“No mercy! ”

Since: Dec 09

Tirane, Al

#619 Jan 13, 2010
B- Albos wrote:
<quoted text>
You are not alone. Alot of women have experience the same. It takes 3 years to get immigration papers so thats the magic number.
what did you do to get back to him? or did you just walk away? Cheers
It takes 3 years t get immigration papers? More wrong information on your part! A non citizen married to a citizen is unable to gain citizenship in the U.S. by way of marriage!
Its a 5 step program;
1st. A non citizen must report to INS, whom then determines a court date for the immigrant. Due to a que in INS courts the stay in the U.S. is undetermined and no set time is given.
2nd. A non citizen whom is married to a citizen must first prove their marriage and an INS court must judge on the legitimacy of said marriage, if they agree on its legitimacy,
3d. A non citizen must than ask for permission for voluntary departure to his/her home country, wihch may or may not be granted. If it is grated than said citizen mus leave the country,
4th. Said non-citizen must file papers from the U.S. embassy of his home country (albania in this case) for, "family reunion" a process that can take from 1 year to 5!
5th. Said citizen will be granted a 'Temporary' ID, i.e.'Green Card' and will be under supervision for a period of 5 years after which he is able to file for citizenship!
Whitney

New York, NY

#620 Jan 13, 2010
I am engaged to an Albanian man and have been accepted into his circle of family and friends. However, I am constantly being put behind his family. He does not go a day without seeing them, and it's almost to the point where we can't make plans more than a few days ahead of time because his family might want to do something. I do not want to come between him and his family and love that they are a big part of his life, but it's a bit extreme. Whenever I try to talk to him about it he gets mad saying I want him to chose b/w him and his family and that's not the case at all? Any advice??
the lady

London, UK

#621 Jan 13, 2010
Kanal wrote:
<quoted text>
Well it seems the only person that is currently having problems with "logic" in this conversation between, "you and I", is you sweetheart!
My brain is perfectly capable of logically debating this issue, but it seems you are not here to debate an issue you just simply want to "bash" on a group of people, that type of discussion is not welcomed because it leads to no where!
In what do you base your facts when you call me disgusting? I said nothign to merit such language from a so called "lady". Love, calling people names and acting tough does not make you "strong woman", it only makes you a woman that thinks, "acting tough makes you as such"! The problem is, "IT DOES NOT"!
You mentioned the fact that you, "know Albanian women and that they are treated as second rate citizens". I live in Albania, how come this is not apparent to me? Since before you(england) or America was giving women the rights, Albania had women senators and congresswomen. Before you or America was paying women the same amount for work done, Albania was doing it 40 years before! Are women abused? I would assume so! As long as there are men that are incapable of being MEN, than there will be women that are treated like sh1t! This has nothing to do with Albanians, it has everything to do with weak men that are unable to deal with women or themselves. A strong woman is not one that acts like a man; a strong woman raises a home, takes care of her man, is able deal with a mans inability to show emotion like she can. Above all a strong woman has no need to show how strong she is, by constantly telling others about her strength, these are all qualities yo seem to lack!
Enjoy the upcoming divorce! Love you!
Ok i have had a break from this forum-mainly because people tend to go off on a tangent and not stick to the topic been discussed.
The trend here seem like alot of women have been burnt by albanian men. I do believe they are too sides to every story,but all these women cannot be lying.
The pattern forming here,seems to paint albanian men as cheats,liars and money obsessed.
I know around 5 albanian guy,one openly admitted to me that he cheated on his wife many times,the others keep trying it on with me although they are married.
Am always amazed,how these guys proudly wear a wedding ring on their fingers but fail to respect their vows.
The obsessed with money do sound familar as the guys i know seems fascinated with getting rich fast.
I must admit that some albanian guys are really nice and social people,they seem to enjoy others company. And are also generous to those in their circle.
However the biggest flaw is you rarely/never see them out and about with their wives-i am confused. Where are wives??
Kanal i respect alot of your post as you always semm to state a unbias and just argument. However i strongly disagree with your above quote"a strong woman raises a home, takes care of her man, is able deal with a mans inability to show emotion like she can"
A strong woman can also be a career driven person,who does not need a man or children to feel complete. There are vast amount of women,who are strong but do not necessarly need to be hidden at home cooking cleaning or minding the children.

“No mercy! ”

Since: Dec 09

Tirane, Al

#622 Jan 13, 2010
the lady wrote:
<quoted text>
A strong woman can also be a career driven person,who does not need a man or children to feel complete. There are vast amount of women,who are strong but do not necessarly need to be hidden at home cooking cleaning or minding the children.
Very true, i did not think i needed to mention that part, because it seems to be very obvious! As a person that wants a woman that can express herself (intelligently), i am all for empowering and respecting a woman's abilities to be independent.
the lady

London, UK

#623 Jan 13, 2010
Kanal wrote:
<quoted text>
Very true, i did not think i needed to mention that part, because it seems to be very obvious! As a person that wants a woman that can express herself (intelligently), i am all for empowering and respecting a woman's abilities to be independent.
Well am glad you are all for empowering women....but honestly what is up with albanian men not been seen with their wives??
Is that common practise in albanian?
B- Albos

Drummondville, Canada

#624 Jan 13, 2010
Kanal wrote:
<quoted text>
It takes 3 years t get immigration papers? More wrong information on your part! A non citizen married to a citizen is unable to gain citizenship in the U.S. by way of marriage!
Its a 5 step program;
1st. A non citizen must report to INS, whom then determines a court date for the immigrant. Due to a que in INS courts the stay in the U.S. is undetermined and no set time is given.
2nd. A non citizen whom is married to a citizen must first prove their marriage and an INS court must judge on the legitimacy of said marriage, if they agree on its legitimacy,
3d. A non citizen must than ask for permission for voluntary departure to his/her home country, wihch may or may not be granted. If it is grated than said citizen mus leave the country,
4th. Said non-citizen must file papers from the U.S. embassy of his home country (albania in this case) for, "family reunion" a process that can take from 1 year to 5!
5th. Said citizen will be granted a 'Temporary' ID, i.e.'Green Card' and will be under supervision for a period of 5 years after which he is able to file for citizenship!
Did you know that if you lie on your application they can send you back on a one way ticket :-) All you have to say is boo! with all this hightened security, strike out!!
So morale of this story is the same....be careful who you mess with, you mess with the wrong woman you lose! Cheers
B- Albos

Drummondville, Canada

#625 Jan 13, 2010
Whitney wrote:
I am engaged to an Albanian man and have been accepted into his circle of family and friends. However, I am constantly being put behind his family. He does not go a day without seeing them, and it's almost to the point where we can't make plans more than a few days ahead of time because his family might want to do something. I do not want to come between him and his family and love that they are a big part of his life, but it's a bit extreme. Whenever I try to talk to him about it he gets mad saying I want him to chose b/w him and his family and that's not the case at all? Any advice??
Tell hime to go marry his mother. Cheers
Jona Os

Tirana, Albania

#626 Jan 14, 2010
Whitney wrote:
I am engaged to an Albanian man and have been accepted into his circle of family and friends. However, I am constantly being put behind his family. He does not go a day without seeing them, and it's almost to the point where we can't make plans more than a few days ahead of time because his family might want to do something. I do not want to come between him and his family and love that they are a big part of his life, but it's a bit extreme. Whenever I try to talk to him about it he gets mad saying I want him to chose b/w him and his family and that's not the case at all? Any advice??
Well, when albanian men are too fond of their family it's rather difficult. I suggest you to use a wiser way. Try to make his family be on your side, showing your values and the respect you have for them, especially his mom. Do smth they don't expect, small things.They love details.

You will see the change.Good luck.
Ariel

Nolensville, TN

#628 Jan 14, 2010
sara tuti wrote:
well you see i never had witness any abuse of white men because i really hate to bring this up about personal life i don't want any one to feel sorry for me for this the reason i have a hate of hispanic guys latin americans is because 14 yrs ago my mother had date these losers and one of them had always controlled her abused her until one day i was away at my grandmother house when i came from school and i thought my word ended when i was told that my mother was murder by that pyshco controlling freak and he was hispanic not spainsh from spain now i got over it along time but i would never forget how she was and for get how those men of that culture are not only of my mother"S case but also i hear it from friends of mine
' that dated or married to these scum bags hispanic men have go threw tears all the time and the suffering thank god that he had bless me with a white guy and he is albanian i've been with him for 8yrs and thank god he is so good to he is very decent very faithful he is family men and i'm happy thank god that you didn't misjudge me you did the right thing of asking me this of my haterd against latin guys it doesn't really has to with so much rascim but i also look at the person class this also has to do with classim.
There are scum bag, abusive men in any culture, not just those of Latin culture. I am Hispanic and found your comment rather intersting. FYI - my sister dated an American WHITE guy who was equally as abusive and psycho as the man you described. Don't be so judgement....a - holes come in all breeds. I am dating an Albanian and all is well so far. This being my 1st time to date outside of my culture.
B-Albos

Drummondville, Canada

#629 Jan 15, 2010
Jona Os wrote:
<quoted text>
Well, when albanian men are too fond of their family it's rather difficult. I suggest you to use a wiser way. Try to make his family be on your side, showing your values and the respect you have for them, especially his mom. Do smth they don't expect, small things.They love details.
You will see the change.Good luck.
Translantion...give them money. The only way to like you. Cheers!
Be smart and dumb him and family too!
B-Albos

Drummondville, Canada

#630 Jan 15, 2010
Ariel wrote:
<quoted text>
There are scum bag, abusive men in any culture, not just those of Latin culture. I am Hispanic and found your comment rather intersting. FYI - my sister dated an American WHITE guy who was equally as abusive and psycho as the man you described. Don't be so judgement....a - holes come in all breeds. I am dating an Albanian and all is well so far. This being my 1st time to date outside of my culture.
Stop being desperate and date an Americian like yourself if you are one. Only desperation would make you date an Albanian. Cheers!

“No mercy! ”

Since: Dec 09

Tirane, Al

#631 Jan 15, 2010
the lady wrote:
<quoted text>
Well am glad you are all for empowering women....but honestly what is up with albanian men not been seen with their wives??
Is that common practise in albanian?
I noticed that when i lived in the U.S.!? It struck me a little weird because its not something that happens here, i don't know what to tell you about that without getting into a deep philosophical debate.
the lady

UK

#632 Jan 15, 2010
Kanal wrote:
<quoted text>
I noticed that when i lived in the U.S.!? It struck me a little weird because its not something that happens here, i don't know what to tell you about that without getting into a deep philosophical debate.
Come on Kanal,get into that philosophical debate with me.lol

“No mercy! ”

Since: Dec 09

Tirane, Al

#633 Jan 15, 2010
the lady wrote:
<quoted text>
Come on Kanal,get into that philosophical debate with me.lol
Haha believe me if anyone(including you) thought i wrote allot before, you will be amazed!
There is way to much to be said about it, it seems to strike all immigrants - regardless of their original country- same; they either turn back in time about 50-100 year, or try to be overly liberal without actually understanding what they are being "liberated" from. The children of these immigrants knowing hardly anything about the country of their forefathers but acting simply on "word of mouth", tend to disregard the point of some of the "things" they hear. I am sure that you have noticed the Serbians or Albanians that speak from a foreign country, they tend to be allot more distant from reality of what is going on in their respective countries, they tend to be the most "militant". Notice their brutal language about; what should happen with one side of the group or another. This translates not only in "how they feel about their neighbors", but about other 'simpler' things; marriage, women, tradition, patriotism,... etc. Example,... Being that they are away from their country, they feel(perhaps not directly) the need for exaggerating certain perspectives of their day-to-day life. Its most noticeable in their feelings of "patriotism"; an Albanian out of the country will most likely get an "Albanian Eagle" tattoo, or try to marry a girl from his own side of town. A Serb will constantly wear something that represents Serbia,... a cap, shirt with flag on it, etc. This is all well and good, but the fact remains that being away from your "home" distances one immensely from the problems existent in said country(which ever it may be) and sends you spinning out of control towards "imaginary" or the tendency of "over exaggeration" said problems. As i previously stated, this also translates into every day life. If a Serb in Serbia, cares little to maybe not at all about what Albanians are, a Serb away "feels" he(he mostly)/she has the need to make up for his absence by being overly "Serbian". If an Albanian in Albania could give a sh1t less about "Kanuni Law", an Albanian away, thinks he has to fallow it.
With women you will mostly notice it translating into a, "complete disregard for their prior culture", or the complete opposite, i.e., "the over guarding of a culture that no longer needs to be so dominant"! An Albanian woman out of the country, tries in vain, to protect what no longer exist; the neighborhood "he said, she said" game. Or over plays it by saying/acting "i don't give a f^^k about what anyone says about how i act or what i do". The problem is that this ends up in over exaggeration of, "what a person can and cant do", or "how society acts to it" in perpetuity to what they do.

... see what im saying? Haha!

“No mercy! ”

Since: Dec 09

Tirane, Al

#634 Jan 15, 2010
The lady,
The only thing i can really tell you is this, "try it out"! If you don't like it, "you don't" and get out!

There is nothing like trial by error!
the lady

UK

#635 Jan 16, 2010
Kanal wrote:
The lady,
The only thing i can really tell you is this, "try it out"! If you don't like it, "you don't" and get out!
There is nothing like trial by error!
Try what out?...ok i understand that male and females are independent and want freedom to do their own thing.
However when you are a couple,you most definetly will be seen out...either going for meals,shopping etc etc.
The albanian guys i know are always seen on their own or with their mates,never with the wives or gf.
My girlfriends/mates find this strange....as they always question me,"well do you ever see his wife?" and my answer is always no-i dont know what she looks like.
Then one of my mate commented,thats very peculiar,"he has seen you and your bf on several occassion".
At one point i was worried i will be at my work and some random female would approach me mouthing off about her husband.
Well it hasnt happened yet,but you never know.lol
:)

Since: Jan 10

AOL

#636 Jan 16, 2010
A month ago I started seeing an Albanian man, I am so confused. Talk about mixed messages. First he commented I text to much, than I backed off and the next day I didn't text at all..than he asked why I didn't text that 1-2 texts a day to let him know how I'm doing (check-in) is fine and wants that..so although we are not officially in a realtionship..ok..than one time I left work without texting (we work in same building) and I got a text. "You left work without texting me. Why?". Well...because he gave me the cold shoulder earlier at work so I had thought it best to leave things be and back off. In a month we have gotten together 3 times, the last visit being really nice..he really opened up to me...I was on cloud 9..than following 2 days he intiated texts (just saying...how was ur day)..3rd day I intiated, 4th day I was back at work (we have brief talk as he was leaving b4) than next day I totally get the cold shoulder. I feel as if he's hot and cold, is this how Albanian men are..help me understand them.

He says he isn't muslim. He says he only just broke up with his ex 3 months ago that he has been with since teenagers..he has a tatoo of her face on his body he said he got done at 18. The only reason according to him they broke up is because she finished school and took job abroad..but they talk still about twice a week. My concern is...is this an arranged marriage..he talked about there families being very tied..and how her family came to the states after his. He says it's ok I'm American..but than when I asked if he would ever introduce me to friends and family..he said yes as a friend (close friend).

I'm just covering some things, but wondering if anyone can offer me insight to the Albanian man....I really am ga ga for him. I look forward to replys. Thank you.
DARDAN

Ireland

#637 Jan 16, 2010
fablue wrote:
A month ago I started seeing an Albanian man, I am so confused. Talk about mixed messages. First he commented I text to much, than I backed off and the next day I didn't text at all..than he asked why I didn't text that 1-2 texts a day to let him know how I'm doing (check-in) is fine and wants that..so although we are not officially in a realtionship..ok..than one time I left work without texting (we work in same building) and I got a text. "You left work without texting me. Why?". Well...because he gave me the cold shoulder earlier at work so I had thought it best to leave things be and back off. In a month we have gotten together 3 times, the last visit being really nice..he really opened up to me...I was on cloud 9..than following 2 days he intiated texts (just saying...how was ur day)..3rd day I intiated, 4th day I was back at work (we have brief talk as he was leaving b4) than next day I totally get the cold shoulder. I feel as if he's hot and cold, is this how Albanian men are..help me understand them.
He says he isn't muslim. He says he only just broke up with his ex 3 months ago that he has been with since teenagers..he has a tatoo of her face on his body he said he got done at 18. The only reason according to him they broke up is because she finished school and took job abroad..but they talk still about twice a week. My concern is...is this an arranged marriage..he talked about there families being very tied..and how her family came to the states after his. He says it's ok I'm American..but than when I asked if he would ever introduce me to friends and family..he said yes as a friend (close friend).
I'm just covering some things, but wondering if anyone can offer me insight to the Albanian man....I really am ga ga for him. I look forward to replys. Thank you.
what you want to know from the forum,as in every relationship ,somebody my like you somebody not ,ask yur girlfriends for opinions :))))for sure they will try to destroy you both :))))get a life will ya kurvat e nons

Since: Jan 10

AOL

#638 Jan 17, 2010
DARDAN wrote:
<quoted text>what you want to know from the forum,as in every relationship ,somebody my like you somebody not ,ask yur girlfriends for opinions :))))for sure they will try to destroy you both :))))get a life will ya kurvat e nons
Thanx for replying, but that d/n give me any insight to Albanian men...as that's what I'm looking for. Please somebody help me! Oh...and what's with Albanian men and poker...is that an obession for them or what..seems to be.
the lady

UK

#639 Jan 17, 2010
fablue wrote:
A month ago I started seeing an Albanian man, I am so confused. Talk about mixed messages. First he commented I text to much, than I backed off and the next day I didn't text at all..than he asked why I didn't text that 1-2 texts a day to let him know how I'm doing (check-in) is fine and wants that..so although we are not officially in a realtionship..ok..than one time I left work without texting (we work in same building) and I got a text. "You left work without texting me. Why?". Well...because he gave me the cold shoulder earlier at work so I had thought it best to leave things be and back off. In a month we have gotten together 3 times, the last visit being really nice..he really opened up to me...I was on cloud 9..than following 2 days he intiated texts (just saying...how was ur day)..3rd day I intiated, 4th day I was back at work (we have brief talk as he was leaving b4) than next day I totally get the cold shoulder. I feel as if he's hot and cold, is this how Albanian men are..help me understand them.
He says he isn't muslim. He says he only just broke up with his ex 3 months ago that he has been with since teenagers..he has a tatoo of her face on his body he said he got done at 18. The only reason according to him they broke up is because she finished school and took job abroad..but they talk still about twice a week. My concern is...is this an arranged marriage..he talked about there families being very tied..and how her family came to the states after his. He says it's ok I'm American..but than when I asked if he would ever introduce me to friends and family..he said yes as a friend (close friend).
I'm just covering some things, but wondering if anyone can offer me insight to the Albanian man....I really am ga ga for him. I look forward to replys. Thank you.
Omg i totally understand the cold shoulder thing....the albanian guy i knew gave me the cold shoulder recently and it was a complete shock to my symstem.
Well at first they will be all over you-and they are very generous to those in their circle.
I dont understand how he's giving you the cold shoulder after just a month. Did you try to make him jealous or flirted with someone else?.
From what i gathered....albanian men can be goodlooking charmers,however one rule applies to them and another to you.
Did you ask him what was up with him giving you the cold shoulder?
Maybe that would be a good start.

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