Fall From the Loft (almost the Whole Enchilada)
Posted in the Gary Chapman Forum
Both Grant and Gill offer to sign sworn affidavits, verifying that there was no physical relationship between the two of them. From the time of Gillís separation from Janis until Grantís separation from Gary, the two of them say that they have no contact with each other.
With the announcement of Grant and Chapmanís separation and subsequent divorce, the internet is full of gossip on all kinds of forums from people who claim to be in the know, either because they live in Nashville or are a friend of a friend of Amyís or Garyís or both. Her supporters stress that she lived through hell and that people in Nashville had known that their marriage wasnít a happy one, for years. She unknowingly married a drug addict, and when he decided to get clean in 1986, it was only because he was going to lose his wife if he didnít. Unsubstantiated claims of continuing addiction problems with alcohol and marijuana, possible infidelity on his part, and allegations of his temper and ego issues and profound jealousy over her greater success are what her side raises.
On his side, people state that Gary never wanted the divorce. He wanted to stay in the marriage. And even if Amy is telling the truth, and she and Vince have never had sex, what constitutes an extramarital affair? Do two people have to be physically intimate with each other in order for there to be adultery? It seems like a technicality. If your relationship with someone else sublimates the one you have with your spouse, isnít that also being unfaithful?
After the divorce, Grant marries Gill less than a year later. She stays largely silent about the media frenzy, commenting on her budding relationship with Gill but remaining quiet about her marriage to Chapman. Chapman gives interviews with magazines where he says that the evidence will bear out, and he admits to a bitterness and a hunger for justice. He says that Amy told him as early as 1995 that she was in love with another man. Despite his admitted issues with Grantís whirlwind courtship and remarriage, Chapman himself remarries four months later.
Itís amazing that people still have such strong opinions on a matter that is essentially none of their business, but they do. People, including Gary Chapman himself, still comment on the divorce on internet forums, over a decade after it happened. When Gary got a DUI and an arrest for marijuana possession in 2006 and then a divorce from his second wife in 2007, people on Team Amy were quick to point to it as if it were a sign from God that Amyís divorce was sanctioned by God.
Amy Grant and Gary Chapman are two people who happen to be Christians, who were participants in a failed marriage. None of us knows what went on behind closed doors. Amy and Gary are the only ones who know for sure what happened, and no doubt they each have their own perceptions that are equally truthful but wholly different.
Iím sure that Gary hurt Amy deeply, and Amy did the same to Gary. Infidelity is painful, and addiction is a kind of infidelity. An addict is in love with his drug of choice. Chapman was in love with cocaine the same way Amy was in love with Gill, and Iím sure that it was just as painful for Amy to play second fiddle to a line of cocaine or a bottle as it was for Gary to hear that his wife was in love with another man.
Christians are quick to judge in situations like this. We like to point fingers and assign fault and blame. We like to use these sins as excuses to question a believerís sincerity or authenticity. Sheís not a real Christian or she wouldnít behave that way. Heís not a believer; a real believer wouldnít need alcohol to fill a hole in his heart that should already be filled with the Spirit. What a crock!
Amy Grant and Gary Chapman are real, live, breathing human beings who make mistakes, not idols for us to place our unrealistic expectations on. It is not for us to decide their faith in God. Thatís between each of them and God.
Do you know the scripture about "the adulterous woman eats, wipes her mouth and says she has done no wrong? I will have to find this one.
I no longer need a book. This lays it all out. I don't believe that she and Gill had not contact during either of their divorces. There were times in 1998 where she looked like she had the glow of a newlywed. if she had given her heart to G., where did that glow come from ?
Where is that scripture, Buck? I'm waiting.
Does withholding sex from your husband for 5 years or more "release" you from your marriage?
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