Instructions You Dont Hear Anymore

Instructions You Dont Hear Anymore

Posted in the Top Stories Forum

Old Tymer

Houston, TX

#1 May 11, 2013
Be sure to refill the ice trays, we're going to have company.
Watch for the postman, I want to get this letter to Willie in the mail
Today. Quit slamming the screen door when you go out!
Be sure and pull the windows down when you leave, it looks like a hard
Shower is coming up.
Don't forget to wind the clock before you go to bed.
Wash your feet before you go to bed, you've been playing outside all
Day barefooted.
Why can't you remember to roll up your britches legs? Getting them caught
in the bicycle chain so many times is tearing them up.
You have torn the knees out of that pair of pants so many
times there is nothing left to put a patch on.
Don't you go outside with your school clothes on!
Go comb your hair, it looks like the rats have nested in it all night.
Be sure and pour the cream off the top of the milk when you open
The new bottle.
Take that empty bottle to the store with you so you won't have to
Pay a deposit on another one.
Put a dish towel over the cake so the flies won't get on it.
Quit jumping on the floor! I have a cake in the oven and you
Are going to make it fall if you don't quit!
Let me know when the Fuller Brush man comes by, I need to
Get a few things from him.
You boys stay close by, the car may not start and I will need
You to help push it off.
There's a dollar in my purse, get 5 gallons of gas when you go
To town.
Open the back door and see if we can get a breeze through here, it is getting hot.
You can walk to the store; it won't hurt you to get some
Sit closer to the radio, don't turn it up so loud.
If you pull that stunt again, I am going to wear you out!
Stop rollin green baccer smokes, that stuff will give you the willies!
Don't be eating Jim's green apples, they'll give you the trots!
Don't lose that button; I won't be able to sew it back on.
Wash under your neck before you come to the table, you have
Beads of dirt and sweat all under there.
Get out from under the sewing machine; pumping it messes
Up the thread!
Be sure and fill the lamps this morning so we don't have to do
That tonight in the dark.
Here, take this old Sears and Roebuck catalog to the toilet
With you when you go, we are almost out of paper out there.
Go out to the well and draw a bucket of water so I can wash
Dishes. Don't turn the radio on now, I want the battery to be up
When the Grand Ole Opry comes on.
No! I don't have 10 cents for you to go to the show. Do you think money grows on trees?
Eat those turnips, they'll make you big and strong like your daddy.
That dog is NOT coming in this house! I don't care how cold it is
Out there, dogs don't stay in the house.
Sit still! I'm trying to get your hair cut straight and you keep moving and it is all messed up.
Hush your mouth! I don't want to hear words like Dad Gummit! I'll wash your mouth out with soap!
It is time for your system to be cleaned out. I am going to give you a
Dose of castor oil tonight.
If you get a spanking in school and I find out about it, you'll get
Another one when you get home.
Quit crossing your eyes! They will get stuck that way!
Soak your foot in this pan of kerosene so that bad cut won't get infected.
When you take your driving test, don't forget to signal each turn.
Left arm straight out the window for a left turn;
Left arm bent up at the elbow for a right turn;
And straight down to the side of the door when you are going to stop.
It's:'Yes Ma'am!' and 'No Ma'am!' to me, young
Man, and don't you forget it!
Hurry up and finish drying the dishes so we can go
"ketch sum lightnin bugs and pit 'em in a jar."
Y'all come back now, ya’ hear.
I truly regret some of you are so young that
You missed out on most of these great memories ...

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