Other "TOP STORIES" slots that are almost as deserving as Harry -- the Casey Anthony saga (will there be a "reality show"?! Youbetcha!) and, of course, the NBA.
Meanwhile, there's that boring war and occupation in Iraq... What? You thought we'd pulled out all our troops? No, silly, those were just "combat troops." We still have close to 40,000 "potato peeler" troops there, along with "potato peeler advisers" and "potato peeler contractors"... And we're still bringing them home, two or three at a time. Sometimes three-and-a-half at a time.
And Libya. Nothing new happening in Libya? Guess not.
What about Afghanistan? Same old same old. Withdraw 10,000, send in Special Forces to fill the "security gap."
Oh, and the September 11 attacks was a false flag operation.
Oh, and Federal agencies are trafficking in guns to Mexican drug cartels (see OPERATION FAST AND FURIOUS), and people are dying, but Harry Potter saved reading, and Casey Anthony is not guilty, and TOPIX is helping us get our priorities straight.
Oh, and apparently the Oklahoma City bombing is not what most people thought it was, and the FBI is STILL refusing to release surveillance video from the Murrah Federal Building (it seems the FBI is in the habit of starting up secret files, where it puts everything it doesn't want the public or defense attorneys or even prosecuting attorneys to know... They used to call them "June Files," then "I-Drives," then "S-Files"... It's no wonder they can't fulfill those "Freedom of Information Act" requests that Jesse Trentadue has been submitting...(Jesse Who?)...
NOW, BACK TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAM!!