Slouching Towards Hollywood: Jack's l...

Slouching Towards Hollywood: Jack's lack of zest dooms 'Boating'

There are 2 comments on the Las Cruces Sun-News story from Feb 3, 2011, titled Slouching Towards Hollywood: Jack's lack of zest dooms 'Boating'. In it, Las Cruces Sun-News reports that:

Philip Seymour Hoffman is a dull limo driver who fails to make a connection with the audience in Jack Goes Boating.

Join the discussion below, or Read more at Las Cruces Sun-News.

Just My Opinion

Albuquerque, NM

#3 Feb 3, 2011
Give me a cassette over a CD anyday of the week. You can barely look wrong at a cd for it screw-up, throw a cassette against a wall and you're still good to go!

Las Cruces, NM

#4 Feb 3, 2011
This movie was was incredible.

Watching it was like exploring the silent concussion an expletive in church. No one really cares, but everyone pretends it's a big deal and you have to suffer over it for an hour and a half until you feel properly guilty and worthless.

This ninety minute earth shattering look at urban ennui will smash over you like ripples in a duck pond.

When our random overweight limo driver in New York suddenly, after years of physical neglect and general mental torpidity, develops an amazing penchant for self-improvement you will be glued to the screen.

Who cares where Jack comes from. Who cares why he suddenly cares. Who cares why his story is worth of telling. It's getting told and it's getting told with all the thunder of a coma.

You will watch in helpless thrall. The parallels to you own life will be stunning.

Jack, like you, thinks that life will happen to you if you're a good enough person. You too believe that if you put out enough positive vibes with a reggae filled Walkman, the world will be kind and generous. Eventually.

We do, after all, live in the best of all possible worlds. And because we live in the best of all possible worlds, things more often than not turn out for the best.

All you have to do is learn to cook, swim, and occasionally smoke hash. This will lead to timid and stiff sexual encounters that penetrate the soul harder than a BB gun. It will give you the wings to inhabit scenes with all the intensity of an E-bay oil-on-canvas still life by a college art major. Something like a pear and orange peelings next to a ceramic bowl, or impressionist flowers in a vase by the window.

Let's not forget our lead female character who also has a stunningly inoffensive absence of backstory. You will empathize deeply with this character. She matters because she's socially awkward and willing to sleep with our moribund limo driver.

Right about the time Jack began staring into space like a zombie in the Harlem pool, take five tranquilizers and you'll understand the theme.

You aren't supposed to claw your way through life. Hungry. Passionate. On fire for art. You're supposed to wallow through it like a water buffalo. You're supposed to trust things will work out if you learn an epicurian recipe from a spicy Italian guy who screwed your best friend's wife.

Innocent, bloodless, chaste and timid love is the only worthy love.

Too much fire and your relationship is doomed. Don't question it. It's biblical truth. Ambitious women are all insufferable, domineering harpies. Find a passionate woman and you're really screwed.

Successful relationships specialize in tender moments that never reach their eyes, sitting around on sterile Ikea furniture, and reading The New Yorker in a cookie cutter home next to the golf course behind a gate.

If you live it right the crumbling wall of your failed life will never penetrate the crysalis of your mediocrity.

Enroll in a few underwater basket weaving classes, or attend the occasional PTA meeting, Then you are worthwhile. It doesn't matter if you're doing barely something. With the proper insulated detachment, you can make a difference in the world by pushing yourself to the minimum.

Be comfortable with compromise. You don't need a radical change. You need swimming lessons.

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