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21 - 35 of 35 Comments Last updated Oct 7, 2013
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“Greed is evil”

Since: Apr 08

Warm Springs

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#31
Oct 5, 2008
 
Three salesmenís car breaks down and they go to the farmerís house and ask if they can spend the night in the barn and fix their car the next day. Farmer says well ok but leave my daughter alone, her room is attached to the barn, and the salesmen say no problem. As they head into to barn they see the daughter and she is a real stunner. At about two in the morning the first salesmen sneaks in her room for some fun, the farmer hears him and ties him up behind the barn and sticks a sock in his mouth. By morning all three are tied up, the farmer takes his shotgun and tells the three to go pick their favorite fruit, 1 st comes back with a basket of strawberries, the farmer shoves them up his butt, the second blue berries and the same thing happens. Both salesmen start laughing and the farmer asks what is so funny, they say Larry is looking for the largest water melon.

“Eat Well, Stay Fit”

Since: Jul 08

Die Anyway

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#32
Oct 5, 2008
 
Fen wrote:
A bear walks into bar and says, "I'll have a beer and ........ some nuts."
The bartender says, "Why the long paws?"
Big pause!

The bear looks down at his paws and says, I don't know. I guess I got them from my dad.

ho ho ho

“TOPIX WARS”

Since: Dec 07

DECORATED VETERAN

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#33
Oct 5, 2008
 
What does a tribe of pygmies and a junior high girl's track team have in common?

Well, the pygmies are a group of cunning little runts...
Shermaine Gyek Ten Ying

Singapore, Singapore

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#35
Nov 24, 2010
 
Okay, This is my joke......, Why did the baby pen cry?

IT'S MOTHER WAS DOING A LONG SENTENCE! fet it, guys? ;im 16..........
Cassandra Loh

Singapore, Singapore

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#36
Nov 24, 2010
 
hehe, Germaine! LOng time no see, right! when are we meeting? Did you still remember my house is at Hougang ave 2 ? Meet up next year 3 jan... ok? at my house... I want to hear ur amusing jokes. I'll tell you some too. If cannot make it then u choose either 5 jan , 20 Feb or 30 March... Ok. K.I.T

How many seconds are there in a year?

12. 2 jan, 2 feb, 2 march, 2 april, 2 may...
Shermaine Gyek

Singapore, Singapore

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#37
Nov 24, 2010
 
3 jan all right . Bye and stop being so lovey dovey

Since: Sep 10

Location hidden

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#38
Nov 24, 2010
 

Judged:

1

What humps like a tiger and winks????

*WINK*
Susy

Hove, UK

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#39
Mar 10, 2012
 
Wht looks like red paint but smells like blue ?

Red paint

What do sneezes were on there feet ?

Ahhh shoe

What do you clean a tuba with ?

Tube-A-toothpaste

“Winchester Model 1894”

Since: Apr 07

Roy, Washington

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#40
Mar 10, 2012
 

Judged:

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I went to a planned parenthood office, the sign on the door said "Use rear entrance"

“I will gladly pay you Tuesday”

Since: Jul 12

for a hamburger today.

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#41
Aug 28, 2012
 
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, thereís a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"
Evil Jeff

Montclair, NJ

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#42
Sep 4, 2012
 
I was dating a girl from Japan who spoke no english and during sex she would scream "nagiana" one day i met her family and her dad had me play a round of golf with him to get to know me, i had no clue how to play but tried my best. On a really hard hole I swung like a maniac and got a hole in one , her father was in shock and I figured I had a chance to really impress him so I leaned in and said "Nagiana huh?" and he said " what do you mean the wrong hole?"

“Eat Well, Stay Fit”

Since: Jul 08

Die Anyway

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#43
Sep 4, 2012
 
(Old man being grafted and beaten by the mob)

Mobster - You muzt sign zee papers old man!

Old Man - No! I cannot sign zee papers!

Mobster - WHY?? Why can you not sign zee papers?

Old Man - Bacause you have broken both my hands!
PDX Dave

Portland, OR

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#44
Oct 3, 2013
 

Judged:

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1

Somebody told me there were battered women!

Hell, I've been eating mine raw

“I was a Grim Reaper”

Since: Apr 07

But now I take antidepressants

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#45
Oct 7, 2013
 
Why dont clams ever share?......... They're too Shellfish.....
Blacklicks Only Poster

Columbus, OH

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#46
Oct 7, 2013
 
Two cows are standing in a field talking and one asks the other "Does all this talk about Mad Cow Disease worry you?" The other cow responds "Why should I worry? I'm an airplane!"

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