I am a boring man. Please make me interesting.

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Bob

Australia

#1 Sep 27, 2011
I like watching paint dry, watching grass grow, making long videos of trees swaying in the wind, blowing that frothy shit off the top of cappaccinos, staring at an egg cup for hours on end, sitting on a couch and counting upto 1,000,000 then counting back down to -1,000,000. I also like flowers such as roses, pansies, rhodadendrums, crysanthynums, daisies, sunflowers. I get off on watching birds with binoculas with my other equally boring mates. I order myself a glass of red cordial when it's my shout at the pub because I'm such a tight arse, I sit in front of a bucket under a tap and count how many drips it takes to fill it up, I once counted 856,861 drips, I screw obese bitches all the time because they're easy, I work in a hose clamp factory and can recite the sizes of all the clamps that we make. We make 4mm-8mm, 8mm-16mm, 16mm-24mm, 24mm-32mm, 32mm-40mm, 40mm-48mm, 48mm-56mm. I can go on and on and on. And I will! We also make 56mm-64mm, 64mm-72mm, 72mm-80mm. Then we have different widths. The smaller ones are........oh shit! I just died a boring death!

“We don't have to take it”

Since: Jun 08

WhereTFamI?

#2 Sep 27, 2011
Bob wrote:
I like watching paint dry, watching grass grow, making long videos of trees swaying in the wind, blowing that frothy shit off the top of cappaccinos, staring at an egg cup for hours on end, sitting on a couch and counting upto 1,000,000 then counting back down to -1,000,000. I also like flowers such as roses, pansies, rhodadendrums, crysanthynums, daisies, sunflowers. I get off on watching birds with binoculas with my other equally boring mates. I order myself a glass of red cordial when it's my shout at the pub because I'm such a tight arse, I sit in front of a bucket under a tap and count how many drips it takes to fill it up, I once counted 856,861 drips, I screw obese bitches all the time because they're easy, I work in a hose clamp factory and can recite the sizes of all the clamps that we make. We make 4mm-8mm, 8mm-16mm, 16mm-24mm, 24mm-32mm, 32mm-40mm, 40mm-48mm, 48mm-56mm. I can go on and on and on. And I will! We also make 56mm-64mm, 64mm-72mm, 72mm-80mm. Then we have different widths. The smaller ones are........oh shit! I just died a boring death!
On the third day you will rise from the dead - join the army!

“Free Speech in a Free World ”

Since: May 10

AUSTRALIAN

#3 Sep 27, 2011
Bob wrote:
I like watching paint dry, watching grass grow, making long videos of trees swaying in the wind, blowing that frothy shit off the top of cappuccinos, staring at an egg cup for hours on end, sitting on a couch and counting up to 1,000,000 then counting back down to -1,000,000. I also like flowers such as roses, pansies, rhododendrons, chrysanthemums, daisies, sunflowers. I get off on watching birds with binoculars with my other equally boring mates. I order myself a glass of red cordial when it's my shout at the pub because I'm such a tight arse, I sit in front of a bucket under a tap and count how many drips it takes to fill it up, I once counted 856,861 drips, I screw obese bitches all the time because they're easy, I work in a hose clamp factory and can recite the sizes of all the clamps that we make. We make 4mm-8mm, 8mm-16mm, 16mm-24mm, 24mm-32mm, 32mm-40mm, 40mm-48mm, 48mm-56mm. I can go on and on and on. And I will! We also make 56mm-64mm, 64mm-72mm, 72mm-80mm. Then we have different widths. The smaller ones are........oh shit! I just died a boring death!
In different occupations we live our work lives all our lives and to have a social life is impracticable for our lifestyle.
To know yourself better than anyone else you could ask yourself what would you like to do and just do what comes into your mind,but do it better than everyone else so you will feel different and less boring towards yourself.
Run in a council election or something that would change your vision of your future that you perceive a different horizon.
scooterman

Melbourne, Australia

#4 Sep 27, 2011
Bob wrote:
I order myself a glass of red cordial when it's my shout at the pub because I'm such a tight arse,.....
Ordering yourself a red cordial when it's your shout at the pub doesn't make you a tightarse unless you insist on shouting everyone else red cordials when they expect alcoholic drinks. It actually makes you sound quite generous and independent-minded instead.

“"Never say never"”

Since: Sep 08

Location hidden

#5 Sep 27, 2011
You should become a crime-fighter during the weekend.
scooterman

Melbourne, Australia

#6 Sep 27, 2011
Bob wrote:
I also like flowers such as roses, pansies, rhodadendrums, crysanthynums, daisies, sunflowers.
Sunflowers are quite cool, big bold f***er flowers. Whole fields of them are even better. Fields of canola can look trippy and almost fluorescent sometimes.
scooterman

Melbourne, Australia

#7 Sep 27, 2011
Bob wrote:
I get off on watching birds with binoculas with my other equally boring mates.
Nothing wrong with a bit of a perv from a safe distance, eh?
Beady

Höst, Germany

#8 Sep 27, 2011
Bob wrote:
I like watching paint dry, watching grass grow, making long videos of trees swaying in the wind, blowing that frothy shit off the top of cappaccinos, staring at an egg cup for hours on end, sitting on a couch and counting upto 1,000,000 then counting back down to -1,000,000. I also like flowers such as roses, pansies, rhodadendrums, crysanthynums, daisies, sunflowers. I get off on watching birds with binoculas with my other equally boring mates. I order myself a glass of red cordial when it's my shout at the pub because I'm such a tight arse, I sit in front of a bucket under a tap and count how many drips it takes to fill it up, I once counted 856,861 drips, I screw obese bitches all the time because they're easy, I work in a hose clamp factory and can recite the sizes of all the clamps that we make. We make 4mm-8mm, 8mm-16mm, 16mm-24mm, 24mm-32mm, 32mm-40mm, 40mm-48mm, 48mm-56mm. I can go on and on and on. And I will! We also make 56mm-64mm, 64mm-72mm, 72mm-80mm. Then we have different widths. The smaller ones are........oh shit! I just died a boring death!
Here's what you can do to relieve the boredom:

Find some pink lotus flowers and fashion them into a TUTU and fasten it to yourself with your horse clamps.

Add some crystals to your bucket and build yourself a Jelly cake, watch it wobble while you sprinkle desecrated coconut on top. This will keep you entertained for hours.

Whatever you do, don't ask your uncle for any advice.

Since: Feb 10

Ultimo, Australia

#9 Sep 27, 2011
Abracadabra --- you're interesting!
Beady Friends

London, UK

#10 Sep 27, 2011
Bob wrote:
I like watching paint dry, watching grass grow, making long videos of trees swaying in the wind, blowing that frothy shit off the top of cappaccinos, staring at an egg cup for hours on end, sitting on a couch and counting upto 1,000,000 then counting back down to -1,000,000. I also like flowers such as roses, pansies, rhodadendrums, crysanthynums, daisies, sunflowers. I get off on watching birds with binoculas with my other equally boring mates. I order myself a glass of red cordial when it's my shout at the pub because I'm such a tight arse, I sit in front of a bucket under a tap and count how many drips it takes to fill it up, I once counted 856,861 drips, I screw obese bitches all the time because they're easy, I work in a hose clamp factory and can recite the sizes of all the clamps that we make. We make 4mm-8mm, 8mm-16mm, 16mm-24mm, 24mm-32mm, 32mm-40mm, 40mm-48mm, 48mm-56mm. I can go on and on and on. And I will! We also make 56mm-64mm, 64mm-72mm, 72mm-80mm. Then we have different widths. The smaller ones are........oh shit! I just died a boring death!
Implosion can make you very boring.

Get a new hobby like catching flies and ripping their wings off.
Bob

Australia

#12 Sep 27, 2011
fapp wrote:
You should become a crime-fighter during the weekend.
Thankyou, I might just do that. During the week I am just "Bob, the hose clamp man." And on weekends I shall call myself.......THE BLUE HANDBAG!!!!
Bob

Australia

#13 Sep 27, 2011
Beady wrote:
<quoted text>
Here's what you can do to relieve the boredom:
Find some pink lotus flowers and fashion them into a TUTU and fasten it to yourself with your horse clamps.
Add some crystals to your bucket and build yourself a Jelly cake, watch it wobble while you sprinkle desecrated coconut on top. This will keep you entertained for hours.
Whatever you do, don't ask your uncle for any advice.
Thankyou Beady, I can always count on you for any pink TUTU related advice! Uncle Bob says hi.

“Free Speech in a Free World ”

Since: May 10

AUSTRALIAN

#14 Sep 27, 2011
scooterman wrote:
<quoted text>
Sunflowers are quite cool, big bold f***er flowers. Whole fields of them are even better. Fields of canola can look trippy and almost fluorescent sometimes.
Especially up around Emerald in Qld when driving a truck past a crop of the stuff many drivers have felt that the sunflowers turn to look at who is going past them.

“Free Speech in a Free World ”

Since: May 10

AUSTRALIAN

#15 Sep 27, 2011
fapp wrote:
You should become a crime-fighter during the weekend.
A caped crusader
LMR

Australia

#16 Sep 28, 2011
Bob wrote:
I like watching paint dry, watching grass grow, making long videos of trees swaying in the wind, blowing that frothy shit off the top of cappaccinos, staring at an egg cup for hours on end, sitting on a couch and counting upto 1,000,000 then counting back down to -1,000,000.
Get off the weed.
Elias

Glen Waverley, Australia

#17 Sep 28, 2011
Bob wrote:
I like watching paint dry, watching grass grow, making long videos of trees swaying in the wind, blowing that frothy shit off the top of cappaccinos, staring at an egg cup for hours on end, sitting on a couch and counting upto 1,000,000 then counting back down to -1,000,000. I also like flowers such as roses, pansies, rhodadendrums, crysanthynums, daisies, sunflowers. I get off on watching birds with binoculas with my other equally boring mates. I order myself a glass of red cordial when it's my shout at the pub because I'm such a tight arse, I sit in front of a bucket under a tap and count how many drips it takes to fill it up, I once counted 856,861 drips, I screw obese bitches all the time because they're easy, I work in a hose clamp factory and can recite the sizes of all the clamps that we make. We make 4mm-8mm, 8mm-16mm, 16mm-24mm, 24mm-32mm, 32mm-40mm, 40mm-48mm, 48mm-56mm. I can go on and on and on. And I will! We also make 56mm-64mm, 64mm-72mm, 72mm-80mm. Then we have different widths. The smaller ones are........oh shit! I just died a boring death!
You well on your way if "you" acknowledge you are boring to yourself. To be honest men who spend their day screwing supermodels , throwing away millions playing at the casino or stockmarket and snorting drugs and boozing all day must also get pretty bored eventually.

Just got to find meaning in your life. Become an authority on flowers, birds and hose clamps and be proud of it.
Beady

France

#18 Sep 28, 2011
Elias wrote:
<quoted text>
You well on your way if "you" acknowledge you are boring to yourself. To be honest men who spend their day screwing supermodels , throwing away millions playing at the casino or stockmarket and snorting drugs and boozing all day must also get pretty bored eventually.
Just got to find meaning in your life. Become an authority on flowers, birds and hose clamps and be proud of it.
And Jelly.
Elias

Glen Waverley, Australia

#19 Sep 28, 2011
Beady wrote:
<quoted text>
And Jelly.
And jelly
TBA

Caringbah, Australia

#20 Sep 28, 2011
Elias wrote:
<quoted text>
You well on your way if "you" acknowledge you are boring to yourself. To be honest men who spend their day screwing supermodels , throwing away millions playing at the casino or stockmarket and snorting drugs and boozing all day must also get pretty bored eventually.
Just got to find meaning in your life. Become an authority on flowers, birds and hose clamps and be proud of it.
I'm sure millions of people around the world are eagerly awaiting his definitive guide to hose clamps- the ebook.

“"Never say never"”

Since: Sep 08

Location hidden

#21 Sep 28, 2011
Neville Thompson wrote:
<quoted text>
A caped crusader
He should protect women and children from muggers in subways!

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