Sasha Fierce Interviews: Ashanti
Posted in the Ashanti Forum
#1 Apr 13, 2009
Sasha dials number. Phone rings.It is answered.
Ashanti: Hello- Burger King this is Ashanti speaking- may I take your order.
Sasha: Can I have some curly fries, some jumbo milkshake and some relevance for yourself.
Ashanti: Excuse Me?
Sasha: It's Fierce- what's good with you.
Ashanti: Oh hey Sasha- I haven't seen you since you embarrased my ass at the 2003 VMAs- how you doing?
Sasha: The question is- HOW ARE YOU DOING. You haven't been relevant since I was firing bitches in Destiny's Child, you released a record that sold less than Kelly Rowland's, the only channel that plays your ish is BET and you still haven't had a world tour even though I've had 7 this decade.
Ashanti: Thanks for reminding me Sasha- times are hard especially with this recession- I thought my last record was going to be smash, because before I recorded it I went on message boards and Youtube and found that a lot of my fans were talking smack about you and Beyonce' and so I thought i had their support. However it seems as though my fans only support me up until its time to actually go out and buy my records so I can stay relevant. Instead they spend all their time thinking of innovative ways to get at you and B not realising that whilst they do that- YOUR fans are out buying what you put out.
Sasha: Oh girl that's terrible.
Ashanti: That ain't even the worst part- I had to get a job at Burger King because I've got a feeling I'm going to get dropped by my label and so to be on the safe side I got a job to bring in a little money.
Sasha: Tell me something- where your boss at?
Ashanti: He's on a lunchbreak- so i'm running the store.
Sasha: Wow- that's the only thing you're ever going to run- but Ashanti don't you have any qualifications or even endorsement deals- do you REALLY have to work at Burger King.
Ashanti: Because I was too busy sucking off Irv Gotti to get my deal I didnt have time for school which is why I always do that ignorant and obnoxious laugh- I simply have got no class. As for endorsements- i dont have any anymore. When my fans used to buy my stuff it meant i was in demand and so I got a deal with neutrogena but the lower my sales got- the more irrelevant I became and so why would they keep me when they could have some teeny bopper like Vanessa Hudgens. Speaking of endorsements- don't you think you have too many.
Sasha: No i don't because people know i'm actually talented and so my endorsements are just a way of me bringing in extra money to fund deluxe editions and videos. I could make enough money from my sell out tours, movies and sell out albums- endorsements help me promote my products when I'm in a dick coma- you see- if i have an album coming out and you see me flick my hair for L'oreal and guzzle down a can of Pepsi you are suddenly reminded that I've got an album coming out without me having to spend two hours on Tyra's couch promoting it.
Ashanti: Oh girl that's so cool- listen i've got to go, my boss is back- actually before I go- are you hiring down at the WigCrypt.
Sasha: Yeah- you know that ungrateful bee-yatch Kelly left so we've got a vacancy open in the lacefront brushing departement, send your resumee to [email protected] .com- then Jonte', TyTy and my mama will call you in for an interview.
Ashanti: Thanks Girl- I'll see you around.
Sasha: I doubt it.
#2 Jun 18, 2009
IT TAKES A BORED INDIVIDUAL WITH ABSOLUTELY NO CLASS AT ALL TO WRITE THIS GARBAGE. ASHANTI IN MANY WAYS IS MUCH MORE TALENTED THAN BEYONCE. THEY ARE BOTH BLACK WOMEN SO I CHOOSE TO RESPECT THEM, BUT BEYONCE IS TRULY DISGUSTING. BEYONCE SHOWS NO MORALS AND FILTH WHILE STILL MAINTAINING HER INNOCENT PERSONA, PROVING THAT DUMB PEOPLE LIKE YOU BELIEVE ANYTHING. IN NO WAY AM I PUTTING DOWN THE FACT THAT SHE IS A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN ON THE OUTSIDE BUT ON THE INSIDE SHE IS UGLY. HER PARENTS HAVE NO RESPECT FOR THEMSELVES OR THEIR CHILDREN. BEYONCE SHOULD JUST BE A WHORE RATHER THAN WHAT SHE CALLS HERSELF. HER OWN "HUSBAND" HAS NO RESPECT FOR HER. I FEEL SORRY FOR ALL OF THE MEMBERS OF THE KNOWLES FAMILY, IS MONEY WORTH YOUR SELF RESPECT? ASHANTI ON THE OTHER HAND IS AN INTELLIGENT YOUNG WOMAN WHO IS NATURALLY BEAUTIFUL AND TALENTED AND MOST OF ALL NOT A LIAR. I LOVE AND RESPECT HER BECAUSE EVERYTHING SHE SINGS SHE WRITES AND THAT IS A DISPLAY OF PURE TALENT. LIKE US ALL SHE HAS FLAWS BUT HAS ALWAYS MAINTAINED WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO US ALL HONESTY, FAMILY, MORALS INTEGRITY AND INNER BEAUTY. I WISH THEM BOTH LUCK IN THEIR GROWING CAREERS AND ASHANTI YOU GO GIRL WHEN YOU SING I CAN FEEL YOU.
#3 Jan 6, 2010
I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH YOU DANIELLE!! Beyonce use to have some morals but money and fame threw that out the window! She hardly ever references GOD anymore and she is just trashy! She never has clothes on anymore...terrible! Ashanti keep doing your thing! Luv YA!
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