DC clergy torn on defying same-sex ma...

DC clergy torn on defying same-sex marriage rules

There are 18 comments on the media.www.districtchronicles.com story from Apr 5, 2010, titled DC clergy torn on defying same-sex marriage rules. In it, media.www.districtchronicles.com reports that:

In this city, the Rev. Mary Kay Totty can now marry same-sex couples. But in the United Methodist Church, the denomination that ordained Totty two decades ago, that act could get her defrocked. Totty, 46, said she's willing to take the risk.

"The institutional church has for so many years oppressed and excluded and harmed our lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender sisters and brothers," Totty said. "We have to say, `enough already. These are people's lives and loves that we continue to exclude from the fullness of life in the church.'"

Join the discussion below, or Read more at media.www.districtchronicles.com.

“Love thy neighbor!”

Since: Dec 06

Westland , MI

#1 Apr 5, 2010
Well, you see what happened to Janie in California. The church has her up on charges a second time. I would hate to see Rev. Totty kicked out when she could better make changes from within. I am in Methodist affirming church. We have a monthly Rainbow meeting, and there are other activities for gays in the congregation. BUT, we can't get married there. We had to get married in a different church.
Thats Right

Tracy, CA

#2 Apr 5, 2010
I dont understand SSM. Im not closed minded, I just dont relate to 2 people of the same sex wanting to get married. Besides what about the kids? ALL kids need a parent of a different sex to learn from. Totty is gonna be defrocked for sure. Most people also do not understand SSM as evidenced everywhere except maybe S.F. 97% of animals, including humans, are not monogamous and the other 3% also desire to fool around so why get married in the first place? For the heck of it? Brainwashed? Nuts?
Frank Stanton

Saratoga Springs, NY

#3 Apr 5, 2010
I'm a Lutheran (ELCA), and have been searching for the past 9 months for a church to join. I have visited 14 churches multiple times in the past few months, and when I asked the pastor of each church if an openly gay person such as myself would be welcome to join the church, EVERY pastor said, "Of course !"

To all the people who seem to have the mistaken belief that all Christian churches condemn and reject gay people, this has certainly not been my experience.

In fact, I have met quite a few openly gay pastors, male and female.

Since: May 09

Marin County, CA

#4 Apr 5, 2010
Thats Right wrote:
I dont understand SSM. Im not closed minded, I just dont relate to 2 people of the same sex wanting to get married. Besides what about the kids? ALL kids need a parent of a different sex to learn from. Totty is gonna be defrocked for sure. Most people also do not understand SSM as evidenced everywhere except maybe S.F. 97% of animals, including humans, are not monogamous and the other 3% also desire to fool around so why get married in the first place? For the heck of it? Brainwashed? Nuts?
what's it to ya?

What business is it of YOURS why two people would choose to be married and join their lives together as one?

Look at the broader picture here. Two adults are capable of making their own decisions and if they choose to be married - who are you or anyone else to say they can't???

Nobody is telling you the same things you just wrote here about your own personal choice to marry or not, are they? Perhaps if they did, you'd understand how wrong your post is.

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#5 Apr 6, 2010
Reverend,

Follow your church's rules ...

... or ...

Open your own wedding chapel ...

... or ...

Join with other ostracised clergy in the formation of a greater communion.

Since: Apr 07

Philadelphia, PA

#6 Apr 6, 2010
The church *has* no authority. Why are people so stupid? Please, why are people so stupid.

Here's you: Watch this.

Here's you: You're in a relationship with someone and they demand that you do things their way, or they'll kick you out. MANY PEOPLE would be quick to see their own way through the door. Suddenly,

with religion,

by magic,

people accept this LITERALLY ABUSIVE relationship and allow themselves to be cowed by dogma that is *incorrect, evil harassment*.

Makes no sense to me. Zero. None. Zip. Nada. Zilch.

Only stupid filth harasses and attempts to speak with authority, attempts to *force* others to live by lies and misrepresentations.
Disgusted American

Philadelphia, PA

#7 Apr 6, 2010
Rev. Totty should just join the UCC, and fulfill her need to help everyone!
Frank Stanton

Saratoga Springs, NY

#8 Apr 6, 2010
Disgusted American wrote:
Rev. Totty should just join the UCC, and fulfill her need to help everyone!
I'm UCC. You make that sound like a bad thing.
Spider

Alpharetta, GA

#9 Apr 6, 2010
Thats Right wrote:
I dont understand SSM. Im not closed minded, I just dont relate to 2 people of the same sex wanting to get married. Besides what about the kids? ALL kids need a parent of a different sex to learn from. Totty is gonna be defrocked for sure. Most people also do not understand SSM as evidenced everywhere except maybe S.F. 97% of animals, including humans, are not monogamous and the other 3% also desire to fool around so why get married in the first place? For the heck of it? Brainwashed? Nuts?
Whoosh! You're all over the place with unrelated issues.

It would be helpful if you could break the issues out into separate posts so we can address your concerns.

Please state whether you have a male or a female body (the body you live inside of; not the one in the freezer)

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#10 Apr 6, 2010
Thats Right wrote:
I dont understand SSM. Im not closed minded, I just dont relate to 2 people of the same sex wanting to get married. Besides what about the kids? ALL kids need a parent of a different sex to learn from. Totty is gonna be defrocked for sure. Most people also do not understand SSM as evidenced everywhere except maybe S.F. 97% of animals, including humans, are not monogamous and the other 3% also desire to fool around so why get married in the first place? For the heck of it? Brainwashed? Nuts?
You seem to be open-minded, somewhat informed, and pretty honest about your questions.

Since: Jan 08

Bangkok, Thailand

#11 Apr 6, 2010
Thats Right wrote:
I dont understand SSM. Im not closed minded, I just dont relate to 2 people of the same sex wanting to get married. Besides what about the kids? ALL kids need a parent of a different sex to learn from. Totty is gonna be defrocked for sure. Most people also do not understand SSM as evidenced everywhere except maybe S.F. 97% of animals, including humans, are not monogamous and the other 3% also desire to fool around so why get married in the first place? For the heck of it? Brainwashed? Nuts?
While I think most gays that get married get married because they honestly love their partner and feel that marriage is the best way to express that love, let's not forget about the over 1,000 legal advantages that our government gives to married couples!

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#12 Apr 6, 2010
Dubya,

Embodied in those "legal advantages" are powerful mechanisms of protection from oppression.

Since: Mar 07

Washington DC

#13 Apr 6, 2010
To Rev. Totty and all the others embroiled:

I'm a Marriage Officiate in DC. If you want to send same-sex couples my way to avoid controversy in your church, please feel free! I'm more than happy to help my LGBT brethren tie the knot!

Since: Jun 09

Saint Louis, MO

#15 Apr 6, 2010
Thats Right wrote:
ALL kids need a parent of a different sex to learn from.
My mom died when I was young. Should THAT have been illegal? I think I turned out okay with one gender of parenting.

Are you going to make it illegal for unmarried women to have children? Are you going to make it illegal to get a divorce? Illegal to die before your kids are 18?
Thats Right

Tracy, CA

#16 Apr 6, 2010
snyper wrote:
<quoted text>
You seem to be open-minded, somewhat informed, and pretty honest about your questions.
Thank you, I really am being sincere and would not waste anyone's, including my own, time. This is a touchy subject and I dont feel comfortable talking about this subject openly with people I know because they are either for it or against it and just leave it at that. Here on this forum I feel that people might help me understand better. I do laugh at the posts that take out their anger towards me because I understand that if they knew me or knew my profession they wouldnt believe what they are saying so thats OK. I have 2 good friends who are Revs in the UCC that they founded themselves, I have nothing against good people and thats why I have tried for so many years to understand this topic, the reason being that I work very closely with various populations and try to understand all that I can. I also appreciate that many of the posters here want to get their input but in no way did I mean to start anything other than a good conversation.
Thats Right

Tracy, CA

#17 Apr 6, 2010
Barney Stinson wrote:
<quoted text>
My mom died when I was young. Should THAT have been illegal? I think I turned out okay with one gender of parenting.
Are you going to make it illegal for unmarried women to have children? Are you going to make it illegal to get a divorce? Illegal to die before your kids are 18?
Im sorry you lost your mom at an early age, my niece also lost her mom (my sister) at an early age and I have seen her suffer so much and never get over it. She just now also lost her dad.
No, I would never think it illegal for any of the things you mentioned and I never mentioned that anything should be illegal in my post. lol.

“Married as I can be!”

Since: Jun 07

Las Vegas

#18 Apr 6, 2010
Thats Right wrote:
I dont understand SSM. Im not closed minded, I just dont relate to 2 people of the same sex wanting to get married. Besides what about the kids? ALL kids need a parent of a different sex to learn from. Totty is gonna be defrocked for sure. Most people also do not understand SSM as evidenced everywhere except maybe S.F. 97% of animals, including humans, are not monogamous and the other 3% also desire to fool around so why get married in the first place? For the heck of it? Brainwashed? Nuts?
What's to understand? Two people love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together. They also want their new family protected by the rights and benefits that accompany civil marriage in this country. So they make their commitment public in an act of marriage, just like heterosexual people do. Pretty simple, right?

As far as the raising of children is concerned, there are no studies that even imply that children need both a male and a female as parents to succeed and be happy. In fact, most studies have concluded that children of gay parents do at least as well as their counterparts raised in a two-heterosexual-parent household, and sometimes better. All of the studies seem to conclude that while having two parents is better than having one parent, the genders of the parents is irrelevant. What IS important is that, if there are two parents, they have a loving and supportive relationship. Recent studies have also shown that it is important to the child that the parents be married, regardless of the parents' sexual orientation and gender.

If it is your desire to stay unmarried, that is your choice. However, you have no right to deny that option to others.
Disgusted American

Philadelphia, PA

#26 Apr 7, 2010
Frank Stanton wrote:
<quoted text>
I'm UCC. You make that sound like a bad thing.
I did not intend to make it sound like a bad thing at all...just at the UCC - she would not be Impeded by Bias/and church dogma BS - thats all.

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