8 Detroit-area priests named 'Monsign...

8 Detroit-area priests named 'Monsignor' by Pope Benedict XVI

There are 1 comment on the Detroit Free Press story from Dec 27, 2012, titled 8 Detroit-area priests named 'Monsignor' by Pope Benedict XVI. In it, Detroit Free Press reports that:

Pope Benedict XVI has bestowed upon eight Detroit-area priests the title of monsignor, considered an honor to recognize their service to the Roman Catholic Church locally and beyond.

Join the discussion below, or Read more at Detroit Free Press.

Jacob

Auckland, New Zealand

#1 Dec 28, 2012
Take the
Cool Person Test

The nervous priest

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."

So next Sunday he took the monsignors advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:

Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
There are 10 commandments, not 12.
There are 12 disciples, not 10.
Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.
David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.
We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T".
When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me."
The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry."
The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yeah God.
Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Pope Benedict XVI Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
News Roman Catholic church only true church, says Va... (Jul '07) 16 min kent 679,126
News What Divides Catholics and Protestants? (Apr '08) 3 hr Barmsweb 84,702
News What is up with that strange photo of President... 8 hr Pope Closet Emeritus 9
News Pope's Egypt visit offers chance to improve Cat... 22 hr BB Board 1
News Why Melania Trump covers her head one day and n... Fri True Christian wi... 1
News United House of Prayer for All People: Bishop's... (Apr '08) May 24 Apostolic of anot... 10,545
News How the war-of-words between Trump and Pope Fra... May 23 WhollyConcrete 8
More from around the web