I knew my family was racist but this took the cake

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1 - 17 of 17 Comments Last updated Aug 4, 2013
Joan

Randolph, NJ

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#1
Oct 17, 2010
 

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I was invited to my cousin's daughter's wedding and was told I can bring a guest - my white husband and I are separated on our way to a divorce. I responded that I was coming and bringing a guest because I didn't want to attend the wedding alone.

I've been seeing this great black guy and I asked him if he would accompany me to the wedding and he said he would be delighted to. I went shopping to get a new outfit to wear and he came with me to give his opinion. Little did I know was that he was treating me to whatever I needed for the wedding - from the dress to the hair and nails the whole nine yards.

The day of the wedding came and my sister decided to take my mother with her and her family so I would be going with just my guy. None of my family has met him yet so I curious to the remarks I would be getting from my very racist family.

GarJoe was dressed to kill. He had on black suit, white shirt and black and white tie. I had on my black and white dress with matching shoes and handbag. To my surprise the morning of the wedding, he presented me with a necklace and ring to wear to the
wedding of black and white pearls in one box and the bracelet and earrings in the other.

We got to the church as were greeted by my mother and sister and my mother pulled me aside and said, "You couldn't find a white guy to bring?" I told her, "This is my steady boyfriend do you want to meet him or not?" She agreed to meet him and so did my sister. My sister seemed ok but mom was difficult.

When we got to the reception we did raise a bit of eyebrows from a good part of the family and some people warmed up to GarJoe right away.

We were talking to my relations and they were pleasant but there was no pleasing mom.

I over heard on of the aunts say, "I see her taste in men has gone from worse to even worse." I approached dear Aunt Helen and told her to keep her comments to herself and since her daughter has been knocked up 3 times by 3 different guys and gets the *hit beat out of her, she should keep her mouth shut.

Another cousin commented that I went to the dark side and he pointed out to said he and I told him, "Look you don't have to like him ok - I'm the one that does and I don't just like him, I'm in love with him."

It was getting so uncomfortable for me and GarJoe that I asked the band to borrow their mic and said the following:

"You may or may not know but Stephen and I have decided to call it quits. This is my new guy and the man that makes me happier than I've ever been GarJoe".

The silence was deafening and then I told them that our wedding will probably me next and if you don't like GarJoe or have any racist remarks or any for that matter keep them to yourself and don't even attend.

We left the receiption before the dinner was served and we haven't heard from anyone - and it doesn't matter.

So tell me how can a family be so cold and disrespectful.

Tell me your story.

“Winchester Model 1894”

Since: Apr 07

Roy, Washington

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#2
Oct 17, 2010
 

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Not quite the same, but close. In Alaska, I enjoyed "playing the field" as a teen. It seemed like I had a variety to choose from. But shortly after I turned 21 I met this young lady that just blew me away. On our second date I asked her to be my wife. When I introduced her to my mother her responce was "Well! I suppose she's pregnant!"
We were married for over 40 years untill she died of cancer in '03. I never spoke to my mother for years after that.
Joan

Randolph, NJ

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#3
Oct 18, 2010
 

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MPMARTIN wrote:
Not quite the same, but close. In Alaska, I enjoyed "playing the field" as a teen. It seemed like I had a variety to choose from. But shortly after I turned 21 I met this young lady that just blew me away. On our second date I asked her to be my wife. When I introduced her to my mother her responce was "Well! I suppose she's pregnant!"
We were married for over 40 years untill she died of cancer in '03. I never spoke to my mother for years after that.
I am sorry that you had to suffer hearing such a remark - why are people so cruel.

So you forged ahead anyway and made her your wife - congratulations - 40 years is a very long time for a couple to be married during the time when divorces are much higher than marriages. I am so sorry for your loss - keep her memory close to your heart and she will always be with you.

I hope you will continue to go on and live your life knowing that you made the right move and made the right woman your wife/your life.

God Bless You!!
Ben

Santa Barbara, CA

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#4
May 14, 2011
 

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Joan wrote:
I was invited to my cousin's daughter's wedding and was told I can bring a guest - my white husband and I are separated on our way to a divorce. I responded that I was coming and bringing a guest because I didn't want to attend the wedding alone.
I've been seeing this great black guy and I asked him if he would accompany me to the wedding and he said he would be delighted to. I went shopping to get a new outfit to wear and he came with me to give his opinion. Little did I know was that he was treating me to whatever I needed for the wedding - from the dress to the hair and nails the whole nine yards.
The day of the wedding came and my sister decided to take my mother with her and her family so I would be going with just my guy. None of my family has met him yet so I curious to the remarks I would be getting from my very racist family.
GarJoe was dressed to kill. He had on black suit, white shirt and black and white tie. I had on my black and white dress with matching shoes and handbag. To my surprise the morning of the wedding, he presented me with a necklace and ring to wear to the
wedding of black and white pearls in one box and the bracelet and earrings in the other.
We got to the church as were greeted by my mother and sister and my mother pulled me aside and said, "You couldn't find a white guy to bring?" I told her, "This is my steady boyfriend do you want to meet him or not?" She agreed to meet him and so did my sister. My sister seemed ok but mom was difficult.
When we got to the reception we did raise a bit of eyebrows from a good part of the family and some people warmed up to GarJoe right away.
We were talking to my relations and they were pleasant but there was no pleasing mom.
I over heard on of the aunts say, "I see her taste in men has gone from worse to even worse." I approached dear Aunt Helen and told her to keep her comments to herself and since her daughter has been knocked up 3 times by 3 different guys and gets the *hit beat out of her, she should keep her mouth shut.
Another cousin commented that I went to the dark side and he pointed out to said he and I told him, "Look you don't have to like him ok - I'm the one that does and I don't just like him, I'm in love with him."
It was getting so uncomfortable for me and GarJoe that I asked the band to borrow their mic and said the following:
"You may or may not know but Stephen and I have decided to call it quits. This is my new guy and the man that makes me happier than I've ever been GarJoe".
The silence was deafening and then I told them that our wedding will probably me next and if you don't like GarJoe or have any racist remarks or any for that matter keep them to yourself and don't even attend.
We left the receiption before the dinner was served and we haven't heard from anyone - and it doesn't matter.
So tell me how can a family be so cold and disrespectful.
Tell me your story.
While I feel one end everyone has the right to marry whom they want on another diversity can only be maintained through separation. It is sad that you don't see the value in it.
Sweetwitch

United States

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#5
Mar 26, 2012
 

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My husband passed away almost 5 yrs ago. Im half European and half hispanic and I have fallen in love with a black man, The first words that came out of my mothers mouth was "are you crazy, you are so much better than he is, how can you lower yourself like that" My jaw dropped..Even though I am hispanic my family and I have a very light complexion, my whole family has blonde hair and light eyes...I have brown eyes and dark hair but still a light complexion. So when they saw his picture of how dark he was they totaly went crazy.
So now that they know that Im planing on being with my bf they have sent other family members to make me understand how wrong that is..they have tried everything possible..Their final words are that if I chose him over them they will turn their backs on me and I will ever be able to come back to the family. Really? How can my family say they love me, yet they are making me chose them or the man that I love and makes me happy? I don't understand how that is so important to people..why? We are all humans. This man has made me happier than any other white man that I have ever been with.
I feel terrible, I feel like Im failing my family but I love him and there is no reason why I should feel guilty.
Hmmmm

Wilmington, NC

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#6
Apr 3, 2013
 
Sweetwitch wrote:
My husband passed away almost 5 yrs ago. Im half European and half hispanic and I have fallen in love with a black man, The first words that came out of my mothers mouth was "are you crazy, you are so much better than he is, how can you lower yourself like that" My jaw dropped..Even though I am hispanic my family and I have a very light complexion, my whole family has blonde hair and light eyes...I have brown eyes and dark hair but still a light complexion. So when they saw his picture of how dark he was they totaly went crazy.
So now that they know that Im planing on being with my bf they have sent other family members to make me understand how wrong that is..they have tried everything possible..Their final words are that if I chose him over them they will turn their backs on me and I will ever be able to come back to the family. Really? How can my family say they love me, yet they are making me chose them or the man that I love and makes me happy? I don't understand how that is so important to people..why? We are all humans. This man has made me happier than any other white man that I have ever been with.
I feel terrible, I feel like Im failing my family but I love him and there is no reason why I should feel guilty.
You're not failing your family, they are failing themselves. If ths man makes you happy and go for it, and who cares what your family or anyone thinks about you two. It's your life, not theirs. I can't stand families who try to dictate your life. I don't know about your family, but there are many who are supposed to be Christians and refuse to accept other races in their bloodline. I can't stand those kind of hypocrites.

If you two decide to marry, I wish you all the happiness in the world. If your family members don't like it, too bad. The sun will still be shinning, and the moon will still give us light at night.
August

Lake Wales, FL

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#7
Apr 3, 2013
 

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Only you can make YOU happy.
Michelle

Surrey, Canada

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#8
May 28, 2013
 

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That is very sad to here. You did the right thing. I am indian and I hate it when people are racist
Dominique

Philadelphia, PA

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#9
Aug 3, 2013
 

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don't ever let your family define love. Love comes in all kinds of ways.. & you shouldn't ever just settle for one.

Since: Apr 13

Scappoose, Oregon USA

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#10
Aug 3, 2013
 

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I think lots of us have had a similar experience, I'm still on the young end of the spectrum for sure (only just recently turned 18 in 2013) but back when I started dating my third bf was black, while I am the quintessential white girl for sure LOL! My family and our circle of usual friends had absolutely no problem with it, in fact it was a non-issue and no one even mentioned it. But I heard some nasty remarks from other kids and even some faculty members at school, things like 'what he must have two make her be with him' and things like that none of them were made directly to me but worse yet behind my back and I overheard them in the hallway or girls room or something, and some nasty online stuff. Never ceases to amaze me, we're supposed to be advancing and getting more enlightened as a society and a culture, but then you see evidence the knuckle draggers are still among us.
Doctor REALITY

Little Rock, AR

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#11
Aug 3, 2013
 
Ben wrote:
<quoted text>
While I feel one end everyone has the right to marry whom they want on another diversity can only be maintained through separation. It is sad that you don't see the value in it.
Then get on a jumbo jet and leave America. We PROMISE we won't miss you. PROMISE!
Doctor REALITY

Little Rock, AR

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#12
Aug 3, 2013
 

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I think what a lot of you people who whine and cry about 'separation' in America fail to REALIZE is that is NOBODY, except those who think like you, feels sorry for you! The Lord God is allowing people from all over the world to come to America to settle. Many people in America are having a hard time accepting that. So if you don't like it, then you need to leave the country. This is ISN'T 'your land', or 'my land'. It's THE LORD JESUS CHRIST'S 'LAND'.
Doctor REALITY

Little Rock, AR

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Aug 3, 2013
 

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Michelle wrote:
That is very sad to here. You did the right thing. I am indian and I hate it when people are racist
Racist/Separatist-minded people are some of the most miserable people in the world.
medicine man

Oakland, CA

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#14
Aug 3, 2013
 

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Dominique wrote:
don't ever let your family define love. Love comes in all kinds of ways.. & you shouldn't ever just settle for one.
Congratulations on digging up this old turd by the now legendary racist fantasizer jim/joan/ill. Not sure if "it" is even still alive anymore.
Doctor REALITY

Little Rock, AR

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#15
Aug 4, 2013
 
Doctor REALITY wrote:
<quoted text>Then get on a jumbo jet and leave America. We PROMISE we won't miss you. PROMISE!
If you don't want to be in America because of the growing diversity, then the solution is SIMPLE: LEAVE.
medicine man

Richmond, CA

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#16
Aug 4, 2013
 
^REALITY check. ur talking to urself.....
Doctor REALITY

Little Rock, AR

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#17
Aug 4, 2013
 

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America is a place that has placed so much emphasis on education and prosperity that now people from all over the world are wanting to come here and it's creating another man-made disaster: OVERCROWDING.

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