Russia joke part 2

Posted in the Russia Forum

Since: Jul 10

Massachusetts

#1 Jul 21, 2013
Russian joke:
You only die once
HAHAHA...HAHAHA..Geez so funny!

“In the cockles of weirdness”

Since: Oct 12

Location hidden

#2 Jul 21, 2013
Unlol wrote:
Russian joke:
You only die once
HAHAHA...HAHAHA..Geez so funny!
Hi Unlol!:)
How are you?

“Hello. America? It's me.”

Since: Oct 12

Rostov-na-Donu

#3 Jul 21, 2013
What is was? O_o

“In the cockles of weirdness”

Since: Oct 12

Location hidden

#4 Jul 22, 2013
Leonid-Rostow wrote:
What is was? O_o
Yeah I didn't get it either.
XXX

Addis Ababa, Ethiopia

#5 Jul 23, 2013
An American, a Hindu and a Russian land in Purgatory. A grey-winged angel with a huge whip hanging from his belt meets them and says: "Alright, here's the rules. Anyone who takes three strikes from my whip without screaming, can go straight to Heaven. You can shield yourselves with whatever you like. We've got everything here. Who's first?" The American steps forward. "Alright, you've got three hours to prepare yourself." The American puts on a full-body Kevlar outfit, gets into a tank, drives it into a concrete bunker, the bunker is covered with 15 feet of dirt and inch-thick titanium sheets. The angel unravels his whip. SNAP! The titanium and the dirt are gone. SNAP! The bunker and tank are gone. SNAP! The American howls in pain, the ground opens up under his feet and he drops straight to Hell. "Next", says the angel. The Hindu steps forward. "You've got three hours to prepare yourself." / "I need only five minutes. I have studied Yoga all my life and can make myself immune to all pain." The Hindu gets into a lotus position, hums mantras for a few minutes and rises a couple of inches off the ground. The angel unravels his whip. SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! The Hindu is completely unfazed. "Hmm, impressive. Alright, you're free to go." / "Thank you, but only after I see how this one makes it out of this.", says the Hindu, looking at the Russian./ "Your call." The angel turns to the Russian: "What are you going to shield yourself with?" / "With the Hindu, of course."

I found this joke very funny!

“Hello. America? It's me.”

Since: Oct 12

Rostov-na-Donu

#6 Jul 24, 2013
Aha, funny =))

Since: Apr 11

Location hidden

#7 Jul 24, 2013
XXX wrote:
An American, a Hindu and a Russian land in Purgatory. A grey-winged angel with a huge whip hanging from his belt meets them and says: "Alright, here's the rules. Anyone who takes three strikes from my whip without screaming, can go straight to Heaven. You can shield yourselves with whatever you like. We've got everything here. Who's first?" The American steps forward. "Alright, you've got three hours to prepare yourself." The American puts on a full-body Kevlar outfit, gets into a tank, drives it into a concrete bunker, the bunker is covered with 15 feet of dirt and inch-thick titanium sheets. The angel unravels his whip. SNAP! The titanium and the dirt are gone. SNAP! The bunker and tank are gone. SNAP! The American howls in pain, the ground opens up under his feet and he drops straight to Hell. "Next", says the angel. The Hindu steps forward. "You've got three hours to prepare yourself." / "I need only five minutes. I have studied Yoga all my life and can make myself immune to all pain." The Hindu gets into a lotus position, hums mantras for a few minutes and rises a couple of inches off the ground. The angel unravels his whip. SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! The Hindu is completely unfazed. "Hmm, impressive. Alright, you're free to go." / "Thank you, but only after I see how this one makes it out of this.", says the Hindu, looking at the Russian./ "Your call." The angel turns to the Russian: "What are you going to shield yourself with?" / "With the Hindu, of course."
I found this joke very funny!
.

That's very amusing.

Since: Jul 10

Massachusetts

#8 Aug 25, 2013
luul
bobby

Charleston, WV

#9 Sep 1, 2013
whats the differents between a russian and dog crap' nothing lol oops this was to be a joke not the truth

Since: Apr 11

Location hidden

#10 Sep 1, 2013
bobby wrote:
whats the differents between a russian and dog crap' nothing lol oops this was to be a joke not the truth
.

The only crap here is you spelling, you dumb i diot. Hehehehe.

Since: Apr 11

Location hidden

#11 Sep 1, 2013
your
free bread for you

Chapmanville, WV

#12 Sep 1, 2013
you spelling ok 'your the village idiot' feach the paper for your fearless gay leader 'idiot lmao

Since: Apr 11

Location hidden

#13 Sep 1, 2013
free bread for you wrote:
you spelling ok 'your the village idiot' feach the paper for your fearless gay leader 'idiot lmao
.

Not only are you a blind i diot but also, a blind one. Hehehehe.

Since: Apr 11

Location hidden

#14 Sep 1, 2013
free bread for you wrote:
you spelling ok 'your the village idiot' feach the paper for your fearless gay leader 'idiot lmao
.

Not only are you a blind i diot but also, a dumb one. Hehehehe.

“In the cockles of weirdness”

Since: Oct 12

Location hidden

#15 Sep 1, 2013
bobby wrote:
whats the differents between a russian and dog crap' nothing lol oops this was to be a joke not the truth
Haha I like jokes!

Q: What do West Virginians do on Halloween?

A: Pump kin!

LOL

“In the cockles of weirdness”

Since: Oct 12

Location hidden

#16 Sep 1, 2013
Q: Why do ducks fly over West Virginia upside down?

A: There's nothing worth craping on!

“In the cockles of weirdness”

Since: Oct 12

Location hidden

#18 Sep 1, 2013
Q: Why are rectal thermometers banned in West Virginia?

A: They cause too much brain damage!

“In the cockles of weirdness”

Since: Oct 12

Location hidden

#19 Sep 1, 2013
One more! These are funny.

Exerpts from the West Virginia Vocabulary Book:

Rectum - I had two Lexus coups, but my old lady rectum.

Hotel - I gave my girlfriend crabs and the hotel everybody.

Israel - Alozono tried to sell me a rolex watch. I said man this looks fake. He said what a joke that watch israel.

Iraq - When we got to the pool hall I told my uncle you break Iraq.

Horde - My sister got in trouble because she horde around.

Fortify - I axed the ho how much and she said fortify is the price honey.

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