I read something similar to this...<quoted text>
Uh, Professor Brainiac.
Gravity is strongest where the mass is most dense.
There may be a swell, but that is not what causes the tides. It is caused by the whole damned ocean being dragged along by the moon. Water is wet and it rolls real good.
The moon is trying to suck the ocean off tangentially, not straight up. It rolls easier than it rises.
...last year. I can't find the article I originally found, which was speculating about how Mars lost its oceans, but this one is close enough.
It makes sense that the sun could strip a planet of its water. Its a good thing we live here instead of Mars. We have been very lucky, so far.