Actor Chuck Norris to become honorary Texas Ranger

There are 18 comments on the El Paso Times story from Dec 2, 2010, titled Actor Chuck Norris to become honorary Texas Ranger. In it, El Paso Times reports that:

There's only one man tough enough to take down "Walker, Texas Ranger." That's Norris, Texas Ranger.

Join the discussion below, or Read more at El Paso Times.

Chris Ramirez

Dallas, TX

#1 Dec 2, 2010
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chris Ramirez

Dallas, TX

#2 Dec 2, 2010
Lets get this going.....see how long it gets
Watchman

United States

#3 Dec 2, 2010
Chuck Norris doesn't need a flashlight. When he stares at the dark, it moves out of the way.
Watchman

United States

#4 Dec 2, 2010
When life gives Chuck Norris lemons, he blows up an orphanage.
Watchman

United States

#5 Dec 2, 2010
Chuck Norris can stand at the bottom of a bottomless pit.
Pelon

El Paso, TX

#6 Dec 2, 2010
That's what she said...
Chris Ramirez wrote:
Lets get this going.....see how long it gets
Perry at it again

El Paso, TX

#7 Dec 2, 2010
Here goes Perry. Rounding up his GOP buddies for what he says is not a run for president. What a bunch of cow (not bull) dung.
tomas

El Paso, TX

#8 Dec 2, 2010
When chuck norris donates blood, he uses a gun and a bucket
tomas

El Paso, TX

#9 Dec 2, 2010
01-Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

02-Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

03-Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

04-If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

05-Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

06-When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

07-Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

08-Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

09-They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.

10-A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
Watchman

United States

#10 Dec 2, 2010
Chuck Norris can give you two black eyes with one punch.

Before they met Chuck Norris, The Black Eyed Peas were simply known as The Peas.

Chuck Norris can drill a flat head screw with a Philips tip.

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

Chuck Norris wipes his ass with 8x10 sheets of plywood.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. Now, they are just called The Islands.

Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is.

Chuck Norris isn't hung like a horse; a horse is hung like Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can speak Braille.

If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

Chuck Norris uses a live rattlesnake as a condom.

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting because hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Chuck Norris can beat you at a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

Chuck Norris can cook Minute Rice in 30 seconds.

If you Google "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked", you'll get 0 results--it just doesn't happen.

Chuck Norris once held his breath for 9 years.

Chuck Norris's beard is barbed wire soaked in ox blood held together by the souls of mortals.

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.

Chuck Norris uses Tabasco sauce as eye drops.

Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Chuck Norris can use 50 Cent as a form of currency.
Laughing

El Paso, TX

#11 Dec 2, 2010
tomas wrote:
01-Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
02-Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
03-Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
04-If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
05-Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
06-When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
07-Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
08-Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
09-They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take **** from anybody.
10-A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
Orale tomas get your *** out of la la land you mamsy pansy.
Jackdaniels

Milpitas, CA

#12 Dec 2, 2010
Who cares?
Petro

El Paso, TX

#13 Dec 2, 2010
If I ever see him with that stupid hat on, Im going to kick his A55.
Honor

El Paso, TX

#14 Dec 2, 2010
BFD! His "Honorary" Texas Ranger Badge, his toy gun, and $1.00 will get him a cup of coffee at McDonalds! He's now a proud member of the same bunch of clowns that was guarding the Governor's Mansion when it was torched.
tray eastside el paso

El Paso, TX

#15 Dec 2, 2010
chuck norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

chuck norris CAN believe it's not butter

chuck norris can divide by zero

chuck norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego

chuck norris once challenged lance armstrong in a "whos has more testicles" contest. chuck won by 5.

chuck norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.

time waits for no man. unless that man is chuck norris.

chuck norris can win a game of connect four in only 3 moves.
citizen

El Paso, TX

#16 Dec 2, 2010
After a night of drinking, Chuck Norris doesn't throw up, he throws down.

Since: Apr 09

Norfolk, VA

#17 Dec 2, 2010
Honor wrote:
BFD! His "Honorary" Texas Ranger Badge, his toy gun, and $1.00 will get him a cup of coffee at McDonalds! He's now a proud member of the same bunch of clowns that was guarding the Governor's Mansion when it was torched.
That was a renovation.
Watchman

United States

#18 Dec 3, 2010
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in manslaughter.

Chuck Norris can make a triangle with two right angles.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris has already done what Nike wants you to do.

Chuck Norris is the life of parties he doesn't attend.

Chuck Norris knows why the caged bird sings.

Chuck Norris can kill death.

On his birthday, Chuck Norris selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

Hell waits for Chuck Norris to freeze over.

Chuck Norris can delete the Recycle Bin

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