Whoa. Are you saying I'm Catholic because I'm afraid of something? What is it, death?<quoted text>
When one becomes afraid or unwilling to assume total respnsibility for your own life, one who prays for permission to continue living, than you're a perfect match for organized religion. CONGRATULATIONS!
Maybe that describes you and your reasons for leaving the Church. Perhaps you feel that if you can somehow demean the Church every single day, you can feel better about your choice.
(that annoying pillar of faith reminds too many people of the Truth in Jesus Christ)
For the record, I'm not Catholic because I read anything. I'm Catholic for lots of reasons, but especially because of the Holy Eucharist. I knew from a very early age there was something special about it. And I never even believed it was the actual body and blood until I was in my twenties.