Egyptian Men and Black Women

[Anya]

You are wrong about the minorities destroying these poor people's lives. Go do some more research or don't write anything you don't know about!

[lostlamb]

My husband is Egyptian. For some reason many of his friends have spoken very candidly in my presence about the topics discussed in the first post. RUN, DON'T WALK, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!! I have never heard any Lower Egyptian man say anything nice about a dark skinned woman even if she is the most pious Muslim ever to walk the planet. They favor light skin. You are American, is he here legally? Is he here on some sort of temporary visa? I am not saying any of this to be mean. They do not date to see what will happen. They date for the purpose of finding a wife. It has been my experience that they do not think of us as real people. We are "sharmutas" (that is a very rough phoenetic spelling of the word that they often translate as "bitch". It really means something closer to "slut" of "ho") This means that it is ok to mislead us, marry us, then discard us when they have their papers and enough resources to find a nice, young, pious, muslim virgin. Their families tend to understand this. We are a means to an end. I have learned enough arabic at this point to catch it when a man says horrible things to his american wife or girlfriend in front of his friends and they all have smiles on their faces.
Furthermore, if somehow this young man is the exception to the norm, be careful about the child thing. I thought that my husband was a moderate, enlightened man. I am now pregnant with our first child and really finding out how this goes. His children will be Muslim. There is no mixing, no raising in both faiths. Check any Islamic website on this topic, the imams and jurists are very clear. I am told that my children might be allowed to attend church with me on Christmas and Easter. This is only if he is present and can make sure that they don't get confused. The most recent bomb that was dropped on me was that if we have a daughter, he wants her circumcised! Fortunately, I did some research and found out that it is illegal here and was just banned in Egypt last year.
I am sure that you really like this guy. I am sure that he is handsome and exotic and thrilling. My husband was too. Make sure you really probe him to find out what is lurking beneath the surface. Push his buttons a little. I wish you all the best.

[Asmara]

@ lostlamb

regardless of whether or not your husband WANTS your children to be muslim or not-- If you are Christian then your children will grow up exposed to both faiths regardless of what you or your husband wants them to be. When they get older they will decide for themselves which practice suits them best-- it may be Islam and it may be Christianity... it may even be something totally different like Buddhism or Agnosticism... lol. You never know, but I wouldnt worry about it too much-- if you practice you faith your children will pick up on it.

I have a similiar situation-- I am a Bahai and my husband-to-be is mMuslim. I have made it clear that I have no intentions of hiding myself from our kids when I pray or excluding them when I go to the mashriqu'l adhkar... I also dont have a problem with him taking them to the mosque.

Some people worry that exposing a child to two diffferent religions will confuse them but I disagree. You only have to worry about this if you as parents are competing and trying to "win" the child over by talking down and each telling them that one faith is better than the other. If done properly it will simply cause your children to grow up more open minded than the average person.

[waterproof eyeliner]

lostlamb wrote:

My husband is Egyptian. For some reason many of his friends have spoken very candidly in my presence about the topics discussed in the first post. RUN, DON'T WALK, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!! I have never heard any Lower Egyptian man say anything nice about a dark skinned woman even if she is the most pious Muslim ever to walk the planet. They favor light skin. You are American, is he here legally? Is he here on some sort of temporary visa? I am not saying any of this to be mean. They do not date to see what will happen. They date for the purpose of finding a wife. It has been my experience that they do not think of us as real people. We are "sharmutas" (that is a very rough phoenetic spelling of the word that they often translate as "bitch". It really means something closer to "slut" of "ho") This means that it is ok to mislead us, marry us, then discard us when they have their papers and enough resources to find a nice, young, pious, muslim virgin. Their families tend to understand this. We are a means to an end. I have learned enough arabic at this point to catch it when a man says horrible things to his american wife or girlfriend in front of his friends and they all have smiles on their faces.
Furthermore, if somehow this young man is the exception to the norm, be careful about the child thing. I thought that my husband was a moderate, enlightened man. I am now pregnant with our first child and really finding out how this goes. His children will be Muslim. There is no mixing, no raising in both faiths. Check any Islamic website on this topic, the imams and jurists are very clear. I am told that my children might be allowed to attend church with me on Christmas and Easter. This is only if he is present and can make sure that they don't get confused. The most recent bomb that was dropped on me was that if we have a daughter, he wants her circumcised! Fortunately, I did some research and found out that it is illegal here and was just banned in Egypt last year.
I am sure that you really like this guy. I am sure that he is handsome and exotic and thrilling. My husband was too. Make sure you really probe him to find out what is lurking beneath the surface. Push his buttons a little. I wish you all the best.

they still circumscise in some cases in egypt in private. if he really wants her to be cut he will get that and you will have little to stop him.
the fact that he wants that would worry me.
why would you want to be married to any man who would want to do that to his YOUR daughter?

[JbellJoy]

This is all interesting. I'm going abroad to cairo this fall and I am alittle nervous as to how I will be percieved when I get over there. I know that I will stand out as an African-American but I am still curious about what to expect.

[Egyptian American]

JbellJoy: How long will you stay in Cairo? What will you be doing there? Whether you will stand out depends on how you look because you can find every shade of skin color among Egyptians. I know plenty of black Americans who are lighter skinned and are not considered to stand out so much in Egypt. It depends on how you wear your hair, how you dress, how you look, many things. One of my black Americans friends came to visit and she did not stand out at all.

[missy]

lostlamb wrote:

My husband is Egyptian. For some reason many of his friends have spoken very candidly in my presence about the topics discussed in the first post. RUN, DON'T WALK, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!! I have never heard any Lower Egyptian man say anything nice about a dark skinned woman even if she is the most pious Muslim ever to walk the planet. They favor light skin. You are American, is he here legally? Is he here on some sort of temporary visa? I am not saying any of this to be mean. They do not date to see what will happen. They date for the purpose of finding a wife. It has been my experience that they do not think of us as real people. We are "sharmutas" (that is a very rough phoenetic spelling of the word that they often translate as "bitch". It really means something closer to "slut" of "ho") This means that it is ok to mislead us, marry us, then discard us when they have their papers and enough resources to find a nice, young, pious, muslim virgin. Their families tend to understand this. We are a means to an end. I have learned enough arabic at this point to catch it when a man says horrible things to his american wife or girlfriend in front of his friends and they all have smiles on their faces.
Furthermore, if somehow this young man is the exception to the norm, be careful about the child thing. I thought that my husband was a moderate, enlightened man. I am now pregnant with our first child and really finding out how this goes. His children will be Muslim. There is no mixing, no raising in both faiths. Check any Islamic website on this topic, the imams and jurists are very clear. I am told that my children might be allowed to attend church with me on Christmas and Easter. This is only if he is present and can make sure that they don't get confused. The most recent bomb that was dropped on me was that if we have a daughter, he wants her circumcised! Fortunately, I did some research and found out that it is illegal here and was just banned in Egypt last year.
I am sure that you really like this guy. I am sure that he is handsome and exotic and thrilling. My husband was too. Make sure you really probe him to find out what is lurking beneath the surface. Push his buttons a little. I wish you all the best.

So you think that your husband married you because he was desperate? You think that they perceive black women as "bitches", "hoes" or sluts" or is it just that western women in general? Because what you are talking about.... Egyptian men have this perception of WESTERN women in general, not just black. If a woman gives it up before marriage, they are considered to be loose and they lose respect for the person.

[perverted guy]

missy wrote:

<quoted text>
So you think that your husband married you because he was desperate? You think that they perceive black women as "bitches", "hoes" or sluts" or is it just that western women in general? Because what you are talking about.... Egyptian men have this perception of WESTERN women in general, not just black. If a woman gives it up before marriage, they are considered to be loose and they lose respect for the person.

Where r u originally from?

[missy]

No disrespect but does it matter? Not from America... I guess you can tell.:-)

[RamesesII]

I like sharmootas who wash their teeza.

[perverted guy]

missy wrote:

No disrespect but does it matter? Not from America... I guess you can tell.:-)

Yes i can tell egyptian of course.

[missy]

RamesesII wrote:

I like .

I'm sure that you would love a man to refer to your mother or sister as a "sharmoota".:-)

[missy]

perverted guy wrote:

<quoted text>
Yes i can tell egyptian of course.

And how can you tell that I am Egyptian?

[perverted guy]

missy wrote:

<quoted text>
And how can you tell that I am Egyptian?

Well your comment is deeply immersed in the culture and how men here think this has two possibilities
1- you are an egyptian
2- you or one of close relatives involved with an egyptian man.
Finally if you are not egyptian you are a middle eastern.

[RamesesII]

missy wrote:

<quoted text>
I'm sure that you would love a man to refer to your mother or sister as a "sharmoota".:-)

The fact is, some women are sharmootas and some are not. My mother and sister were virgins until they got married, so the term sharmoota does not apply to them. However, there must be someone to whom the beatiful word "sharmoota" applies, otherwise, why would the word have been invented???

[Anne]

Dear Zinbadalive, Since your a retired chemist...in Alex...if one has two step sons graduating from pharmacy in Cairo...what do you recommend in so far as opening up a shop or importing goods from abroad?

Sorry to ask you here on this page/topic...but, I also had to comment that I am foreign (white/blue eyes) and my husband has confessed that this is what he always admired in a woman...and that fairer skin was attractive. Your honesty in your post is very refreshing. Thanks.

[missy]

RamesesII wrote:

<quoted text>
The fact is, some women are sharmootas and some are not. My mother and sister were virgins until they got married, so the term sharmoota does not apply to them. However, there must be someone to whom the beatiful word "sharmoota" applies, otherwise, why would the word have been invented???

Oh... really? I am sure you know that these days... many are having surgery to be "virgins" again. Anyway, the reason that I said that is not to disrespect. I meant it because I don't think it is necessary for you to talk such garbage making yourself look bad.

[missy]

Anne wrote:

Dear Zinbadalive, Since your a retired chemist...in Alex...if one has two step sons graduating from pharmacy in Cairo...what do you recommend in so far as opening up a shop or importing goods from abroad?
Sorry to ask you here on this page/topic...but, I also had to comment that I am foreign (white/blue eyes) and my husband has confessed that this is what he always admired in a woman...and that fairer skin was attractive. Your honesty in your post is very refreshing. Thanks.

I'm glad that the comments made you feel confident in yourself. Of course, your husband will say that to you because you are his wife. You expect to him say, "No... I don't like your color. I prefer someone who is dark." Everybody has their own taste. Some like light-skinned and some don't care. What your husband prefers does not represent EVERY Egyptian man.

[Egyptian American]

missy wrote:

<quoted text>
I'm glad that the comments made you feel confident in yourself. Of course, your husband will say that to you because you are his wife. You expect to him say, "No... I don't like your color. I prefer someone who is dark." Everybody has their own taste. Some like light-skinned and some don't care. What your husband prefers does not represent EVERY Egyptian man.

Missy, you are a wise woman. Nice to read your words. It is strange to me that many people assume all people admire or desire light-skin and blue or light eyes. Strange and very wrong assumption, even when speaking about Egyptians. Everyone does not voice their preferences. Many people go with the flow. The most desired woman among my Egyptian friends I have ever known was tall, dark brown-skinned with dark eyes, a fabulous body and a stunning face. She had men falling all over her. She married a very light-skinned Egyptian and they are happy. That was 12-years ago.

[RamesesII]

missy wrote:

<quoted text>
Oh... really? I am sure you know that these days... many are having surgery to be "virgins" again. Anyway, the reason that I said that is not to disrespect. I meant it because I don't think it is necessary for you to talk such garbage making yourself look bad.

Missy I am just fooling around to entertain myself. Frankly, I have a hard time taking most of these threads seriously. You may have guessed that from my post stating that I like sharmootas who wash their teeza. This may have smacked of some kind of irreverence and lack of seriousness...excuse me, I have to go wash teezy now.