You stopped thinking beyond your Catholic religion when you re-entered it with the belief that "What the heck ... it offers me salvation while others go to hell, so I'll just stay right here and dwell in the mushiest scriptures that I LOVE the best ... especially the part about wonderful, special ME being chosen by Jesus to dwell forever with him in eternal bliss."
You are as close to brain-dead as it gets without somebody pulling the plug.
Vanity of vanities, all is vanity.
If one does not seek Truth, then they will not find It.
The Light shines THROUGH the darkness....