jokes

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Since: Jul 11

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#83
Feb 27, 2012
 
Moleko-o-dieta wrote:
A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a
beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour
of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over
to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you
mind if I chatted with you for a while?"
She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs,
"NO! I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in
the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy
is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and
he slinks back to his table.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him
and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm
sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a
graduate student in psychology, and I'm studying
how people respond to embarrassing situations."
To which he responds, at the top of his lungs,
"What do you mean $200?!"
Somehting like thishappened live eseng joke fela kapa imagination.
A guy with his galfriend ba qabana strateng, ka busstop Maseru, auty ea betsa cheri ka clapa ea ba lla , ha e re hoa!! batho ba hetla ba sheba na keng, keha ngoanana a buela holimo a re "khale ke u joetsa hore ke tla u tlepentla, ua ntloaela he!" batho keha ba sheba auty ena joale a sitoa le ho bua hoba o na sa lebella hore ngoanana eno a ka etsa joalo, ha ba mmona a maketse ba qalella ho mo ts'eha ene ba mo tse'eha hle, ke hore a soaba eaba ea ka ehlile o otluoe..hehehe
Mothoebe-chitja

Maseru, Lesotho

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#84
Feb 27, 2012
 
moshana emong oa haeso koana osa beha ntatae fats'e a mo joetsa hore,hela papa ke batla ho nyala nkhono,ntatae amo halefela are "u batla ho nyala 'me oaka,oa nyela hee".moshana a khutla a araba are "helang akere lewena u nyetse ;me waka?"

“Cogito ergo sum”

Since: Nov 10

Klerksdorp

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#85
Feb 27, 2012
 
dineo wrote:
<quoted text>
Somehting like thishappened live eseng joke fela kapa imagination.
A guy with his galfriend ba qabana strateng, ka busstop Maseru, auty ea betsa cheri ka clapa ea ba lla , ha e re hoa!! batho ba hetla ba sheba na keng, keha ngoanana a buela holimo a re "khale ke u joetsa hore ke tla u tlepentla, ua ntloaela he!" batho keha ba sheba auty ena joale a sitoa le ho bua hoba o na sa lebella hore ngoanana eno a ka etsa joalo, ha ba mmona a maketse ba qalella ho mo ts'eha ene ba mo tse'eha hle, ke hore a soaba eaba ea ka ehlile o otluoe..hehehe
hahaha, what a good comeback, ka tla ka qaboleha he.

“Cogito ergo sum”

Since: Nov 10

Klerksdorp

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#86
Feb 27, 2012
 
Two cannibals, a father and son, were sent by their tribe to go out
and get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and
waited behind a tree. After a while along came a little old man. The
son said,“Dad, there’s one.”
“No,” said the father.“There’s not enough meat on that one even
to feed the dogs. We’ll wait.”
A little while later, along came this really fat guy. The son said,
“Dad, let’s eat the bastard.”
“No,” the father said.“We’d all die of a heart attack from the
cholesterol in that one. We’ll wait.”
About an hour later, along comes this absolutely gorgeous
woman. The son said,“Now, there’s nothing wrong with that one,
dad. Let’s eat her.”
“No,” said the father.“We’ll not eat her either.”
“Why not?” asked the son.
“We’re going to take her back alive and eat your mother.”

“Cogito ergo sum”

Since: Nov 10

Klerksdorp

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#87
Feb 27, 2012
 
pastor!
Three nuns in church on a hot day decide to remove their robes
because of the heat. Not an unusual habit on a hot day. So about a
half hour later, the door bell rings while their robes are slumped
over pews clear across the huge chapel.
They ask who it is. "The blind man," a voice replies.
The three nuns decide to simply open the door because the man is
blind. He walks in, looks at the nuns and says, "Nice tits! Where do
you want me to install these blinds?"
monate

Cape Town, South Africa

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#88
Feb 28, 2012
 
little boy goes to his dad and asks,'What is Politics?' Dad says,'Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I am the head of the family , so call me The President. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government. We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People. The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we will... call him the Future. Now think about that and see if it makes sense.' So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the key- hole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy say's to his father,'Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.' The father says,'Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.' The little boy replies,'The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.

Since: Oct 10

United States

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#89
Feb 28, 2012
 
A chinese man get married to a Sotho lady.they
had a baby who unfortunatelly died in
4months.Gogo was very hurt at the funeral,
& kept on saying: Ke tsebile feela!Ppl at the
funeral asked her: Gogo, o tsebile eng jwale,
keng?
Gogo: Ntho tsa Machina ha di laste !mxm
Ausi Mala Moholu

United States

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#90
Feb 28, 2012
 
Nkhono une a ena le setloholo sa moshemane joale une a lutse a robala le eena, ebe ha setloholo se robetse u ne a rata ho se meta, ngoana a khathala ke ho besale a metioe eare ka tsatsi le leng nkhono asa robetse a shebisa libono ka ho nkhono, eitse nkhono ha a meta a utloa ho nkha eaba u ntse are"AKO ITSUKU-TSUKUNYE HLE NGOANA NGOANAKE. ka nako eo u ntse a tsoela pele ho mo meta

“stare with UNDRESS ME eyes”

Since: Apr 09

ur breath on my body

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#91
Feb 29, 2012
 
A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into Wal-Mart with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
The Wal-Mart Greeter, Paul Spangler , said pleasantly 'Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?' The
ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say,'Heck no they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9 and the other one's 7. Why the heck would you think
they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am,' replied Paul.'I just couldn't believe someone made love to you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.'

“stare with UNDRESS ME eyes”

Since: Apr 09

ur breath on my body

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#92
Feb 29, 2012
 
1) Bashin Mahlangu
Interviewer: Bashin how do you feel about scoring such a beautiful goal?
Mahlangu: I feel immediately!!!

2) The Late Lesley Manyathela.
This was an interview to get to know more about the player after an extended period of rich form:
Interviewer: So Lesley tell us about your family
Manyathela: I have one KIDS. I also have two brothers: There is one in front of me and one behind me.

3) Bhele Nomvete:
This interview took place after a game that took place on Bhele's birthday.
Interviewer: Firstly, Bhele we would just like to wish you a happy birthday.
Nomvete: Thank you, thank you, same to you

4) Steve Lekoelea
(a whole book can be written using amusing quotes from this player alone)
Interviewer: Steve you seem to have hit such a rich vein of form you also seem a lot fitter. What is your secret?
Lekoelea: In the morning I get up and I run away. This one is taking the cup

5) Steve Lekoelea
Interviewer: Steve you have just played an amazing game to help Pirates win, where to from here.
Lekoelea: I am going home.

6) Jabu Pule
Interviewer: Jabu, who do you think will host the 2014 soccer bid?
Jabu: Marks Maponyane

7) Peter Ndlovu
Interviewer: Peter those were three beautiful babies you put away behind the net. How do you feel?
Peter: Aah I am so ashamed, I just don't like it when these woman tell the whole world.

8) Mandoza....
Interviewer: Mandoza we have just received news that brenda fassie has passed away. how do you feel about such saddening news?
Mandoza: eish, my sister this is like a dream come true..
lejoe la Mosotho

Lesotho

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#93
Feb 29, 2012
 
pabala ya maluti wrote:
nna ke ihlokela karabo(in english) Mandela ke presidente ya bo kae ya motho e motsho South Africa??mfetolele yona plzz
Hotsoana le ha ke kare translate into English " o ngoana oa bokae heno?"

Since: Oct 10

United States

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#94
Mar 8, 2012
 
A boy calls metro fm & says:'i've found a purse with R15000, a red credit card
nd an I.D of Mrs Ram, New Road, Sandton
Radio dj responds:'hw honest. So u want 2 return her purse?
Boy:'HELL NO!
I jst wanted 2 dedicate a sad song 2 her: "Gante Jeso ona mpona

Since: Mar 12

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#95
Mar 8, 2012
 
ngoana a 'lemo tsenne o bona ntate'a hae a rota, aeba o mathela homme oa hae ah fihla ore" mme athe ntate ke ngoana 'amoshanyaana" mme oa hae are hobaneng, ngoana are ke mmone a rota a eme.

Since: May 11

Europe

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#96
Mar 8, 2012
 
Bongani jerozz wrote:
A boy calls metro fm & says:'i've found a purse with R15000, a red credit card
nd an I.D of Mrs Ram, New Road, Sandton
Radio dj responds:'hw honest. So u want 2 return her purse?
Boy:'HELL NO!
I jst wanted 2 dedicate a sad song 2 her: "Gante Jeso ona mpona
hihi... shame on her..!
oa manamela motho

Johannesburg, South Africa

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#98
Mar 12, 2012
 
Son:daddy why bill ea electricity for this month ele fatshe so?
Father:bring the bill let me see,daddy replies furiously,voetsek tsamo beea payslip eno eaka oa phapha hee.
rettezy

UK

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#99
Jul 11, 2012
 
Lol. Ai kwakwa wat a hurtin nyc jokin
My self

Europe

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#100
Jul 11, 2012
 
Ke le rometse Moshe, la etsa ka ena kamoo le ratang.
ka romela stefane, la motlepetsa ka majoe.
eaba Jesu la mothakhisa
eaba Leabuoa, la 'molaea ka lefu la pelo
eaba Mokhehle, la mohonya leihlo a ntse a phela
eaba mosisili, la moqosa ka bofebe
ke khathetse ke lona
ke le romelletse Thabane
LE TLO NYELA!!!
My self

Europe

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#101
Jul 12, 2012
 
This young man wants to cheat God, here he goes "God, i've heard that a thousand years is like a day to to you". God replies "to be more precise, a million years is like a second to me". The guys asks again, "God, i've even haerd that a thousand dollars is like a dollar to you". God said " to be more precise "a milliom dollars is like a penny to me".
the guys presses on. " God, would you please give me a penny?".
God replies " sure buddy, just give me 1 second".

“Cogito ergo sum”

Since: Nov 10

Klerksdorp

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#102
Jul 14, 2012
 
Dave was bragging to his boss one day,“You know, I know
everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.”

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff,“OK, Dave how
about Tom Cruise”?
“Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.” So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise’s door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts,“Dave! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!”

Although impressed, Dave’s boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise’s house, he tells Dave that he thinks Dave’s knowing Cruise was just lucky.
“No, no, just name anyone else,” Dave says.
“President Obama,” his boss quickly retorts.
“Yes,” Dave says,“I know him, let’s fly out to Washington.”
And off they go.

At the White House, Obama spots Dave on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying,“Dave, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let’s have a cup of coffee first and catch up.”
Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally
convinced.

After they leave the White House grounds, he expresses his doubts to Dave, who again implores him to name anyone else.
“The Pope,” his boss replies.
“Sure!” says Dave.“My folks are from Germany, and I’ve known the Pope a long time.”

So off they fly to Rome. Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Dave says,“This will never work. I can’t catch the Pope’s eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I’ll
come out on the balcony with the Pope,” and he disappears into
the crowd headed toward the Vatican.

Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
Working his way to his boss’ side, Dave asks him,“What
happened”?

His boss looks up and says,“I was doing fine until you and the
Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said,“Who the hell is that on the balcony with Dave”?

Since: Jul 12

Europe

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#103
Jul 14, 2012
 
lipistolo wrote:
Three sons left home to make their fortunes,
and they all did very, very well for themselves.
They got together recently and were discussing
what they each had done to benefit their aging
mother.
"Well," said the first one, "I bought Mom a
huge house in Sandton."
"I bought her a Mercedes and hired a full-time
driver for her."
"I've got you both beat," said the third. "I
bought her a miraculous parrot that can recite
any Bible verse you tell it to."
A little later, the mother sent out a thank you
letter to all three sons. "Gerald -- the house you
bought was too big. I only live in one room, but
I have to clean the entire house. Milton -- the
car is useless because I don't go anywhere
because I'm too old. But Robert -- you know
exactly what I like. The chicken was delicious."
kikikikikikiki ichu!

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