Jon and Kate Plus 8: Kate Snags Invite to A-list Event

Getting divorced in public was probably one of the best things that could happen to Kate Gosselin's career.

[Nicki]

Please remind Kate that intentionally showing her crotch or her hot cross buns will not be tolerated during the event. No Britney moments.
No going commando. No bringing bodyguards who hold your hand or play footsies while your spouse is home with the kids. Lots of rules.
Will she attend Mass? I'd love to see that.

[Chick Flick]

Nicki wrote:

Please remind Kate that intentionally showing her crotch or her hot cross buns will not be tolerated during the event. No Britney moments.
No going commando. No bringing bodyguards who hold your hand or play footsies while your spouse is home with the kids. Lots of rules.
Will she attend Mass? I'd love to see that.

Perhaps they'll do a "group confessional." (Jon's on the bottom.)

[Nicki]

http://www.rachaelrayshow.com/videos/category...

She'll get a booth and maybe, if she's real good and doesn't show her panties or too much cleavage, she will get a little taste of Lovin' Spoonful ice cream.
She was probably supposed to have her cookbook in time to sell it too.
Oopsy.

[Chick Flick]

Nicki wrote:

http://www.rachaelrayshow.com/ videos/category/buddies/view/4 3/2070/
She'll get a booth and maybe, if she's real good and doesn't show her panties or too much cleavage, she will get a little taste of Lovin' Spoonful ice cream.
She was probably supposed to have her cookbook in time to sell it too.
Oopsy.

Yes, the very cookbook where she supposedly talks about how all of her lovin' spoonfuls have kept Jon and her family so happy?? ROFL

She's coming out with a new book - "Kate Eats Crow." Sure to be a bestseller.

[Nicki_]

Chick Flick wrote:

<quoted text>
Yes, the very cookbook where she supposedly talks about how all of her lovin' spoonfuls have kept Jon and her family so happy?? ROFL
She's coming out with a new book - "Kate Eats Crow." Sure to be a bestseller.

Wonder how much trouble I'd get into for drawing horns or fangs on all the pictures of her on the cover. Or maybe sign the inside? What would I write. Hmmm.

[Chick Flick]

Nicki_ wrote:

<quoted text>
Wonder how much trouble I'd get into for drawing horns or fangs on all the pictures of her on the cover. Or maybe sign the inside? What would I write. Hmmm.

How about "Fangs for the Memories ..."

Song time!

Thanks for the memories
of lying out my azz
and being oh-so-crass,
I'd love to say I miss Jon,
but I'd kick him in the azz
Oh, thank you, soooo much!

Thanks for the memories
of showing off my 'hocks
and chopping off my locks,
I know I look real butchy,
but remember, I'm the boss,
I thank ME, soooo much.

[Nicki_]

Chick Flick wrote:

<quoted text>
How about "Fangs for the Memories ..."
Song time!
Thanks for the memories
of lying out my azz
and being oh-so-crass,
I'd love to say I miss Jon,
but I'd kick him in the azz
Oh, thank you, soooo much!
Thanks for the memories
of showing off my 'hocks
and chopping off my locks,
I know I look real butchy,
but remember, I'm the boss,
I thank ME, soooo much.

I'd like to see her in the ring with Danny Bonaduce or Mickey Rourke.
I'm not usually a violent person, but I'll make an exception for her.
I'd even settle for an old-fashioned dunking booth or maybe a bunch of moms who can't stand her get to take a shot at tagging her with a paint ball gun. The balls will be made of her kids' poop, the dogs' poop, and the mold from her fridge plus some birthday cake.

Jon sent her an edible arrangement for her birthday. It was filled with cow turds and a note that said "Eat sh* and yes I mean it" Love, Jon. Nothing says love like bovine heaps of "love"....Dung is in the mix...da da da da da...Dung is in the mix....to the tune of Love is in the air.

[Chick Flick]

Nicki_ wrote:

<quoted text>
I'd like to see her in the ring with Danny Bonaduce or Mickey Rourke.
I'm not usually a violent person, but I'll make an exception for her.
I'd even settle for an old-fashioned dunking booth or maybe a bunch of moms who can't stand her get to take a shot at tagging her with a paint ball gun. The balls will be made of her kids' poop, the dogs' poop, and the mold from her fridge plus some birthday cake.
Jon sent her an edible arrangement for her birthday. It was filled with cow turds and a note that said "Eat sh* and yes I mean it" Love, Jon. Nothing says love like bovine heaps of "love"....Dung is in the mix...da da da da da...Dung is in the mix....to the tune of Love is in the air.

I think Danny would kick her to the corner, definitely -- but Mickey might try to patch her up, IYKWIM.

But were they organic t*rds? THAT is what Kate is investigating, before she dives in.

<sung to Mambo #5>

A little bit of cow dung in my lunch
A little bit of bird t*rd I will munch,
A little bit of sheep dung in my meat,
As long as it's organic, I will eat - Whooo!

Bomp, ba-bomp, ba-bomp - ba bompa bompa
Bomp, ba-bomp, ba-bomp - ba bompa bompa

[genuann28]

Like, OMG, it's the same immature trash I see every time I click! I'm going to be immature now just like you and let you know what your words make me think of. I don't know why, but the way you are bashing another woman makes me think that you are middle aged, but try to act and look younger. You dye your hair, smoke, wear slutty clothes, go to bars, and whore around. But one of you is fat, I see you wolfing down junk as you type your stupid crap. Your keyboard is covered with potato chip crumbs and sticky from cake icing. Am I close?

[Nicki]

Chick Flick wrote:

<quoted text>
I think Danny would kick her to the corner, definitely -- but Mickey might try to patch her up, IYKWIM.
But were they organic t*rds? THAT is what Kate is investigating, before she dives in.
<sung to Mambo #5>
A little bit of cow dung in my lunch
A little bit of bird t*rd I will munch,
A little bit of sheep dung in my meat,
As long as it's organic, I will eat - Whooo!
Bomp, ba-bomp, ba-bomp - ba bompa bompa
Bomp, ba-bomp, ba-bomp - ba bompa bompa

Yes, I know what you mean. Since the split, you see the kids drinking juicy juice and eating stuff out of bags both when with either parent.
Gasp. The clean freak stuff and the panic about organic is supposedly just for ratings. Maybe they want an audience of OCD people who eat only organic food. Kate is not exactly a poster child for what does a body good, is she? She's not in a place in her life where she should be wearing the same bikini as say Kendra Wilkinson. I bet Kate spit nails when she saw Kim Kardashian looking good in a bathing suit while she had on an ugly one with what looked like a granny hat. Later, she put on a cover-up, thank goodness and strapped on a kid as a fashion accessory.
She used to strap the kids on two at a time. Now, since they are 5 going on 6, she can only carry one at a time. I guess she heard all the real celebs carry their kids long after they can walk. Plus, she still puts bibs on her kids. She probably packs them in their lunches for school. She makes her kids look delayed/challenged.

Get this, Chick Flick. They have to bring their lunch home and if they didn't eat something, they are not to throw it in the trash. They are to bring it home. Most "normal" kids bring a throw away lunch in a paper bag and they don't have to keep up with a lunch container which gets gross by the way. For her, it is all about control. Maybe she will have a garage sale while she is at Maria's event and sell off those gross Gosselin
lunch buckets. Next year she will make the kids carry items that have a picture of Jon and a cross through it and after the divorce, they will have to say, "I hate Daddy and only have eyes for mommy."