Of course I'm not lacking in arrogance. If I was I wouldn't BE a human.<quoted text>Since you dismiss theology and philosophy, you are left with shallow,reflexive,insufficient answers. Yet not lacking arrogance.
There is no way these questions you raise can be answered without a thoughtful examination.This means philosophy and theology not some sort of book on that "Kooky Vatican". I wish you well but cannot give you the answers that are there.
I can't give answers, because I don't have answers. I have opinions, as do you.