Funny Michael Jackson Jokes

“Dark Lord of All.”

Since: Jun 13

The Untempered Schism.

#3080 Oct 1, 2013
Apple have announced they are bringing out a new electronic gadget in honour of Michael Jackson: The iTouchchildren.

“Dark Lord of All.”

Since: Jun 13

The Untempered Schism.

#3081 Oct 1, 2013
I see the Michael Jackson film has been rated PG.

Even after he's gone he can't be trusted alone with kids.

“Dark Lord of All.”

Since: Jun 13

The Untempered Schism.

#3082 Oct 1, 2013
I heard they were having to double the seating at Micheal’s funerals because children under 12 had to be accompanied by an adult.

“Dark Lord of All.”

Since: Jun 13

The Untempered Schism.

#3083 Oct 1, 2013
I genuinely feel sorry for Michael Jackson ‘s family. The decision to bury, cremate or recycle cannot be an easy choice to make.

“Dark Lord of All.”

Since: Jun 13

The Untempered Schism.

#3084 Oct 1, 2013
Doctors believe Michael Jacksons heart attack was due to a hereditary problem. They think its the result of a defective billy gene.

“Dark Lord of All.”

Since: Jun 13

The Untempered Schism.

#3085 Oct 1, 2013
And there there were 4…

“Dark Lord of All.”

Since: Jun 13

The Untempered Schism.

#3086 Oct 1, 2013
Angelina Jolie has paid her respects to the Jackson family and wants to know how much they want for the kids.

“Dark Lord of All.”

Since: Jun 13

The Untempered Schism.

#3087 Oct 1, 2013
The saddest part of thie Michael Jackson scandal was that all of this could have been avoided if he just stuck to grabbing his own crotch.

“Dark Lord of All.”

Since: Jun 13

The Untempered Schism.

#3089 Oct 1, 2013
Q: How do you spell scapegoat?

A: D- R- M- U- R- R- A- Y

“Dark Lord of All.”

Since: Jun 13

The Untempered Schism.

#3090 Oct 1, 2013
Q: What do Michael Jackson and the Detroit Tigers have in common?

A: They both wear one glove for no apparent reason.

“Dark Lord of All.”

Since: Jun 13

The Untempered Schism.

#3091 Oct 1, 2013
Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley?

A. About two dress sizes.

“Dark Lord of All.”

Since: Jun 13

The Untempered Schism.

#3092 Oct 1, 2013
Q: What were Lisa-Marie's newlywed complaints about Michael Jackson?

1. He leaves the lid off the mascara, causing it to dry out.
2. That battleaxe Liz Taylor never calls before she comes over.
3. She suspects he's using her to get to Elvis' bones.
4. He touches her kids more than he touches her.

“at yet more f'loonspin”

Since: Aug 11

I live far away from f'loons

#3093 Oct 1, 2013
Stormageddon wrote:
The saddest part of thie Michael Jackson scandal was that all of this could have been avoided if he just stuck to grabbing his own crotch.
*laughs*

That is sad...and true.

“at yet more f'loonspin”

Since: Aug 11

I live far away from f'loons

#3094 Oct 1, 2013
TripleH1976 wrote:
I'd love to see Rebecca and FOREVER MICHAEL duel it out for Michael's affection. That would be a riot.
So would I. The tragedy is while they were in the middle of their fight over who was going to win Michael's undying love, Michael would have been molesting their sons or nephews.
Rebecca

Dighton, MA

#3095 Oct 2, 2013
I defend Michael Jackson from all you jerks on here that cannot open your fucking ears. All dumb shits. No one going to ever tell me that Michael Jackson sexually abused boys because I will tell you something no he didn't. I will fight every inch of the way for this man. I will let you all have it on here. You'll never forget my name. How dare you people say hateful things about one amazing guy. Grow the hell up people your acting like brats. Poor Michael was picked on for his skin. How wrong that is of you people. The poor guy had a skin condition. Michael Jackson wasn't gay so let me get that through to you people. Michael was truly one amazing dad and no one will say different here. Just because Michael loved to be around children doesn't mean he was hurting them. He helped millions and gave so much love. Wish there were more people like MJ because this world would be such a beautiful place. Michael also touched my life just being apart of it. I fell totally in love with him the moment I looked into his eyes. He took my breath away with all that he did and said. When he smiled those brown eyes would glow and how amazing that was too see. I wish I could of been his girl. I would of loved to have been by his side through every single court hearing holding his hand and fighting with him. I would of loved to hold him and let him know he was truly loved. How I would of wiped away every tear that he cried and brought out a smile to his face. I would of loved to have made a baby with him. I see him to be the best man and a good father so why would I never think about wanting a baby with Michael. He made me smile. Only man that could. I am so honored to have Michael in my life. He is a true blessing. I know if he ever asked me out I would have dated him. I loved this guy not for music but for the man I saw him as. He made my life complete without him in my world my life would be empty. I know I will always love, protect and honor Michael Jackson. I thank him for all he did. This world without Michael blows. How badly I miss him. I wish he was here. God I do anything to have him back. He means so much to me. He is my world people. My heart beats everyday for him. He is what kept me going all these years. He really is my life. People your hearing from a women that is nuts about him and wants respect shown to him. People God is love. This isn't God's love when you are being hateful to a man who never did a thing wrong. I know children that are more grown up than you. My son not even 5 and it acts more grown up than you. Have a heart people his daughter comes on here. Don't hurt his child. No one should knock down a child's parent. Have some respect for Paris feelings. If you people don't you'll hear it from me. Those children were Michael's life so everyone knows so to say that he would kill himself is bullshit. Michael Jackson didn't overdose himself. The man was murdered. You people really think Michael would just want to die? No actually he wouldn't. He had children he loved that he would never leave behind. The news media can all fuck off. They live on lies that is how they make their shit ass money. Would be nice for once if those assholes could tell the truth. I believe only one person and that's only Michael Joseph Jackson. I know his word is to be true. I stand by him forever. Michael is my angel eyes. He has my heart and love with him forever. I love you Michael always.

Since: Jul 10

Osnabrück, Germany

#3096 Oct 2, 2013
Rebecca wrote:
He made my life complete without him in my world my life would be empty.
How sad ..

“Dark Lord of All.”

Since: Jun 13

The Untempered Schism.

#3097 Oct 2, 2013
Len is Disgusted wrote:
<quoted text>
So would I. The tragedy is while they were in the middle of their fight over who was going to win Michael's undying love, Michael would have been molesting their sons or nephews.
Too true.

“Dark Lord of All.”

Since: Jun 13

The Untempered Schism.

#3098 Oct 2, 2013
Rebecca wrote:
I defend Michael Jackson from all you jerks on here that cannot open your fucking ears. All dumb shits. No one going to ever tell me that Michael Jackson sexually abused boys because I will tell you something no he didn't. I will fight every inch of the way for this man. I will let you all have it on here. You'll never forget my name. How dare you people say hateful things about one amazing guy. Grow the hell up people your acting like brats. Poor Michael was picked on for his skin. How wrong that is of you people. The poor guy had a skin condition. Michael Jackson wasn't gay so let me get that through to you people. Michael was truly one amazing dad and no one will say different here. Just because Michael loved to be around children doesn't mean he was hurting them. He helped millions and gave so much love. Wish there were more people like MJ because this world would be such a beautiful place. Michael also touched my life just being apart of it. I fell totally in love with him the moment I looked into his eyes. He took my breath away with all that he did and said. When he smiled those brown eyes would glow and how amazing that was too see. I wish I could of been his girl. I would of loved to have been by his side through every single court hearing holding his hand and fighting with him. I would of loved to hold him and let him know he was truly loved. How I would of wiped away every tear that he cried and brought out a smile to his face. I would of loved to have made a baby with him. I see him to be the best man and a good father so why would I never think about wanting a baby with Michael. He made me smile. Only man that could. I am so honored to have Michael in my life. He is a true blessing. I know if he ever asked me out I would have dated him. I loved this guy not for music but for the man I saw him as. He made my life complete without him in my world my life would be empty. I know I will always love, protect and honor Michael Jackson. I thank him for all he did. This world without Michael blows. How badly I miss him. I wish he was here. God I do anything to have him back. He means so much to me. He is my world people. My heart beats everyday for him. He is what kept me going all these years. He really is my life. People your hearing from a women that is nuts about him and wants respect shown to him. People God is love. This isn't God's love when you are being hateful to a man who never did a thing wrong. I know children that are more grown up than you. My son not even 5 and it acts more grown up than you. Have a heart people his daughter comes on here. Don't hurt his child. No one should knock down a child's parent. Have some respect for Paris feelings. If you people don't you'll hear it from me. Those children were Michael's life so everyone knows so to say that he would kill himself is bullshit. Michael Jackson didn't overdose himself. The man was murdered. You people really think Michael would just want to die? No actually he wouldn't. He had children he loved that he would never leave behind. The news media can all fuck off. They live on lies that is how they make their shit ass money. Would be nice for once if those assholes could tell the truth. I believe only one person and that's only Michael Joseph Jackson. I know his word is to be true. I stand by him forever. Michael is my angel eyes. He has my heart and love with him forever. I love you Michael always.
Your some is almost 5? I'm sure Michael would have loved to meet him. If ya know what I mean...

“Dark Lord of All.”

Since: Jun 13

The Untempered Schism.

#3099 Oct 2, 2013
*son, rather.
FOREVER MICHAEL

UK

#3100 Oct 3, 2013
Your all just a bunch of clowns.I better not say your Jealous because the truth hurts.Michael is not guilty.he never touched boy.all just wicked gossip and lies..All Michaels ever done is helped children.and he raised millions through his heal the world foundation.he just cared.all Michael is
Love. And even all lies told in the court room.if Michael was there,I would be there holding his hand.and giving him a hug and never let him go
I will defend him,stand by him,and Michael knows Ill be there for him.Michael you will always have me to Love you.we are so proud of you.I adore you
You mean so much to me.Michael is my angel
Michael is my babe..and my sweetheart.and my sweet, sweet Michael.he is a sweet and wonderful man..hes a good man.. and he so gorgeous.with his flowing hair stunning beautiful eyes and beautiful face .and his sweet smile you just look at him and melt.and his sweet lips. Softly spoken voice.voice of an angel.put all his heart in to his song and writing.he is just a sweetheart he really is
He is just perfect in every way.what more could a girl want? Only to have you Michael back in our arms.as soon as you saw Michael I fell in Love with him .

(*miss you Michael every single second.every single.Minitue.every single hour and every single day.
(***MICHAEL JACKSON I LOVE YOU BABE***)
LOVE HUG KISS FOR MY SWEET MICHAEL

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