, but Sione is your half-brother, my son to another woman". So Maria forgot about her Sione, and soon planned to marry Manu .But after telling papa again, he said, "Maria there's trouble still. You cannot marry Manu, my darling. Please don't tell your mother, but Manu is your half-brother too, my other son to another woman..." Maria had no choice but to go to her mama. Mama already knew and said "Don't worry darling, do what makes you happy. Marry Manu or marry Sione, because you are not related to Papa."
thats common in tonga aye.aniwayz dat was dry.like your mouth.
HAMO

Apia, Samoa

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#33
May 26, 2013
 
Polynesians wrote:
This is a good read!!!!!
To ma dear suka pie,
I was woke up dis morning in da 2pm, and I was fink of you
piutiful face. So I fiiiiinks and fiiiiinks a very lot to maself and I...then a lyt like a bulb pop on in ma mind and I fought to rite a ledder to you...Paaart, is veli hard to say wat you means to ma lyf, so I have ma breakfast in 2:30pm in the morning...Then I fiiiiinks again to rite you are poems from ma heart even tho I steals some words from da lyrics.
You are da flowa of ma eye, you da pird in da sky.
When you tela to me you luff me, you makes ma hart wanna fly.
You reminds me of da santa claus everydime you makes ma day,issss like chingle bells, chingle bells, chiiiingle all da way.
Like UB40 say, da way you steal ma heart you are a crook,
Da way you fink so smaaaarts, you cud luk lyk a book,
Da way you dooze da fings you do.
I likes day way you do da fings you dooze.
Like Lauryn Hill say, da sigght of you makes me weak,
Paaaart ma Auntee was tell to me, ma eye are sore cos of no sleep.
Paaart, you are just too good to be tru,
So I just cant takes me eyesight away from you.
I'm lyk Uncle Bob, is dis luff,is dis luff dat I'm feeling?
Or maybe I fink da raindrop from da hole in ma ceiling?
You are ma COCONUT QUEEN, the gurl of ma dreams.
You remind me of ma alarm, you makes me dinga linga ling.
So to you ma suka pie, I was gant biliv ma eye.
How are person like yourself, is luff me big like da sky.
LuffLongOtime, all da time and full time,
from your sweet bork pie,
Kokanati Fast-Time...LOL...
do some more?dat was dope :)
HAMO

Apia, Samoa

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#34
May 26, 2013
 
Polynesians wrote:
"Why Samoans can't be Terrorists"
 8:45 is too early for us to be up
 We are always late, we would have missed all 4 flights
 Pretty people on the plane distract us
 We would talk loudly and bring attention to ourselves
 With food and drinks on the plane, we would forget why we're there
 We talk with our hands, therefore we would have to put our weapons down
 We would ALL want to fly the plane
 We can't keep a secret, we would have told everyone a week before doing it
 We would NOT wanna Commit Suicide For No One
dat was not a joke.i didnt even laugh a bit.do u even know how to make a joke,if not,get da f... out.fOFF
wow

Auckland, New Zealand

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#35
May 26, 2013
 
Excuse HAMO.. She/He is obviously bipolar. Lol

Since: Aug 12

Location hidden

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#36
May 26, 2013
 

Judged:

1

I ran into this obese, hideous, sweaty smelly Samoan who was waddling over to me... And I asked her, where did she just come from.... She answered, while huffing and puffing from walking a few inches "I just came from work"...

I couldn't stop laughing... lmao hahaha
684renegade

Columbus, GA

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#37
May 27, 2013
 
Poly KING wrote:
I ran into this obese, hideous, sweaty smelly Samoan who was waddling over to me... And I asked her, where did she just come from.... She answered, while huffing and puffing from walking a few inches "I just came from work"...
I couldn't stop laughing... lmao hahaha
Dry like that lafakoga on your face, phaggot! So long as you keep eating dogs,...you'll have the lafa virus forever. Ahahaha!:P
Polynesians

Auckland, New Zealand

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#38
May 27, 2013
 
A little girl Sina asked her Tina:
'How did the human race appear?'

The mother answered,'God made Adam and Eve;
they had children; and so was all mankind made.'

Two days later the girl asked her Simone the same question.

The Simone answered,
'Many years ago there were monkeys from
which the human race evolved.'

The confused girl returned to her mother and said,
'Mum, how is it possible that you told me the
human race was created by God,
and Dad, said they developed from monkeys?'

The mother answered,
'Well, Sina, it is very simple.
I told you about my side of the family,
and your father told you about his.
Polynesians

Auckland, New Zealand

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#39
May 27, 2013
 
HAMO wrote:
<quoted text>
dat was not a joke.i didnt even laugh a bit.do u even know how to make a joke,if not,get da f... out.fOFF
donít be offended. it seem you only laugh when the jokes is not directed to Samoan ,and when it is , you get your mood swings.it that time of the month huh?.

Have sense of humour .
SURF808

Porirua, New Zealand

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#40
May 27, 2013
 
The Tongan women in South Auckland were gossiping and admiring Fiji Warrior's dad walking him to school every morning;

Until PK's mom said: "No! you silly oaf, we are all in the same grade."
Polynesians

Auckland, New Zealand

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#41
May 27, 2013
 
Perfume

A Samoan lady was riding a hotel elevator somewhere in down town Auckland together with an American and a French Woman. The American woman pulled out her perfume and sprinkled. The French woman said, "Smells nice, what brand? and how much is it? The American woman responded, "Bervely Hills, and its .00 per ounce. The French woman got out her perfume and sprinkled. The Samoan woman said, "What an aroma. What is it? and how much"? The French woman responded, "Its Paris, and its .50 per ounce". The Samoan woman stretched out to push the elevator button and she k...(passed air)The elevator door went flung open and the American Woman and French Woman both said, "What a smell" What brand is it and how much does it cost"? The Samoan lady responded as she got of the elevator, "Its Corned Beef and it cost .50 for 12 ounce.
Polynesians

Auckland, New Zealand

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#42
May 27, 2013
 
A samoan calls 000

"Herro, is dis the Bolice?"

"Yes can I help you"

"Im calling to rebort my neighbours his a Tongan manz and he be hiding Marijuana in his firewood"

"Thank you very much for your call sir"

The next day the police officers descend on the Tongan neighbours house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood but find no Marijiana. They curse and swear to themselves, apologise to the Tongan man for the mix up and left.

The next day the Samoan man rings the Tongan man

"Hey Tonga! Did the Bolice come to your house on yesterday?"

"Yeah!"

"And they chop your firewoods?"

"Yeah?"

"Happy Birthday USO!

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