The true story behind the lyrics to Smells Like Teen Spirit

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Trumpelstilt

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Jun 17, 2007
 

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I am from Canada, originally born in England.
I was an aspiring song writer from 16 years old. I was singer for a 4 piece punk band when I was 17, but it did not work out. My sisters became jealous and made my life hell ,(as they had done to my older brother, who was also a singer and an actor in local theater productions)
As for my early singing career, I was immature, and lacked the confidence . We did one talent show in front of about four hundred people, and I did not enjoy it due to the pressure that I was under at home and due to my immaturity. I especially enjoyed the creativity of making up original songs with my best friend and the guitarist of the band.
Two of the other band members including my best friend were far more poised and experienced than I was. The band broke up because frankly I could not cut it , and my friend was too stubborn to find someone else. I had stage fright, and I was new to singing, which did not help matters, so the talent show pretty much ended things for me.
My interest in songwriting continued for a couple of years afterward, and I traveled the country doing different jobs after leaving home at 19. I kept writing sporadically. I still had a dream of becoming a singer and devoted myself to physical fitness. When I was 21, I was in fantastic shape and I felt that I almost looked like a rock star, due to the interest the ladies showed in me. I was working a menial job at a huge gothic hotel in the Rocky Mountains, and my interest in song writing returned. There were a huge number of young women working at the hotel in different capacities, and I definitely got my share of attention due to my physical appearance. I was macrobiotic and vegetarian at that time, lean, good hair , excellent health. I swam , ran, and most importantly did a lot flexibility training. I was almost as flexible as a professional dancer, but still a bit shy due to the adversity of my previos life experience.(long story) I still remembered my scary experience at 17 singing before a crowd, but now I was four years older, much stronger, more experienced, and had developed my singing technique over the years. I began writing again and getting excited about becoming a singer. I would go to bars with live bands and chat with the band members between sets, etc.
continued.....
Trumpelstilt

Oshawa, Canada

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Jun 17, 2007
 

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I had been writing new stuff in the previous week, and reluctantly agreed to show one of my poems/songs to a young woman I found myself seated with in the massive staff dining room, which seated 300 people. She seemed to enjoy my apprehension as to her reaction to the poem , and was enthusiastic about it. She spent the entire meal bombarding me with questions about myself. I should have been flattered , but I was arrogant at that age, and used to female attention. She asked me to bring more of my poems to her room in the staff annex that evening, and I got cold feet about going to see her. Truth be told , I had not enjoyed my dinner with her that much. She was a couple of years older, and had seemed really confident for no particular reason, and it dawned on me that I had learned nothing about her during the entire meal. I imagined that my evening visit with here would be more of the same, with me answering questions and trying to impress her all evening.
I was sexually inexperienced at that point in my life, and easily intimidated.
I resolved not to go over there, but to keep my promise, I made some copies of the poems and slid them under her door. Her room was on the same floor as my room at the very end of a long hall, and right near the fire exit stairwell, so as soon as I slid the poems under the door, I escaped down the stairs and away. Returning to my room , I had to circle the outside of the building and felt both lonely and ashamed of what I had done. How would I ever be a singer if I could not handle being the center of attention? Worse , it was a Friday, and I had just blown a chance to get some female contact and faced a weekend alone in my room........
Trumpelstilt

Oshawa, Canada

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Jun 17, 2007
 

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Feeling depressed, I lolled around the staff canteen briefly, and ironically saw some young musicians carrying guitars and hockey bags up the stairs . I made my way up to my room, and I had to pass these guys in the hall, standing directly across from my room. A very pretty young girl and a female friend , was fumbling with the keys to her room, with the two musicians and their bags and guitars. They looked calmer and happier than me.
The musicians stayed with the girls the entire weekend in their tiny staff bunk quarters, and I could hear them occasionally laughing and playing the guitar. By the second night I was really getting angry with myself for being alone, not knowing guitar, and being such a copout. I envied those guys, and then I thought of the situation I had just avoided; Having to entertain the woman, and I thought of them stuck in that small room probably putting on a big show for these girls all weekend, and maybe not really enjoying it all that much. I thought about what I had felt with stage fright in that talent show, and what life would truly be like as a celebrity. You would be expected to be the star in every setting, and the people around you would just gawk at you. Imagine how boring that would be, when everyone around you centers on you, and add nothing except voyeuristic questions all the time. It was bad enough for me just due to my appearance and aspirations.
I started to write an article about how I thought people were getting more and more like that, voyeurs who demanded to be entertained without putting out, and how I thought that people raised on watching television were probably the worst of all.
The article was an angry one about how this was extending into social circles, with what I believed to be an imabalance of power between the sexes, where in western culture the men were expected to put on a show (not like the arabs who had ten wives, feet rubbed, belly dancers etc.) It even got into how this power was being perverted sexually, so that part of an evenings entertainment might be in the sheer pleasure of attracting and then rejecting someone, or humiliating them sexually, etc.....
I remember the lines,'another social opportunity to settle smugly back for the evening as though settling down for an evening of watching television', or 'deliberately attract the male, and like he were a mosquito attempting penetration, squish it just for the pleasure of it.' I also mentioned how some western women were drawn to other cultures to escape this pattern, and how they would lead a double life of power over the male in our society, while submitting to interracial domination at the hands of minorities. I was an angry young man, but that is what rockers tend to be, at least the good ones.
Trumpelstilt

Oshawa, Canada

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Jun 17, 2007
 

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It was a well written and articulate article, which I must have edited and rewritten at least three times by the time it was finished, and I titled it 'To the Women of Western Society'.
It was very clearly printed , double-spaced, on about four sheets of paper.
When It was finished. I was so pleased with it that I was itching to show it to someone, but some of the ideas contained in it were so explosive and potentially volatile that I hardly knew what to do with it. I toyed with the idea of posting it on the wall in the hallway, but feared my handwriting might be recognized. Then I thought of what the reaction of the musicians across the hall 'entertaining' their hosts would be. I knew they would love it. It had been written with them entirely in mind.
I went out of my room and across the hall and listened at the doork, andI could hear them all still inside , coughing and barking back and forth, I slid it under their door and darted silently back into my room. It was dead quiet , and I heard someone open up their door, and come out into the hall. Then I heard rustling papers as someone stood reading what had been sent them, and probably looking both ways down the hall to try to find who had placed it there.
After a moment someone else, the other male, came out and murmered 'what is it?' The question went unanswere for another moments, and then a whisper 'Just a sec', then I heard a final shuffle of the papers and the other voice say, a little louder: "Here. Everyone in the country should read this." The original reader probably handed the article over to the other person in the hall at that point. It was said loud enough that I heard it clearly. It was a moment I knew I would never forget.'Everyone in the country should read this.' I stored it in memory, the way you sort of repeat something mentally , three or four times, to mark it as important.
I was elated.
I think this person guessed it might have been me inside the room right across the hall, as we had made eye contact as I entered my room the night before, and may have guessed that the only way to get away that fast and that quietly was to go into the doorway directly across the hall.

Anyway, I tried to sleep early, as I was intensely into health and got a minimum of ten hours sleep per night, but I had trouble falling asleep. I imagined both of their reactions to the article, how it would affect them , and how they would act with their lady hosts after having read it. Then I imagined them writing a song about it and singing it to the girls. Then as I still could not sleep, I began to imagine what the verses of the song would be. I lay there in the dark for a good hour writing the verses in my head and that was it .
I had to write it down. I snapped on the light and stayed up another two hours writing and editing and rewriting the verses. Something about the process of remembering an important moment so recently imbued the whole thing. I knew intuitively how many times to repeat a line, and that took on a rythm. I had the anger of the article in the song, and even wrote directions on which parts to sing quietly and which to scream, with a refrain and chorus and verses, with directions written in the margins like 'building','louder','loud, and to make the rythm fit perfectly, I wrote some words with extended syllables, for example, the phrase 'makes me smile' became 'ma-akes me smile'.
In writing it this way, I was able to impart almost a tune to the words, as I was unable to write actual music.
A bit of truth. Bring your friends. It's fun to lose, and to pretend. She's overboard. And self-assured, I know, enough's a dirty word.
Trumpelstilt

Oshawa, Canada

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Jun 17, 2007
 

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When the song seemed complete, I fell asleep on such a high, with a tune in my head, thinking I had finally written something with some true meaning and passion. It was the first time I was truly, truly excited about something that I had written. There was a staff show er room at the end of every floor , and I had memorized the song by then. I ended up singing the song in the shower, loud enough to be heard by anyone using the nearby bathroom or sleeping in the rooms nearby, but the male and female bathrooms and custodians room etc. distanced them a bit. I remember back then I was in the habit of barring the door to the shower room for privacy.(It was one of those communal showers like a prison or a
YMCA where everyone showers together, and I liked to go very early in the morning to shower alone and often wedged the door shut so that anyone else coming to shower would think it was locked for cleaning and use the shower room on one of the other floors. This day, I went a bit later in the morning than usual, and I jammed the door shut, but could not control my impulse to sing. This must have aroused someones curiosity, because they came to shower, and when they found the door wedged closed began hammering on the door.
I ignored it and kept singing. Finally they kicked it open and came in angrily , fully dressed and said " Am I interrupting something?"
Trumpelstilt

Oshawa, Canada

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Jun 17, 2007
 

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After I left the shower , it drove home to me how I would be putting myself on display, how I was not scared so much of bad reaction or failure. It was something else. I was scared of success. Something about the power of it frightened me, the certainty of its power, and how it would transform my life.
I have heard stories of songwriters who have written famous songs and knew then and there, with certainty, that the song would succeed, that they had finally nailed it. This was for me my moment of realization, and I knew that I was not prepared for what this would do to me.
I could not withstand the scrutiny.

All I knew was that I did not want to turn myself into a spectacle and become the very thing that the song decried. An entertainer, a freak show, naked in the public eye. I had had the completed lyrics in my conscious possession for all of about two waking hours, and that was it, I decided to give away the lyrics, and the song was gone from life and forgotten.
Trumpelstilt

Oshawa, Canada

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Jun 17, 2007
 

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When I got out of the shower, I decided to give the song away, and give up singing forever, and I wrote another short verse on the back of the SLTS paper. I thought that anyone trying to do SMLTS would need more ammunition, something to bolster them, a bit of a combined peace treaty and call for support.
(intuitively I sensed the danger of the ideas in the article and in the song. I knew there would be conflict, and it would be hard.
It was a song called Memorabilia. It was about how I would feel about bringing attention on myself with such a powerful image, how I would want support, and fear attracting my old enemies, and ask nothing in return other than that the people who agreed with SMLTS would stand with me.
Come. AS you are. As you were. As I want you to be . AS a friend . As a trend. As an old enemy. Take your time . Hurry up . Choice is yours, don't be late. Take a rest. Take the best, as I know its Memorabilia. Memorabilia. Memorabilia. Memorabilia.
And I swear that I don't have a gun........
No I don't have a gun. No I don't have a gun.

Come. Doused in mud. Soaked in bleach. As I need you to be.
I loved the verse so much that I started tapping the table and singing it in my room. It was later in the morning, and I knew the people in the room across the hall had been up later than me the night before and were still in their room with the door open into the hall. I imagined that they might hear me singing and tapping
Trumpelstilt

Oshawa, Canada

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Jun 17, 2007
 

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The 'I don't have a gun' line was recognition of the dangerous territory SMLTS was going into, a way of saying: hey I am not looking to start anything here. But I also remember it having a double meaning for me when I wrote it. A 'pen is mightier than the sword' message. In other words, I was fully armed with such powerful stuff that I did not need a gun, and would not need one if those who agreed with me protected me.

These two songs were given to Cobain , and more importantly, the article. The article was really the true power of it. I knew that the article would forever change the thinking of just about anyone who read it. I have heard that for years before SMLTS came out on Nevermind, Cobain would go to parties and when he entered would say "HEre we are now. Entertain us!" I think Cobain went through exactly what I went through. Anxiety about doing the song, and fear of it. He had the lyrics for at least five years. He was also and essentially decent person, and honest. He knew it had been written that night by the same author of the article, and he did not want to do someone else's work. But he learned the song-writing technique from it. Write a story . Cut it down to verses. Include a chorus, a repeated refrain, and three or four verses.
He used this structure for the entire Nevermind album, in the songs that he penned himself. He hated SMLTS and Come AS You ARe after awhile because he had lied about writing them. He claimed his hatred of them was because they were popular.....
Trumpelstilt

Oshawa, Canada

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Jun 17, 2007
 

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the reality is that he hated SMLTS not just because his success was based on a lie, but because he was catching all the flack . Remember, in selling his soul that song, he accepted the whole consequences of it. In other words, he was taking both the credit for the song and the blame for it, and he hated both . He hated both the undeserved credit, and especially the undeserved blame. From the moment it came it out, he spent his life running from it. Some people thought SLTS meant that he was a white supremacist, and believe it or not many of his fans secretly hoped he was, and as a result it sold millions of records to angry white kids.
Some thought the opposite, that SMTS was about societal discrimination, and that Kurt was a progressive.
He was badgered with interviewers trying to nail him down on it. He was scared. He was at the center of a hurricane of anger and confusion. He could not come out and directly say either: yes, the song is about my anger about feminism, political correctness, and interracial sex, or: yes, the song is about how society labels people in various ways as mulattos, albinos, and gays. I am secretly bi, my libido is being attacked, and I stand with the progressives and the feminists. Either stance would have destroyed the momentum, by alienating one side or another.
His only option was to refuse to answer the questions entirely, which was a brilliant strategy.
After the initial controversy and success of Nevermind, Cobain was bombarded with so much support from angry white men that it scared him. He found himself at the centre of a furious controversy bordering on armed revolution , and it scared the hell out of him. the record company decided to send Nirvana on a world tour, and promoted a live album, and Cobain added a blurb begging 'racists, sexists, and homophobes to stay the fuck away'.
With that record he completely fled the ideas contained in the article. I think he hated himself for this more than anyone can fathom. He suddenly found himself the rich coddled bisexual darling of the establishment, so high on heroine that he no longer feared death, and pulled the trigger to end the show. Here we are now . Entertain us. That is one theory on his death.

Another holds that he was killed, and that he was killed because the song SMLTS was truly a call to revolution and that as long as he stayed alive he would be considered a political problem, the energy would be there, Cobain a living symbol of defiance that had to be crushed. Cobain knew the political power he had. IF he ever changed his mind about being a progressive, and wanted to start a race war, he could. Maybe better to just kill him and solve the problem right there?

I am beginning to think Cobain wrote his followup record as both a confession and a goodbye. The lyrics are full of self hatred, depression, guilt. Phrases like aqua sea-foam shame, I'm a liar and a thief. Rape me. He was sick of it all.
Trumpelstilt

Oshawa, Canada

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Jun 17, 2007
 

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Cobain had essentially agreed with my article , that cannot be refuted. He said it himself:'this should be read by everyone in the country.' He kept the lyrics for five years. His life and work was influenced by it. But like me he feared it. He knew like I did , that it was explosive. Dangerous. People are killed for such things, to avoid larger problems down the road.
After Nevermind sold in the millions, Nirvana put out a live album with a blurb on the back begging people to leave them alone, with a progressive message of : if you are a racist or misogynist, please leave us the fuck alone
He agreed with the ideas in the article, but he did not want to
be associated with people who were wanting a war over it, or people who were taking things too far. He knew that would get him in all sorts of trouble. He would end up either dead, or his career would be destroyed. He was too successful to have his career 'blocked' at that point, so he would be killed. He knew it.
I think what disgusted him was that at that point, he received a landslide of 'progressive' accolades and support, and so many people redefined the lyrics to SLTS as being 'progressive'.
He had no option but to go along with it. Get rich, or be killed .
Pretty easy choice it would seem. But to have to live with the guilt of it, is something else entirely.
Heroin was his answer. When he tried to kick the drugs, the guilt would hit him hard. He had gone completely , irrevocably to the other side. Sold his soul. He needed the drugs to maintain the lie, but knew that the drugs were going to destroy him. H e was trapped. One night, maybe he got so high that death seemed not so scary, and he found a way out of the trap he'd created.

After the live record came out with the infamous 'progressive' blurb, Nirvana's career went supernova. They were in . THey were kosher. They toured the world. The vaults and mighty catacombs were unlocked. Suddenly limitless success exploded. Venues booked, publicity shoots, magazine features. The finest hotels, the best locations and dates and venues and cities. They toured the world bathed in the sun, the adulation of the progressive establishment, and Cobain despised every minute of it. He grew to hate the redefined songs, his new 'identity', and his success.
Trumpelstilt

Oshawa, Canada

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Jun 17, 2007
 

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Briefly back to what happened to me after the morning that I slid the lyrics under their door. I quit my job shortly afterward and moved back to Victoria, B.C.
My life unfolded over the next few years, and I suffered depression, a lack of direction. Everything that I had been psyching on and dreaming since the age of 16 seemed to be gone.
I lost interest in music, completely ignoring radio , MTV etc.
Five years later I decided to get back into my fitness regimen, and got a portable music player and decided to get something fast to run to. I went into a music store and there was a pretty goth chick working there behind the counter, with a bleached face and white hair, black lipstick etc. and I asked her for something fast to run to. I added that I had tried asking for advice on buying music before and it had not worked out, I had wasted money like this before and had once ended up with gay stuff recommended by a clerk who turned out to be gay. She laughed . I had no idea what to get, as I did not listen to radio. I wanted something new and good to go running with.
She guessed by my appearance the type of music that I would like and immediately she beamed and said, "If you get this, it will be worth it." She said it with such certainty and so quickly that I had to buy it. Nirvana: Nevermind
I started running again , and started watching the video channel, and saw the Nirvana video. I also bought Pearl Jam's first hit record a few weeks later. The Nirvana tape fascinated me
Trumpelstilt

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Jun 17, 2007
 

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Cobain did change some of the lyrics slightly to SMLTS, which was one of the reasons that I did not realize I had written it immediately when I bought the cassette and listened to SLTS for the first time. He also garbled some of the words, either deliberately or subconsciously, to hide from the writer, and refused to include a lyric sheet with it. Either way, it worked. I listened to the song five hundred times without clicking as to why it fascinated me so much, partially because I did not know most of the words to the song.
Whenever he was interviewed about lyrics he would downplay it saying things like: "the lyrics do not matter" ,etc. Does that sound like the writer of a classic hit rock song to you?
The most difficult part of this process for me is explaining to people why I did not immediately contact Nirvana and say hello hello hello hello. All I can do is retrace this , stream-of consciousness, exactly as it happened:
A couple of years ago I was thinking about why the song was so popular with kids, and the line 'with the lights out , its less dangerous' and it reminded of something. It reminded me of something sexual from my past, something that I had written about how young men used pornography in response to sexual repression,
how they expressed frustration by raping these images of women, and that modesty demanded that real sex be done in the dark, kept out of sight, etc., and that men felt pressure by women to 'perform' under such conditions, under control,'civilized'. and how markedly these sexual liasons differed from their pornographic fantasies. The article! With the lights out, its less dangerous, here we now , entertain us. The song! omg, the song!

And then bam, I remembered the night in the hotel staff annex, writing it. A year ago , I tried to keep this quiet, but find out if Cobain were ever in Banff, the same mountain ski resort town.
The closest I got to nailing it down is that Cobain was a roady for a Seattle called the Melvins in 1986, and that at times the band had traveled to VAncouver. Vancouver is right next to the rocky mountains, so I could concieve of the Melvins traveling with Cobain to Vancouver , and trying to find a gig in Banff, or of Cobain traveling with them to Vancouver and being told he could find hotel work in Banff easily and deciding to go there with a friend.
Trumpelstilt

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Jun 17, 2007
 

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This has been a very difficult process, because no one initially believes me, and second, many people hate me, due to his death etc. They think I am some insensitive liar. Or they do until I actually start to tell them the story, at which point many if not most realize it is true.
I tried this a year ago, on a Nirvana fan blog. I started out just trying it find out if Cobain had ever been in CAnada or known anyone who had been to Canada. Whenever I tried to find out more, I'd be hit with the question of 'why do you need to know this? what is so imporant about this? I cannot help you until I know why.' etc. Finally I had to come out with it. I made it clear that I was not interested in official recognition or money or anything . I just wanted the truth. I wanted to know exactly what had happened to my lyrics and how they ended up on Nevermind. I was overtly respectful of Cobain, insisting that he was the reason for its success, regardless of my writing it.
I spent a full week on that blog answering questions, fielding insults, and also reading posts from people who believed me and supported me. I was eventually referred to some trivia expert known as Narduar or something and emailed him. From there it was a disaster. No one would say anything more, posts were being deleted, and I was warned by someone who said basically,'dude, even if what you are saying is true, forget about this, you'll save yourself a lot of hardship and anxiety. Let it be.' It was almost like a threat.
AFter that I was kicked off the site, and pilloried. The progressives despised what I described as the original meaning, as it was anathema to what they had been told, and the meaing tht Cobain himself had later fabricated while getting rich, doing drugs, and running from all the labels that the PC crowd wanted to pillory him with.
Trumpelstilt

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Jun 17, 2007
 

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I never met Cobain or talked to him. All I remember is seeing a young blonde man briefly in the hallway, and how he had a way of making eye contact that made you trust him and like him. He seemed to recognize something in me for a brief second too. A fellow rocker, he noticed me. I saw him with the guitar, and thought to myself: standing there is something that I am not, and he probably thought the same of me. I was a hard rock of solitude and strength and looked it, and both of us came from backgrounds of relatively extreme poverty by NA standards, yet there we both were. He had developed social skills, I had developed mind and body.

Cobain did not form Nirvana until a year or more later, but I am almost sure that my article and lyrics and just the sight of me, that moment that weekend , everything, are what inspired him to go on.
Trumpelstilt

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Jun 17, 2007
 

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I am interested to hear your reaction to all of this
or to answer any of your questions.

I searched high and low for the Nirvana fan blog that I told you about , where I posted this information a year ago. I thought I found the original site, but the threads were nothing like
I remembered them. I kept searching off and on for a couple of days, and finally reached the conclusion that I had indeed found the actual site days before, and then read further . In one of the 'about this site' threads, I found my answer. It said 'this site was created in 1997, thousands of members blah blah blah, unfortunately we suffered a setback last year and lost all of our data. We are back up fine now , please reregister'.
So there went all of my effort in explaining things and days of work wasted. I wonder if they were hacked because of my threads on there.

Anyway, now you know the full story of SMLTS. Whether you like it or not, it is the truth.
notyrmama

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Jun 18, 2007
 

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Very Interesting.
Very long but interesting.Truth being stranger than fiction, anything is possible. At one point I totally disbelieved but that'a a judgement and I do try ever so hard to stay away from those...You know what they say don't you...about judging...
My question remains, even moreso now.
Are you searching for the light or exploring the darkness.
Good luck!
Trumpelstilt

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Jun 19, 2007
 

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notyrmama wrote:
Very Interesting.
Very long but interesting.Truth being stranger than fiction, anything is possible. At one point I totally disbelieved but that'a a judgement and I do try ever so hard to stay away from those...You know what they say don't you...about judging...
My question remains, even moreso now.
Are you searching for the light or exploring the darkness.
Good luck!
Judge not, lest ye be judged!
At one point you totally disbelieved? Let me guess. I do know I made an error in referring to my original song as 'the SLTS paper', as I do not recall giving it a title, and know for a fact that Cobain named it some time afterward. In recounting my story and referencing the original as 'the slts paper', I referred to it as that only out of convenience , but admittedly, I realize my doing so sort of throws things out of whack.(unfortunately there is no 'edit post' option on this site) Another possible sticking point for some people is the 'Come As You Are' portion, which I intuitively know will be the point at which some people say,'uh, yeah right, you had me going for a minute, but if you think you can just keep making stuff up blah blah blah.......'
This story is as close to exact that I can remember these events, which happened over twenty years ago. If you like I can post and explain every single line of SLTS. That is, explain exactly what I was thinking at the very moment that I wrote the words, and why I chose those words. I remember it that clearly.
Trumpelstilt

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#18
Jun 19, 2007
 

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Answering the question of why I did not recognize my words when I heard them in SLTS for the first time is probably the biggest stumbling block of all. Like I said, Cobain changed the very first line of the song, which surely is part of what threw me off, but there WAS something vaguely puzzling me about the song, beneath the surface, from the first time I heard it, that was driving me nuts, which explains why I would still be thinking about the meaning of the song in 2005. I just never took a moment to really think about the meaning of the words, what it was communicating. Remember , Cobain's recording of it was made to be that way, the words are very difficult for most to hear, and even if they did hear them, difficult to understand for many people.
Trumpelstilt

Oshawa, Canada

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#19
Jun 19, 2007
 

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Probably the main reason is that I personally had changed so much in the preceding five years that I was virtually a completely different person.
I had completely tuned out music. When my interest in songwriting died, essentially my interest in the meanings of songs died along with it. Another thing that likely threw me off was the chaotic video that accompanied the song on MTV, which referenced virtually nothing directly in the song (ie: there was no albino in the video, nor a mulatto, nor an overbord woman) Again, we see a distancing and garbling and concealing at work here. Very little to jog the memory or call attention to the words there.
The main explanation for my amnesia, is probably exactly that . A form of amnesia, related to depression/traumatic stress disorder. I had been through a lot in those five years.
notyrmama

North Vancouver, Canada

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Jun 19, 2007
 

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Actually the one point in which I disbelieved was when you quoted lyrics from another song.
"And I don't have a gun". See I'm not a huge fan and can't quote all kinds of things about them or they're music. 10 years early for lollapalloza remember. However aren't the words from that song from a posthumous album, which if I understand correctly is exactly why some people don't believe Curt is dead at all but living somewhere with Jim Morrison or some shit. Assuming everything you stated is fact I can understand why you did not recognize the song at first as it is clear Curt didn't really want to sing the words clearly. You've made a provocative argument in any event. If you would care to comment on my intial apprehension about the other words to another song I'd love to understand further.
Thanks

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