understanding honduran women

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isthmus

AOL

#1 Nov 11, 2006
HONDURAS IS A STRANGE COUNTRY IN A GOOD BUT WIERD WAY. I DONT KNOW WERE TO BEGIN. BUT BEING HONDURAN MYSELF AND TRYING TO UNDERSTAND THE WOMEN OF HONDURAS.. ITS A DIFFICULT COMPLEX, I HAVE BEEN FORTUNATE TO HAVE DATED SOME BEAUTIFUL WOMEN THERE. BUT THE RELATIONSHIP DOESNT LAST LONG BECAUSE LONG DISTANCE. I LIVE IN THE STATES... BUT WHEN I GO BACK TO THE STATES THE ONLY THING I REMEBER ARE THOSE WOMEN I HAVE DATED... I MAY HAVE LOST SOMEONE BECAUSE I LET MY FEELINGS OUT OF THE WAY THE WRONG WAY.. SO ITS A LEARNING EXAMPLE THAT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH... FOR THAT PERSON WHO I MAY HURT IN WORDS, IAM TRULY SORRY FOR MY ACTIONS AND YOU MAY NOT FORGIVE ME.. I WISH I CAN TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID BUT NOW ITS PROBABLY LATE NOW.. I STILL THINK OF YOU AND REMEBER THE MOMMENTS WE HAD TOGTHER THRU GOOD AND BAD.. I WILL ALWAYS REMEBER YOU NOW AND FOREVER...
victim of love

Toronto, Canada

#2 Nov 16, 2006
I have the totally opposite experience from you. I had been dating a Honduras man for 2 years long distance and I travel to visit him 4 times a year and I finally think it's time to pop the question of asking him to visit me in the USA to see if he likes it so that we could tie the knot. That ended our relationship. He has nodesire to leave Honduras and I have a carreer, a house and everything to offer him a much better life and he turn them all down. I even offer to sponsor all his children from all other women he fathered. He asked me what is my intention. I cried as I had never encounter such twisted scenerio before. Is this a cultural issue ???? Or perhaps when something too good to be true makes them think twice ??? Just hated myself for wasting 2 precious years of my life on a Honduras man. Still love him alot !
Gil

Goshen, CA

#3 Nov 17, 2006
I am married to a young Honduran woman, many years younger than I. Everyone in my family says I made a major mistake, but I have sponsored her for a visa. Once she gets here she will be my total responsibility. Now I am beginning to wonder whether it would turn out to be a tragedy for both of us. Several people have told me it is very common for young Honduran women to marry older American guys and then "unload" them when they get up here to the land of golden opportunity. Comments?
victim of love

Toronto, Canada

#4 Nov 20, 2006
It's too late to doubt,isn't it ? Just be smart, consult a lawyer how to protect your wealth and property in case the worse happens. Now that you are legally married, she is entitled to your assets under the matrimonial law. There are also some happy endings that I've seen but 80% used a "gringo" to get their green cards and leave. Most already have lovers illegally in the USA. You must have a good feeling about this young girl before you decided to marry her. You don't just marry a stranger and bring her home. Follow your gut feeling and be cautious. Observe and go and visit her unannounced and see what you can find out. Talk to neighbours and people in the town and do a background check about her past ask yourself why she fell in love with you. Do you have anything in common ? How does she behave with you in the public ? Does she show you any affection or embarrass to be seen with you in the public ? These are things you should have observed before you marry a person so much younger. If in doubt, put a stop to the visa application if you have doubts. It's not a tragedy for both of you if she has motive. Good luck !
Go with your heart

Berlin, WI

#5 Nov 26, 2006
I am married to a young Honduran woman, many years younger than I. Everyone in my family says I made a major mistake, but I have sponsored her for a visa. Once she gets here she will be my total responsibility. Now I am beginning to wonder whether it would turn out to be a tragedy for both of us. Several people have told me it is very common for young Honduran women to marry older American guys and then "unload" them when they get up here to the land of golden opportunity. Comments?[I am married to a Honduran women and have taken on three step-son's as my own. My wife was already in the states but we have been married for almost six years. She has had her green card for nearly 3 years and has not run away! LOL Not all women from other countries are gold diggers. My advice is to go with your heart/gut and not listen to the advice of your family. Although they most likely have good intentions, their first instinct is to protect you and may not keep an open mind. I don't know your whole situation with your wife but it always makes sense to protect your finances anyway. In my case, when we were married I didn't have much. We have built everything together. If you would like you can email me at oyd29@yahoo.com with any concerns or questions. What city in Honduras is she from?]
Go with your heart

Berlin, WI

#6 Nov 26, 2006
I am married to a Honduran women and have taken on three step-son's as my own. My wife was already in the states but we have been married for almost six years. She has had her green card for nearly 3 years and has not run away! LOL Not all women from other countries are gold diggers. My advice is to go with your heart/gut and not listen to the advice of your family. Although they most likely have good intentions, their first instinct is to protect you and may not keep an open mind. I don't know your whole situation with your wife but it always makes sense to protect your finances anyway. In my case, when we were married I didn't have much. We have built everything together. If you would like you can email me at oyd29@yahoo.com with any concerns or questions. What city in Honduras is she from?]
Gabriel Lopez

Apo, AE

#7 Nov 28, 2006
I in turn have been traveling to Honduras for the past 5 years to see "my girl". I am also successful, single with a good job and live in Texas, but she does not want to commit to a long term relationship. What gives? I could live in Honduras but the a U.S. offers more opportunities for her children than Honduras does, I don't understand.
victim of love wrote:
I have the totally opposite experience from you. I had been dating a Honduras man for 2 years long distance and I travel to visit him 4 times a year and I finally think it's time to pop the question of asking him to visit me in the USA to see if he likes it so that we could tie the knot. That ended our relationship. He has nodesire to leave Honduras and I have a carreer, a house and everything to offer him a much better life and he turn them all down. I even offer to sponsor all his children from all other women he fathered. He asked me what is my intention. I cried as I had never encounter such twisted scenerio before. Is this a cultural issue ???? Or perhaps when something too good to be true makes them think twice ??? Just hated myself for wasting 2 precious years of my life on a Honduras man. Still love him alot !
isthmus

AOL

#8 Dec 2, 2006
Gabriel Lopez wrote:
I in turn have been traveling to Honduras for the past 5 years to see "my girl". I am also successful, single with a good job and live in Texas, but she does not want to commit to a long term relationship. What gives? I could live in Honduras but the a U.S. offers more opportunities for her children than Honduras does, I don't understand.<quoted text>
well, gabe the problem is that maybe she is afraid to come to the states she probably dont have family in the states if things dont go well she will fill alone without no help or etc.... she feels comfortable in honduras she's use to her life in honduras its slow pace enviorment.. iam a honduran man who has live 90% of my life in the states but i was born in honduras and when couple decades later and let me tell you iam very happy man i have the best of both worlds i have due citzenship us and honduras.. when i meet honduran women in honduras they like the idea that iam 1st honduran by blood and 2nd that i can travel broadly to both country's i have no restrictions i can stay as lonf as i want to in honduras and still go back to the states... i love honduras women the are the most beautiful in the world to me since iam a honduran man... i have been blessed to have been in good company of honduran women.. but there is maybe 2 women who i very much care for and they both have told me that they would love to spend the rest of there lives with me. one is 23 years old and the other is 27years old... i have no problem at all meeting beautiful women thru out the whole country of honduras.. give you example i have 3 ladies in tegucigalpa, 1 tela 2 copan ruins 2 la ceiba i roatan just to name a few.. it helps to be honduran to maybe too, iam a successful business person in the states but whenever i get a chance to go back to my beloved country honduras i grab the opportunity and run with it knowing that i have one paticular lady friend waiting for me in tegucigalpa who is mostly in my heart the othere ones just my friends. i plan making my life with this one she means everything to me.. so gabe to answere your ? why she dont wont to commit to you in the states if i were a betting man i would say that you are not honduran.. so maybe just think about that, iam not insulting you iam just saying that might be the problem by itself.. i never had that problem with the women of honduras i ahve asked out of curiousty that would you start a new life with me in the states and they all said yes... i hope i was able to help answere your own? good luck i hope you are able to bring that honduran woman to the states to be with you!!!!
Daemyon

Gifhorn, Germany

#9 Dec 9, 2006
It's not a problem if you treat the people you meet with the same level of trust you use in a business deal. Marriage(and dating, for that matter) are business deals, though the heart is initially involved. Often times, men especially seem to forget that we are providing a service as well as trying to choose a life mate, and that once we sign the papers for a marriage license, we are bound by law to not only protect, support and care for that person's physical and emotional well-being, but to put up with whatever petty foibles they may display after the lust and infatuation have long since worn off. That's why women in positions of financial authority often times have the men they are getting married to sign a pre-nuptual agreement; they realize that when the love goes south, the comfort they receive from being financially intact may be the sole feeling of control they have remaining!
I won't give you any horror stories to bolster my position; I'll just leave it at saying you really should think in terms of legal agreement. Once you realize that a marriage certificate doesn't guarantee anything EXCEPT legal responsibility, you have to ask what the lady is bringing to the table. If youth, beauty and sexual favors are it for her, what will you do when these are either withdrawn or become obsolete? Your position stays the same and will be seen as negotiable compensation for her 'troubles' when she has what she may have come for all along. Have fun, but stay safe!
kiami

AOL

#10 Jan 3, 2007
I have this friend here in the states that has a cousin??? who is in honduras that really wants to get married and come to the states. This is an arranged marriage but i dont want to do it if it will only be one sided.

I dont mind helping those less fortunate and marriage is a relationship between to indiviuals. But I have my reservations about legal issues, how long do I remain married to him. I just need/want help from someone who appreciates the better life. Men here in the state are stuck up and dont want me. Im tired of being alone and want to be married but not sure about getting married this way. What the hell is wrong with me???
jordan

Espinho, Portugal

#11 Jan 20, 2007
i need your tips and advice about honduran society and dating.
first i would like to tell you that i am jordan from italy
-well, is it true that honduran girls prefer date and marry with older men ?
i am talking about age gap
-how is the dating in honduras?
i chat with a lot of girls from there but i think the traditional girls do not use internet (Smile) because i only met scammers or bargirls.

another thing i have read thet in honduras there is 3 types of marriage, like civil , religious and union legal. so i think that is why there is a lot of single mother in honduras. they said they were not married but thet sign papers.
-why is so popular, legal union like marriage in honduras, catholic country?
ănd last question
is it safe to visit honduras? like la ceiba, san pedro de sula
SAP

AOL

#12 Jan 29, 2007
kiami wrote:
I have this friend here in the states that has a coLFusin??? who is in honduras that really wants to get married and come to the states. This is an arranged marriage but i dont want to do it if it will only be one sided.
I dont mind helping those less fortunate and marriage is a relationship between to indiviuals. But I have my reservations about legal issues, how long do I remain married to him. I just need/want help from someone who appreciates the better life. Men here in the state are stuck up and dont want me. Im tired of being alone and want to be married but not sure about getting married this way. What the hell is wrong with me???
I READ YOUR E-MAIL IAM SORRY YOU ARE HAVING BAD LUCK. IAM FROM HONDURAS AND ITS HARD TO FIND HONDURAN WOMAN IN MY AREA I LIVE SMALL TOWN IN CALIFORNIA.. MOST WOMAN IN CA ARE MEXICAN WICH IS NICE BUT I LOVE HONDURAS WOMAN.. I WOULD LIKE TO GET TO KNOW YOU BETTER.. WRITE BACK IF YOU GET THIS.. SAP SNA PEDRO SULA..
Alex

San Pedro Sula, Honduras

#13 Feb 3, 2007
Hi. There are nearly 7 million people living in Honduras, half of them are women. Saying that ALL honduran girls like to date older men would just be another stereotype. So, for your first question, a honduran women will date an older man for one of two reasons (or perhaps both)
1. Because the older man will provide her a secure environment (financially, etc(
2. Because she really feels comfortable living with that man. She loves that man.
I am honduran myself, and to be honest, I find honduran women very naive, even if they've had many bad dating experiences. For some reason, they believe a lot in love, and the pursuit of happiness. I think that is particularly true for all hondurans, men and women...but mostly for girls. However, there's the other type of honduran women - the one who will date you just for the sake of having a man who will provide her with a secure environment (like I mentioned before), and not necesarily for love. One can use the term "gold digger" but I don't think honduran women will take away ALL your belongings. But this can vary from case to case. So, take your precautions, just like you were dating a girl from a culture you already know.
Dating is a very important step of an amorous relationship. It always precedes to marriage. This is, a typical honduran women:
1. will go out with you and do things you both enjoy,
2. Then, if things get better, and the relationship is getting stronger, she may ask you to meet her parents.
3. She will then assume that you both will get marry in the near future.
Sexual activity might take place if the girl feels the relationship is solid. However, it should be noted that sex in non-marital relationships is not well seen in the conservative religious honduran society. I'm not saying that you shouldn't do it, or that hondurans don't do it, I'm just saying that everyone will expect you to not do it until you are married to the girl.
Honduran girls rarely, very rarely use internet for dating purposes. Why? Because they have very high chances of meeting people out at a restaurant, bar, mall, or any other public space...even in the street. People here have a lot of interaction, in person. The society is not so individualistic, for good or for bad. So, in economic terms, investing one hour in front of the computer trying to find a date will yield zero compared to the amount of people they will meet if they go out of their homes.
Legal union, the state in which both partners live together without any marriage legal arrangements, is quite popular in Honduras. This question is particularly interesting, and my gut feeling is that machismo and lack of money for paperwork, might well be the two major reasons why many hondurans [most of them in rural areas] do not get married before starting a life as a couple. This is quite intriguing considering the religiousness of people in this country.
Visting honduras is just like visiting any other country in the third world. It is just like traveling in some parts of the US, like New Orleans or Miami, or LA. Just take your precautions, be a smart traveler, and try to inform yourself before your departure. Just think that you won't be the only foreign citizen traveling across the coutntry -there are many tourists visiting these days - and you might even find a nice surprise at the end of your journey. Good luck and have fun!
Alex

San Pedro Sula, Honduras

#14 Feb 3, 2007
Hi "Victim of love". Firstly, let me say that I am sorry to hear about your bad experience with the guy from Honduras who you were dating. My feeling is that there might have been several variables that led him to the decision of ending the relationship. I think, and this is a difficult one...he may have had another women here in the country. I don't want to sound harsh, but that may be one possibility that I'm sure you already thought about. The other, is that, the guy doesn't want to leave because he is quite comfortable here. Why travel somewhere else if he is already enjoying life here? But you know the conditions in which he is. You know his personality.

The only thing I can say, is that, perhaps, at the end, he did something that benefited both of you - ending the relationship. I know is hard, but why to spend your life with someone who does not want to be there for you? It is up to you know, to think that you've wasted or not those two years. If I were you, I would be optimistic, and think that I learned a lot during the relationship, even if you didn't end with the guy. So cheer up...there's no time to waste...there might be thousands of man who will appreciate and accept you just like you are. And I am very sure that if you give yourself the opportunity, you will be happier than you are now. I speak from experience.
Max

Irvine, CA

#15 Feb 17, 2007
Gil wrote:
I am married to a young Honduran woman, many years younger than I. Everyone in my family says I made a major mistake, but I have sponsored her for a visa. Once she gets here she will be my total responsibility. Now I am beginning to wonder whether it would turn out to be a tragedy for both of us. Several people have told me it is very common for young Honduran women to marry older American guys and then "unload" them when they get up here to the land of golden opportunity. Comments?
Please don't see me as a bad man; just telling you my story. I am living with a Guatemalan girl of 22 years old. She was sponsored here by a gringo husband 45 years of age. As soon as she landed in Los Angeles,california, she began to be bored with him and missed being with someone who could speak Spanish to her. I met this girl and she started an affair with me. She also had several lovers before she met me while living with this gringo.

Anyway, she and I finally decided to live together and we have been for 1 year now. She unloaded the gringo who is very upst over the ordeal.

If I were you, I'd be very careful. The age disparity can be a problem since these women are very sexual and need attention. They don't want to be stuck in the house tending to you all day. They want to go out and dance salsa, be entertained and made to feel beautiful and they need to be made love to everyday...and not a quickie; a long all night session.

The language barrier is also a huge problem. You need to speak to her in close to fluent spanish as possible. Assuming you speak good spanish if you are a gringo..you need to quickly make contact with her parents and siblings via Spanish and make yourself known. Go down there and visit her in her pueblo.

This affirms that you "are the man" and her parents and siblings will put pressure on her to stay faithful to you and she will also be pressured not to screw around down there when the whole village knows you are her "man".

You can ignore my advice or take the insider scoop from a real live homewrecker who is trying to make ammends.
victim of love

Toronto, Canada

#16 Feb 19, 2007
Dear Alex,

I thank you very much for your input and I really appreciate it coming form a Honduras man. Since I last posted my problem, I am back in contact with my lover again.We love each other and we are in our 40's and not playing games I think. He told me he loves me but he need some time to sort out his life and children. He is seperared from his wife 20 years ago and he fathered 2 children, one 16 years ago and another 7 years ago with 2 women. He told me they are not his wife but mother of his children. He maintains the child support and sees them whenever he can or feels like. He never lied to me and he told upfront and asked me not to worry as these happened years ago. The only thing he needs to do is to divorce his wife if we want to get marry. I somehow touched him with my sincere love and he told me we should see each other again in Honduras in April. I am very confused after reading what you had explained. Does this mean that he actually has 1 legal wife and 2 more not marrying them ? What if he dies, who gets to claim they are his wife in order to claim his body and pension ? I am very confuse as how am I suppose to know if this woman who last had a child with him is consider to be his wife # 3 under the law ? Whenever I visit him, there is no other woman as there is a lady who wash and cleans his laundry and we travel together openly as a couple. I am confuse. Can you please explain how complex is the situation ?
Jenny

Portland, OR

#17 Feb 27, 2007
grl to tell you the turth guys are nithing to worrie about guys are just something to laying around with. take from me I had been dating and trying to rind the write on for me but i didnt I just found my self being stupid...but now everyone and they mom is trying ot date me I now see that I need to stop trying and wait for that right one to come around but now that im older and waiting I see my self playing around with guys and asking my self if its right but at the same time not caring
victim of love wrote:
I have the totally opposite experience from you. I had been dating a Honduras man for 2 years long distance and I travel to visit him 4 times a year and I finally think it's time to pop the question of asking him to visit me in the USA to see if he likes it so that we could tie the knot. That ended our relationship. He has nodesire to leave Honduras and I have a carreer, a house and everything to offer him a much better life and he turn them all down. I even offer to sponsor all his children from all other women he fathered. He asked me what is my intention. I cried as I had never encounter such twisted scenerio before. Is this a cultural issue ???? Or perhaps when something too good to be true makes them think twice ??? Just hated myself for wasting 2 precious years of my life on a Honduras man. Still love him alot !
Jenny

Portland, OR

#18 Feb 27, 2007
grl to tell you the turth guys are nothing to worrie about, guys are just something to playing around with. Take from me, I had been dating and trying to find the write one for me but i didnt I just found my self being stupid...but now everyone and they mom is trying ot date me I now see that I need to stop trying and wait for that right one to come around. but now that im older and waiting I see my self playing around with guys and asking my self if its right but at the same time not caring

I do things that I believe are not good but then i do it cuz it makes me feel good but then I see that I shouldnt do such things I dont know about you but I believe that you should find a guy that is good for you not wat you think and let the guy come to you not you follow the guy k.... by the way ima jenny and it was nice to read your message.
take care.
sincerly jenny
SAP

AOL

#19 Mar 2, 2007
isthmus wrote:
<quoted text>well, gabe the problem is that maybe she is afraid to come to the states she probably dont have family in the states if things dont go well she will fill alone without no help or etc.... she feels comfortable in honduras she's use to her life in honduras its slow pace enviorment.. iam a honduran man who has live 90% of my life in the states but i was born in honduras and when couple decades later and let me tell you iam very happy man i have the best of both worlds i have due citzenship us and honduras.. when i meet honduran women in honduras they like the idea that iam 1st honduran by blood and 2nd that i can travel broadly to both country's i have no restrictions i can stay as lonf as i want to in honduras and still go back to the states... i love honduras women the are the most beautiful in the world to me since iam a honduran man... i have been blessed to have been in good company of honduran women.. but there is maybe 2 women who i very much care for and they both have told me that they would love to spend the rest of there lives with me. one is 23 years old and the other is 27years old... i have no problem at all meeting beautiful women thru out the whole country of honduras.. give you example i have 3 ladies in tegucigalpa, 1 tela 2 copan ruins 2 la ceiba i roatan just to name a few.. it helps to be honduran to maybe too, iam a successful business person in the states but whenever i get a chance to go back to my beloved country honduras i grab the opportunity and run with it knowing that i have one paticular lady friend waiting for me in tegucigalpa who is mostly in my heart the othere ones just my friends. i plan making my life with this one she means everything to me.. so gabe to answere your ? why she dont wont to commit to you in the states if i were a betting man i would say that you are not honduran.. so maybe just think about that, iam not insulting you iam just saying that might be the problem by itself.. i never had that problem with the women of honduras i ahve asked out of curiousty that would you start a new life with me in the states and they all said yes... i hope i was able to help answere your own? good luck i hope you are able to bring that honduran woman to the states to be with you!!!!
well i have read everyones comments about relationships and dating in honduras and i agreed with certain partys. i 1st and formost protect myself and finances i lead them on as they would me.. i love honduras women dont get me wrong... but iam in good position.. iam honduran and have been blessed to marry a honduran woman she is very good to me in honesty i dont deserve her, iam not perfect person but she keeps going in life... most of my life i have lived far away from honduras growing up not knowing were hondurans are... only knowing mexicans.... the point iam trying to make is that if anybody who wants to meet a honduran women be cautious and carful... honestly i would look outside the city.... to find that right honduras women... thank you allah you have blessed me with the people of honduras.......
jordan

Feira, Portugal

#20 Mar 6, 2007
For alex

i would like to thank to you very much for your tips and advice. you are right. the real girls from houduras do not waste time neither a lot of money on internet to date. from time to time i meet a serious girl who tell me that prefer write letters by post office.due to save money and their parents

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