abuti matutu

South Africa

#1 Jun 25, 2011
Ke kopa dikeletso mona: what are the negative challenges of being a stepfather to a girl or a boy child? Advice please....

“Cogito ergo sum”

Since: Nov 10

Klerksdorp

#2 Jun 25, 2011
How many lists do you want?

For starters, if you're seemingly not doing enough the child may say its because you dont love them enough as they are not your child and if you are showing enough love they may dislike that and say you're trying to be their father, esp if the biological father isn't playing his part. Good luck, you'll need it!
abuti matutu

South Africa

#3 Jun 25, 2011
Moleko-o-dieta wrote:
How many lists do you want?

For starters, if you're seemingly not doing enough the child may say its because you dont love them enough as they are not your child and if you are showing enough love they may dislike that and say you're trying to be their father, esp if the biological father isn't playing his part. Good luck, you'll need it!
Exactly. From that angle. I really don't want to make it or feel like I am "buying" relationship with the child. It's a girl. It feels like mountEverest.
abuti matutu

South Africa

#4 Jun 25, 2011
Moleko ke rata angle eo o etsayang. Ke ngoanana and it feels like mount everest. I don't want to buy relationship with the child you see

“Cogito ergo sum”

Since: Nov 10

Klerksdorp

#5 Jun 26, 2011
abuti matutu wrote:
<quoted text>
Exactly. From that angle. I really don't want to make it or feel like I am "buying" relationship with the child. It's a girl. It feels like mountEverest.
If you had specific questions I might have specific suggestions Matutu. But there are a few golden rules.

Forget biology, if you could love, treat and see her as your daughter as much as possible you'll both be better off. So do exactly as you would your own daughter, be firm and don't pass issues to your partner unless they are womanly stuff. She's a child and entitled to make mistakes so don't let emotions cloud your judgement when she rebels. Be the caring father but never try to replace the biological one.

Daughters need and have very special relationships with their fathers, if you can build this relationship of mutual love, understanding and care then you'll avoid a lot of problems and it'll be easier to deal with issues when they arise.

“being in love is so good.”

Since: Jul 11

Nna le motho waka.

#6 Oct 11, 2011
Moleko-o-dieta wrote:
<quoted text>If you had specific questions I might have specific suggestions Matutu. But there are a few golden rules.
Forget biology, if you could love, treat and see her as your daughter as much as possible you'll both be better off. So do exactly as you would your own daughter, be firm and don't pass issues to your partner unless they are womanly stuff. She's a child and entitled to make mistakes so don't let emotions cloud your judgement when she rebels. Be the caring father but never try to replace the biological one.
Daughters need and have very special relationships with their fathers, if you can build this relationship of mutual love, understanding and care then you'll avoid a lot of problems and it'll be easier to deal with issues when they arise.
Hmmm well said.

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