Nubian Queen

UK

#1 Jun 15, 2012
If your daughter got pregnant at 12 years old would you insist on her terminating the pregnancy?

Rationale for your response and decision please!!
Blacktigershark

Edmonton, Canada

#2 Jun 15, 2012
Nubian Queen wrote:
If your daughter got pregnant at 12 years old would you insist on her terminating the pregnancy?
Rationale for your response and decision please!!
Depends under what situation the daughter got pregnant under...
Nubian Queen

UK

#3 Jun 16, 2012
Blacktigershark wrote:
<quoted text>
Depends under what situation the daughter got pregnant under...
Any situation BTS!!
Blacktigershark

Edmonton, Canada

#4 Jun 16, 2012
Nubian Queen wrote:
<quoted text>
Any situation BTS!!
Well, I don't have a daughter, so I would only be speaking on how I would attempt to resolve this situation, Nubian Queen.

When I say that it depends on the situation, there are a lot of factors that come into play. Was my daughter raped? Does my daughter want the child? Does the father of my potential grandchild want the child? Is the child healthy, or is the child likely to be born with severe ailments? How far along is my daughter? Would it be right for me to allow my daughter to have an abortion if it is simply out of convenience, and for no other reason but that? Is my daughter capable of taking a child to term, and being able to bear children, without any risk to her? Do the laws where I live allow my daughter to make her own choices? Is abortion even legal in the community where I live? This is what I meant by situations, Nubian Queen!

As for me, I cannot say that I would like the idea of just letting my daughter have an abortion out of convenience only. I don't know if I would adopt my own grandchild, as I believe that given the situation, it may be a way of enabling my daughter's acts. If I thought that there was a worry about my daughter or the fetus/child, I would likely be more in favour of abortion, to save my daughter, or to save my potential grandchild from a life of suffering. If my daughter was raped, I would let my daughter provide me her input on becoming a possible mother, though I would more likely be in favour of abortion if my daughter couldn't live with the fact of having to take a child to term, as a constant reminder of her rape. Again, this is just some of my thoughts, though I can't completely tell you what I would do in this instance, and what the situation would be, if I had a daughter that was pregnant, and even if I was legally allowed to make a decision on behalf of my daughter, or if abortion is even legal where I am situated with my daughter, Nubian Queen...does that help explain my position on this matter, Nubian Queen?

Maybe other posters have their own positions on this question...anyone else care to give their input?
Miss Eva

United States

#5 Jun 16, 2012
Blacktigershark wrote:
<quoted text>
Well, I don't have a daughter, so I would only be speaking on how I would attempt to resolve this situation, Nubian Queen.
When I say that it depends on the situation, there are a lot of factors that come into play. Was my daughter raped? Does my daughter want the child? Does the father of my potential grandchild want the child? Is the child healthy, or is the child likely to be born with severe ailments? How far along is my daughter? Would it be right for me to allow my daughter to have an abortion if it is simply out of convenience, and for no other reason but that? Is my daughter capable of taking a child to term, and being able to bear children, without any risk to her? Do the laws where I live allow my daughter to make her own choices? Is abortion even legal in the community where I live? This is what I meant by situations, Nubian Queen!
As for me, I cannot say that I would like the idea of just letting my daughter have an abortion out of convenience only. I don't know if I would adopt my own grandchild, as I believe that given the situation, it may be a way of enabling my daughter's acts. If I thought that there was a worry about my daughter or the fetus/child, I would likely be more in favour of abortion, to save my daughter, or to save my potential grandchild from a life of suffering. If my daughter was raped, I would let my daughter provide me her input on becoming a possible mother, though I would more likely be in favour of abortion if my daughter couldn't live with the fact of having to take a child to term, as a constant reminder of her rape. Again, this is just some of my thoughts, though I can't completely tell you what I would do in this instance, and what the situation would be, if I had a daughter that was pregnant, and even if I was legally allowed to make a decision on behalf of my daughter, or if abortion is even legal where I am situated with my daughter, Nubian Queen...does that help explain my position on this matter, Nubian Queen?
Maybe other posters have their own positions on this question...anyone else care to give their input?
Wow, this is a tough one! I guess one of the factors that must be weighed is this: Will your daughter be able to "live" with the decision to abort? It's one thing to say, "OK, I'll abort," but has anyone discussed with her whether she can live with that decision? Does she want to abort?

I agree with BTS, that some situations seem to lend themselves to abortion, i.e. rape, health issues. But even in those situations, the girl will still have to live with the decision.

This might be a situation that could benefit from psychosocial counseling for both the girl and her parents. And I pray nobody starts blaming anybody else. Placing blame does not really resolve any issues surrounding the problem.

I believe this is what happens when we do not talk with our children about sex and they begin to practice without us knowing or having any input because they are afraid of what we might say or do. They instead seek guidance from their peers who oftentimes are not practicing safe sex and who may not know any more about the subject than the person they are consulting with does.

Here in the U.S., at 12 years old, you're still considered a minor and decisions concerning your well being are left to your parents to make. Whether the parents decide to allow the abortion or disallow the abortion, just be ready to live with the consequences which could be very serious.
Miss Eva

United States

#6 Jun 16, 2012
Nubian Queen wrote:
If your daughter got pregnant at 12 years old would you insist on her terminating the pregnancy?
Rationale for your response and decision please!!
If mom "insists" on her 12 year old daughter terminating the pregnancy, but her daughter wants to have the baby, the daughter will probably end up calling mom a murderer and hating her for ruining her life and killing her baby.

NQ, I know this sounds really harsh, but it really is the way some girls would react. And if the girl does react in this way, it might make her mother feel guilty.

How will mom feel if the girl starts telling other people, "my mother killed my baby"? I hope that does not happen, but let's face it, it is possible the girl might do this and it might cause folks to view the mom as "the daughter of the devil."

If mom insists on abortion and the girl does not want to abort, and the girl tells the father of the baby about the pregnancy, does he have the right to weigh in on whether the abortion takes place? What if he wants to build a family with the girl?

Mom might feel like at 12, the girl is not ready to begin building a family, but some girls are really mature and have had so many different experiences that they could handle building a family.

If her body is not developed enough for pregnancy, she will probably most likely not carry the baby to term. But in the old days, people used to get married at 12, 13, 14 and begin families, and it was considered a normal age to begin building a family.

But if mom insists on the abortion, then she should prepare herself for facing the consequences of making that decision.

I guess at the end of the day, the girl is her daughter and mom will do her best to make the right decision for her daughter's health, safety and future.
Nubian Queen

UK

#7 Jun 17, 2012
Blacktigershark wrote:
<quoted text>
Well, I don't have a daughter, so I would only be speaking on how I would attempt to resolve this situation, Nubian Queen.
When I say that it depends on the situation, there are a lot of factors that come into play. Was my daughter raped? Does my daughter want the child? Does the father of my potential grandchild want the child? Is the child healthy, or is the child likely to be born with severe ailments? How far along is my daughter? Would it be right for me to allow my daughter to have an abortion if it is simply out of convenience, and for no other reason but that? Is my daughter capable of taking a child to term, and being able to bear children, without any risk to her? Do the laws where I live allow my daughter to make her own choices? Is abortion even legal in the community where I live? This is what I meant by situations, Nubian Queen!
As for me, I cannot say that I would like the idea of just letting my daughter have an abortion out of convenience only. I don't know if I would adopt my own grandchild, as I believe that given the situation, it may be a way of enabling my daughter's acts. If I thought that there was a worry about my daughter or the fetus/child, I would likely be more in favour of abortion, to save my daughter, or to save my potential grandchild from a life of suffering. If my daughter was raped, I would let my daughter provide me her input on becoming a possible mother, though I would more likely be in favour of abortion if my daughter couldn't live with the fact of having to take a child to term, as a constant reminder of her rape. Again, this is just some of my thoughts, though I can't completely tell you what I would do in this instance, and what the situation would be, if I had a daughter that was pregnant, and even if I was legally allowed to make a decision on behalf of my daughter, or if abortion is even legal where I am situated with my daughter, Nubian Queen...does that help explain my position on this matter, Nubian Queen?
Maybe other posters have their own positions on this question...anyone else care to give their input?
Thank you so much BTS..
Nubian Queen

UK

#8 Jun 17, 2012
Blacktigershark wrote:
<quoted text>
Well, I don't have a daughter, so I would only be speaking on how I would attempt to resolve this situation, Nubian Queen.
When I say that it depends on the situation, there are a lot of factors that come into play. Was my daughter raped? Does my daughter want the child? Does the father of my potential grandchild want the child? Is the child healthy, or is the child likely to be born with severe ailments? How far along is my daughter? Would it be right for me to allow my daughter to have an abortion if it is simply out of convenience, and for no other reason but that? Is my daughter capable of taking a child to term, and being able to bear children, without any risk to her? Do the laws where I live allow my daughter to make her own choices? Is abortion even legal in the community where I live? This is what I meant by situations, Nubian Queen!
As for me, I cannot say that I would like the idea of just letting my daughter have an abortion out of convenience only. I don't know if I would adopt my own grandchild, as I believe that given the situation, it may be a way of enabling my daughter's acts. If I thought that there was a worry about my daughter or the fetus/child, I would likely be more in favour of abortion, to save my daughter, or to save my potential grandchild from a life of suffering. If my daughter was raped, I would let my daughter provide me her input on becoming a possible mother, though I would more likely be in favour of abortion if my daughter couldn't live with the fact of having to take a child to term, as a constant reminder of her rape. Again, this is just some of my thoughts, though I can't completely tell you what I would do in this instance, and what the situation would be, if I had a daughter that was pregnant, and even if I was legally allowed to make a decision on behalf of my daughter, or if abortion is even legal where I am situated with my daughter, Nubian Queen...does that help explain my position on this matter, Nubian Queen?
Maybe other posters have their own positions on this question...anyone else care to give their input?
Thank you so much for your input!!
Nubian Queen

UK

#9 Jun 17, 2012
Miss Eva wrote:
<quoted text>
If mom "insists" on her 12 year old daughter terminating the pregnancy, but her daughter wants to have the baby, the daughter will probably end up calling mom a murderer and hating her for ruining her life and killing her baby.
NQ, I know this sounds really harsh, but it really is the way some girls would react. And if the girl does react in this way, it might make her mother feel guilty.
How will mom feel if the girl starts telling other people, "my mother killed my baby"? I hope that does not happen, but let's face it, it is possible the girl might do this and it might cause folks to view the mom as "the daughter of the devil."
If mom insists on abortion and the girl does not want to abort, and the girl tells the father of the baby about the pregnancy, does he have the right to weigh in on whether the abortion takes place? What if he wants to build a family with the girl?
Mom might feel like at 12, the girl is not ready to begin building a family, but some girls are really mature and have had so many different experiences that they could handle building a family.
If her body is not developed enough for pregnancy, she will probably most likely not carry the baby to term. But in the old days, people used to get married at 12, 13, 14 and begin families, and it was considered a normal age to begin building a family.
But if mom insists on the abortion, then she should prepare herself for facing the consequences of making that decision.
I guess at the end of the day, the girl is her daughter and mom will do her best to make the right decision for her daughter's health, safety and future.
Thank you!!
Blacktigershark

Edmonton, Canada

#10 Jun 17, 2012
Nubian Queen wrote:
<quoted text>
Thank you so much for your input!!
What would be your response to your own question, Nubian Queen?
Nubian Queen

UK

#11 Jun 17, 2012
Blacktigershark wrote:
<quoted text>
What would be your response to your own question, Nubian Queen?
The choice would be my daughters. If she wanted to terminate the pregnancy i would support her and if she decided to keep the baby i would also support her.

May be reduce my working hours so she could continue with her education!!

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