Laughter....the better medicine!!!

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“Ke phatsa ka siba la noko”

Since: Sep 07

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#326
Sep 16, 2007
 
A guy is walking down the street, sees a beautiful woman with a very short skirt, approaches her and says, ""My god, you're hot!!! I've GOT to make it with you! I can't help myself, and no matter what, I've GOT to have you!"" The woman is very shocked and asks him, ""What!? HERE? In the middle of the street!?""The guy answers, ""I've got to have you now! So I'll make you an offer.I'll drop R500 on the sidewalk and, while you're picking it up, I will do everything I want. OK?"" The lady seems to be in intense thought. Then she calls her friend.She tells her friend the story, looking for some advice. The friend says,""It's no big problem. When he drops the money, you pick up the R500 fast, and he won't even have time to get his fireman out of his pants before you finish picking it up. Just take the money and run!"" The next day, the friend sees the woman walking like an old woman.The friend asks, ""What happened to you!?""The woman answers nervously, ""That son-of-a-b*tch dropped R500 in 20 cent coins!""

“Heela ngoana!”

Since: Sep 07

Maseru

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#327
Sep 16, 2007
 
Schumacher wrote:
We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
1. After connecting to Internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware technician Mutale and he said that there is no problem in keyboard.

Ache shumacer oa seka ntena ngoana tooe!
Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****. I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.
2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the "Shut Down" button.
3. There is a button "Start" but there is no "Stop" button. We request you to check this.
4. We find there is "Run" in the menu. One of my friend clicked "Run" has run up to Luangwa . So, we request you to change that to "Sit", so that we can click that by sitting.
5. One doubt is that any "Re-Scooter" available in system? As I find only "Re-Cycle", but I own a scooter at my home.
6. There is "Find" button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this 'Find', but unable to trace. Is it a bug??
7. Every night I am not sleeping as I have to protect my "Mouse" from CAT,
So I suggest you to provide one DOG to kill that cat.
9. My child learnt "Microsoft Word" now he wants to learn "Microsoft Sentence", so when will U provide that?
Best regards,
####^*&&&(*&(* &(*&! OA se ke oa ntena ngoana tooe!

“Ke phatsa ka siba la noko”

Since: Sep 07

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#328
Sep 16, 2007
 
Teacher: Why did you bring your cat to school?
Johnny: Because I heard my sister's boyfriend say,
"TONIGHT I WILL EAT YOUR PU##Y".

“Ke phatsa ka siba la noko”

Since: Sep 07

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#329
Sep 16, 2007
 
I.T pro and his Wife
Husband:(Returning late from work) "Good Evening Dear, I`m now logged in."
Wife???: Have you brought the grocery?
Husband: Bad command or filename.
Wife???: But I told you in the morning!
Husband: Erroneous syntax. Abort?
Wife???: What about my new TV?
Husband: Variable not found ...
Wife???: At least, give me your Credit Card, I want to do some shopping.
Husband: Sharing Violation. Access denied...
Wife???: Do you love me or do you only love computers or are you just being funny?
Husband: Too many parameters...
Wife???: It was a great mistake that I married an idiot like you.
Husband: Data type mismatch.
Wife???: You are useless.
Husband: It`s by Default.
Wife???: What about your Salary?
Husband: File in use ... Try later.
Wife???: What is my value in the family.
Husband: Unknown Virus

“Ke phatsa ka siba la noko”

Since: Sep 07

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#330
Sep 16, 2007
 
Spikiri was caught stealing chickens from her neighbour, the
community
decided to take the law into their hands when he was caught stealing.
They beat him and tied him to a pole naked.

The man decided 2 take a pee. There were thirsty cows nearby.

As he urinated, this cow approached, & slowly sucked him, he said

"HAYI Kgomo, Kgomoo he e mane...! ako butle Kgomooo mane...! soka
Kgomoooo...!"! His tone changed as he climaxed & he said " Kgomz....!
Kgomza...! Kgomisto...! Kgomololo...! Kgomziro...!
Kgomaristo...!!! Kgomzozilala. As he was about to finish, the man
said
uuuuuuuu Kgomooooo tlhe..! Kgomo wa nrata kapa wang user!

“Ke phatsa ka siba la noko”

Since: Sep 07

Pentakonta

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#331
Sep 16, 2007
 

Judged:

1

1

POETRY BY A Motswana woman

Ao! Monna wa me ke senatla o rwele polo!
O rwele polo e kimakima e e boitshegang!
Ruri bokima jwa yone bo ka go tseisa sedidi,
Bokima jwa yone bo tshabiwa tota le ke matekatsi,
Matekatsi difebe tse di tona tswa kwa Hillbrow,
Ruri fa ke nagana ka yone ke tlhakana tlhogo!

Monna wa me fa a setse ka lepona o ka kgatlhega,
Mosadi! Ka re o ka ja monate fa o ka mmona a sa apara!
A sa apara a ntshitse tlhobolo e kgolo morwatlatla,
A ntshitse lebolobolo molelema segopa ka mpa,
Lebolobolo noga e e tlhoileng go gasiwa ka mmu,
Ka re a ntshitse polo kgolo marotela nnyo,
E mo imela e bile a pallwa ke go tsamaya,
Polo kgolo ya go ratwa ke banyana ba South Africa,
Polo kgolo ya maphatlhola nnyo le sebono,

Mosadi! Ka re o ka utlwa nnyo ya 'go e etlhame e pumpunyega ditete,
O ka utlwa nnyo ya 'go e nna metsi-metsi ebile e tshologa sopo,
Ka re o ka ithotela, ngwanyana, wa gasa panty ka metsi a masetlhana!

Monna wa me fa a nnyoba o a nkgonamisa,
O ntlhaba ka polo a mpotile ka fa morago,
Matswele a me a sale a lepelletse jaaka a sefebe,
Matlho a me one a gana go bulega ke bona dinaledi,
Ke kgoname ke ntshitse marago a makima-kima,
Ke tonositse ke butse nnyo yotlhe e le ruri!
Fa ke kgoname o ntlhaba ka polo ke sale ke bokolela,
Ke bokolela jaaka pere e lomilwe ke notshi mo sebonong,

Ke utlwa monate wa polo ebile ke tshologa ditete,
Ke utlwa ekete legadima le ratha mo teng ga nnyo ya me,
Ke utlwa ekete ke tshologa madi mo mokokotlong!

Monna wa me o ratha ka polo ga a tshameke le nnyo!
Ruri o tla go jesa monate o utlwe ekete o a tsenwa!
O tla go kgonamisa bosigo jotlhe a go thuba ka polo,
A go tlamparetse marago a hemela kwa godimo,
A go phaphatha ka polo a go pompa jaaka tonki,
Ebile a go butse marago ka diatla gore sebono se tlhajwe ke phefo!

Monna wa me fa a nkgonamisitse o ntlhakanya tlhogo!
O somela polo yotlhe mo nnyong go sale marete,
Sebete sa nnyo se sale se tlolatlola ka boitumelo,
Nnyo yone e tsenwe ke phefo e e monate ya December,
Ruri o ka swa ka ditshego fa o ka mpona ke kgoname,
Ke phinya ka nnyo ekete motho a letse a jele dinawa,
Nnyo e sale e le metsi-metsi e le 'tamo ya ditlwepe-tlwepe,
E bulegile, ebile e le khibidu jaaka dinko tsa pere!

Schumacher

Roma, Lesotho

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#332
Sep 16, 2007
 
South African Girls

If she is from Gauteng, ke GOR POL (GP).
Reason: Banyana ba Pitori le Josi ba rata go gora polo ha bohloko.
If she is from North West, ke NNYO WEE!(NW).
Reason: Banyana ba Mafikeng le Rustenburg ba fana ka nnyo hureee!
If she is from Mpumalanga, ke MAKOMETSA POLO (MP).
Reason: Banyana ba Nelspruit le Witbank ba tsenya polo(koma) deep mo molomong!
If she is from Free State, ke FAKA SAKA (FS).
Reason: Banyana ba Mangaung ba e tsenya mo molomong le mo nnyong polo!
If she is from KwaZulu Natal, ke ZAKA NYOKA (ZN).
Reason: Banyana ba Durban o ba nyoka ka zaka fela.
If she is from Eastern Cape, ke EZZY-ka-CHELETE (EC).
Reason: Banyana ba PE le Umtata ga ba tlela go tshameka mo Jozi ba rekisa sebono hureee!
If she is from Northern Cape, ke NNYO-e-CHEAP!(NC).
Reason: Banyana ba Kimberley ba tla go bolaisa nnyo ha o ka ba rekela 6 pack ya Black Label. That's all!!!
If she is from Limpopo Province, ke LOEA POL(LP).
Reason: O ba bone banyana ba Polokwane ba tla go loea o nnyele!
If she is from Western Cape, ke WINE AND CANABIS (WC).
Reason: Ba rata di-drugs le bojalwa banyana ba Cape Town!!!
Schumacher

Roma, Lesotho

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#333
Sep 16, 2007
 

Judged:

1

Family Affair
A black guy and a white man were sitting in the park. Thewhite man had a pet monkey and a black guy was selling bananas. So the black guy said "Mr. can u look after my bananas I am going to the toilet". "Oh yes go on ahead" said the white guy. When the black guy came back there were no more bananas and he is like "where are my bananas?" The white guy says, "ask your brother", pointing at his monkey. The black guy just chilled. Then the white guy said, "can u check out for your brother I am going to the toilet". The black guy says, "its cool". When the white
guy came back the monkey was dead and he is furious like what happened to my monkey!!!.
The black dude says "Mr. don't get involved it was a family affair!!"
Schumacher

Roma, Lesotho

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#334
Sep 16, 2007
 
Black Testicles

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.
A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse", he mumbles, from behind the mask. "Are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, are my testicles black?" Concerned that he may elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worry
about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles in the other. Then, she takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir!"
The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very closely......
A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k?
Mpale

Lesotho

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#335
Sep 17, 2007
 
Q. What is your name?
A. Ernestine McDowell.
Q. And what is your marital status?
A. Fair.
Oa Hukung

Lesotho

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#336
Sep 17, 2007
 
Mokotatsie wrote:
I.T pro and his Wife
Husband:(Returning late from work) "Good Evening Dear, I`m now logged in."
Wife???: Have you brought the grocery?
Husband: Bad command or filename.
Wife???: But I told you in the morning!
Husband: Erroneous syntax. Abort?
Wife???: What about my new TV?
Husband: Variable not found ...
Wife???: At least, give me your Credit Card, I want to do some shopping.
Husband: Sharing Violation. Access denied...
Wife???: Do you love me or do you only love computers or are you just being funny?
Husband: Too many parameters...
Wife???: It was a great mistake that I married an idiot like you.
Husband: Data type mismatch.
Wife???: You are useless.
Husband: It`s by Default.
Wife???: What about your Salary?
Husband: File in use ... Try later.
Wife???: What is my value in the family.
Husband: Unknown Virus
Ba u nka kae uena mokotatsie? Hele ua cha...
Oa Hukung

Lesotho

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#337
Sep 17, 2007
 
Mokotatsie wrote:
Spikiri was caught stealing chickens from her neighbour, the
community
decided to take the law into their hands when he was caught stealing.
They beat him and tied him to a pole naked.
The man decided 2 take a pee. There were thirsty cows nearby.
As he urinated, this cow approached, & slowly sucked him, he said
"HAYI Kgomo, Kgomoo he e mane...! ako butle Kgomooo mane...! soka
Kgomoooo...!"! His tone changed as he climaxed & he said " Kgomz....!
Kgomza...! Kgomisto...! Kgomololo...! Kgomziro...!
Kgomaristo...!!! Kgomzozilala. As he was about to finish, the man
said
uuuuuuuu Kgomooooo tlhe..! Kgomo wa nrata kapa wang user!
ke rata hona mabitso-bitsong a khomo mono...he he he he

Since: Jun 07

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#338
Sep 17, 2007
 
Mokotatsie wrote:
Spikiri was caught stealing chickens from her neighbour, the
community
decided to take the law into their hands when he was caught stealing.
They beat him and tied him to a pole naked.
The man decided 2 take a pee. There were thirsty cows nearby.
As he urinated, this cow approached, & slowly sucked him, he said
"HAYI Kgomo, Kgomoo he e mane...! ako butle Kgomooo mane...! soka
Kgomoooo...!"! His tone changed as he climaxed & he said " Kgomz....!
Kgomza...! Kgomisto...! Kgomololo...! Kgomziro...!
Kgomaristo...!!! Kgomzozilala. As he was about to finish, the man
said
uuuuuuuu Kgomooooo tlhe..! Kgomo wa nrata kapa wang user!
Hona ke classic!
ntose mpinanane

Lesotho

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#339
Sep 17, 2007
 
Ho hong ho ne ho ts'aba mookameli lebekebeke. Ka 'tsatsi le leng hoa opeloa ke hlooho ho le mosebetsing. Ke ho ts'aba ho kopa hoea treata hlooho, hoa thoba ho ea hae. Hoa fumana mookameli oa hona a ntse a e-ja mosali oa hona. Hoa qela ho leoto ho khutlela mosebetsing, hoa qoqela oa mphato oa hona:

"He monna, boss o batlile a mpatreka ke dodgile mosebetsing"

"O na le kae?"

"Ha ka monna"

"A etsang ha hau?"

"O ntsa kota mosali oa ka monna, ka se ke ka matha monna!"
Zabbieha

Erith, UK

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#340
Sep 17, 2007
 
A young girl sees her father in the shower and asks what his testicles are,'Those are the Apples of the tree of life',he tells her by way of poetic concealment.
The young girl tells her mother who then replies,'Did he say anything about that dead branch they're hanging on?'
Mafifi-fokothi

Roma, Lesotho

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#341
Sep 17, 2007
 
seponono- ngoana ea nang le sepono se seholo.
Masisapelo- khomo e sisang haholo.
Nyekoe- lijo tse nyekoang ha li jeoa. e.g ice cream.
Mokakallane- motho ea kakang a ntse a lla.
Mpale

Lesotho

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#342
Sep 17, 2007
 
Mafifi-fokothi wrote:
seponono- ngoana ea nang le sepono se seholo.
Masisapelo- khomo e sisang haholo.
Nyekoe- lijo tse nyekoang ha li jeoa. e.g ice cream.
Mokakallane- motho ea kakang a ntse a lla.
Ke rata mokakallane
Mpale

Lesotho

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#343
Sep 17, 2007
 
Prospective Juror: Judge, I would like to be excused from jury duty because my wife is about to become pregnant. Attorney: Judge, he doesn't mean his wife is about to become pregnant; he means she is about to deliver. Judge: He may be excused. In either case he should be present.
Mpale

Lesotho

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#344
Sep 17, 2007
 
A site foreman had ten very lazy men working for him, so one day he decided to trick them into doing some work for a change. "I've got a really easy job today for the laziest one among you," he announced. "Will the laziest man please put his hand up?" Nine hands went up. "Why didn't you put your hand up?" he asked the tenth man.
"Too much trouble," came the reply.
Mpale

Lesotho

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#345
Sep 17, 2007
 
"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, sir," the new recruit replied. "Well, then, that makes verything just fine ... " the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you."

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