Hi Ironman, I was very touch by your testemony. In fact it bought tears to my eyes.SHORT VERSION
I was destroying my life,friends, and family! I reached the end of my rope! I was so tired of suffering which I brought on myself. I was in tromendious pain. I couldn't sleep, eat, and I had just lost several friends, young friends under 30 yrs. old! I went to my Mom for comfort and finally decided to hear her out! I told her either I left home or I would die! I knew death was a reality even more so with the way I was living. I was broken, hollow, and ready to give up! I allowed my mother to pray over me. I had exhausted all other answers and this was a desperate plea for help! I remember feeling better as she prayed it was very odd but comforting. I also remember getting on a plane to florida and crying my eyes out! I was so tired ans lost. An elderly couple saw the hurt and pain in my eyes and asked if I knew Jesus as my lord and savior. They said nothing of negative influence. They showed compassion, love, and I saw they had peace as did others before them! I had nothing to lose at that point. I didn't know why they were so confident or peaceful but I wanted what they had. I then arrived in florida and stayed with my Uncle where he continued to influence me toward Jesus and ultimately my salvation! I decided I would give inn instead of giving up! I sought God with every ounce of my being! I prayed day and night. Fasted and continued to search! Well, One day I decided to end my suffering and prayed that God would send me help. AT THAT moment a man rang the doorbell and asked again if I accepted Jesus as lord and savior. I for the first time invited him inn! I was tired of fighting, being angry, and dispite everything I'd believed in the past, I decided to give God a chance. Threw this ordeal there were numerious occations God revealed himself. It came threw others several different denominations of Gods people whether they knew it or not is beyond me. Finally, I was at church and something happened! I went up for prayer and I remember saying if this is not of you Lord I will not fake anything! I will not fall, laugh, or do anything unless you cause it! Well, I closed my eyes. I was very receptive and as this pastor prayed for me never touching me I seriously saw flashes of light while my eyes were closed. I couldn't believe it and in an instant I felt different. There was no longer any doubt I knew God was real and I had experienced something I thought impossible! I stepped out in faith, I later discovered, and God was there for whatever reason! I felt so Good, peaceful, but at the same time Sad disappointed in myself. I was so ashamed of myself for not believing in God and for all the things I had said in the past! I would say GOD isn't real, I don't believe in him bc I can't see him and lots of other nasty things. I now had gone from not believing in him to knowing he was there. I became a different person selfless, loving, dependent on God, helpful to others, as I wanted to share what I'd experienced with others. I knew I couldn't do anything it was up to God but I could plant the seeds of faith and believe God would water those seeds in due time! This is what happened to me and I knew God would do the same for others. I learned that to be like God I had to be loving most importantly. To my neighbors, friends, and even to those I disliked. I sought forgiveness from others but I was having a hard time forgiving myself as I do now! I can forgive others easily but as for myself not so easy! Anyway, I had become a knower not believer! I know God exsists and he loves us even if we don't know it! ANY QUESTIONS I WOULD BE HAPPY TO ANSWER! I CAN'T WRITE EVERYTHING BUT I KNOW GOD IS REAL HE LOVES US AND HIS SON DIED FOR US THAT WE MIGHT NOT PERISH BUT HAVE EVERLASTING LIFE! LOVE IS THE KEY!!!!!!