Im with a maarried man who is leaving...
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confused

Littleton, CO

#21 Oct 4, 2008
Kricketgirl wrote:
Regardless of the decision that you make.
Wow, I needed a friend like you years ago, thanks, seriously. The world needs more people like you.

“Much Love to Everyone”

Since: Aug 08

Houston, TX

#22 Oct 4, 2008
confused wrote:
<quoted text> Wow, I needed a friend like you years ago, thanks, seriously. The world needs more people like you.
<BLUSH> You are very welcome.
Subtle Signs

Lancaster, PA

#23 Oct 4, 2008
Dear Confused,
I came back on here this evening to see if you've posted anything new. I don't want to reply to any particular comment of yours, but would like to just reply to you in general.
I can't say without a shadow of a doubt that he will end up cheating on you just like he cheated with you. There is no way to know that for sure. Although that is usually the case, it is not always the case. I know of a few people who have had affairs, ended up getting married eventually, and to this day they are still together. The 3 couples I am referring to have all been happily married for the past 20-35 years, depending on the couple. In some cases it does work out well. In some cases the marriage just needs to end because the couple has grown apart. Which is why he sought you out in the first place...something obviously was missing from his marriage.
I would like to say though that I haven't read anything in your comments that lead me to believe you are TRULY in love with him. I do believe you love him and care for him, but so far you haven't described anything that makes me think you are IN LOVE. You are young. And I know at your age you do not think you are too young, but I can honestly look back and say that when I was your age, I thought I knew a lot, but as I got older I saw things differently. I am almost 40 but I do remember what my early 20's were like. I do remember what relationships were like in the early stages.
I don't know what advice to give you. I know someone who is in almost the exact same situation that you are in, and she is perfectly happy. Her man is with HER now and is divorcing his wife. What happens with their relationship in the future remains to be seen.
You seem like you have a very good head on your shoulders. You have met "the wife", you have met the children, you have met his family. You need to do what you feel is right. But as someone pointed out earlier, I think you have an inkling of what you are supposed to do, and you came on here to validate your answer. Good luck to you.
Subtle Signs

Lancaster, PA

#24 Oct 4, 2008
P.S. Do keep in mind that he did lie to you in the very beinning when he said he was divorced.

“youbeateverythin g youknowthat ”

Since: Apr 07

Buffalo, NY

#26 Oct 4, 2008
confused wrote:
My boyfriend of over a year is the most thoughtful and considerate person I've ever known. I fell in love with him real fast for his attentive ways. Only I found out he was married 9 months into our relationship. He was supposedly ou tof town at a religous retreat with his bro and his wife calls my phone and asks me to quit calling him because they are at a marriage conference trying to work it out. He leaves her to come to me when she tells him she called me and he gives me his explantion. Anyways we've been together since. There is so much more to it but you can ask if you would like, but I'm wooried that he talks to her when I don't know or sees her. Nothing like cheating but just keeping it from me. We spend all day together, we work and are currently living together, but I just get so mad because I don't know what to do sometimes.
He probably has you right where he wants you, wake up and smell the coffee..
confused

United States

#27 Oct 6, 2008
With all Of your opinions in mind, I head out to seek what I must to do what I must. Thank you all for all your time you took to chat with me and all your experienced opinions that I shall keep in mind when making my decision. God bless you all and have great lives.

“youbeateverythin g youknowthat ”

Since: Apr 07

Buffalo, NY

#28 Oct 6, 2008
confused wrote:
With all Of your opinions in mind, I head out to seek what I must to do what I must. Thank you all for all your time you took to chat with me and all your experienced opinions that I shall keep in mind when making my decision. God bless you all and have great lives.
Your welcome..
Doc Phil

Since: Sep 08

Las Vegas, NV

#29 Oct 6, 2008
confused wrote:
My boyfriend of over a year is the most thoughtful and considerate person I've ever known. I fell in love with him real fast for his attentive ways. Only I found out he was married 9 months into our relationship. He was supposedly ou tof town at a religous retreat with his bro and his wife calls my phone and asks me to quit calling him because they are at a marriage conference trying to work it out. He leaves her to come to me when she tells him she called me and he gives me his explantion. Anyways we've been together since. There is so much more to it but you can ask if you would like, but I'm wooried that he talks to her when I don't know or sees her. Nothing like cheating but just keeping it from me. We spend all day together, we work and are currently living together, but I just get so mad because I don't know what to do sometimes.
How old are you? Fresh out of High School or what. Dump him, he's used merchandise. Better hope his wife doesn't sharpen her kitchen knives.
Leah

Mission Viejo, CA

#30 Feb 7, 2010
Men who cheat have no moral character. what makes you think he won't cheat on you, believe me he will. Run don't walk from this parasite. He's also a liar, do you want to spend the rest of our life wondering of he's where he says he is. I would not waste a second on this douche bag.
andet1987

United States

#31 Feb 8, 2010
Leah wrote:
Men who cheat have no moral character. what makes you think he won't cheat on you, believe me he will. Run don't walk from this parasite. He's also a liar, do you want to spend the rest of our life wondering of he's where he says he is. I would not waste a second on this douche bag.
this thread was opened last year. chances are, he left her already.
Unique situation

Miami, FL

#32 Jun 23, 2010
Hi I need advice About 27 years ago I was separating from from first husband and I met someone, however he was married with small kids. I was his mistress for about 1 year because he told me that he could not leave his wife because he had to many family ties.

Thereafter seveal year past by I ran into him again but I was married and my marriage was soso he was going through a very hard time with his marriage and ask his wife for a divorce ask me to marry him. But I was not ready and we decided to just separate. He decided to give his wife a second chance. About 10 years have past and AGAIN I ran into him, incredable we live 10 blocks away from each other, shop same places, but never ran into him til about 6 months ago. I do not know if its fate or what.

After so many years already It happens that I just left mu husband and he continues to have really bad problems with his marriage. Now the kids are grown and he said he will leave his wife so we can be together.

However I dont know if I would have never appear would he really left his wife, he tells me that that yes it would probably be later on. That now he ust needs some time to settle his finances since his wife never worked he wants to ensure that he leaves everthing in place. I gave him 2 more months to do this. Am I being unffair do you think he will really leave. I feel like he doesnt want to let go. What should I do??? please help
MrLogic

Charlotte, NC

#33 Jun 23, 2010
Unique situation wrote:
Hi I need advice About 27 years ago I was separating from from first husband and I met someone, however he was married with small kids. I was his mistress for about 1 year because he told me that he could not leave his wife because he had to many family ties.
Thereafter seveal year past by I ran into him again but I was married and my marriage was soso he was going through a very hard time with his marriage and ask his wife for a divorce ask me to marry him. But I was not ready and we decided to just separate. He decided to give his wife a second chance. About 10 years have past and AGAIN I ran into him, incredable we live 10 blocks away from each other, shop same places, but never ran into him til about 6 months ago. I do not know if its fate or what.
After so many years already It happens that I just left mu husband and he continues to have really bad problems with his marriage. Now the kids are grown and he said he will leave his wife so we can be together.
However I dont know if I would have never appear would he really left his wife, he tells me that that yes it would probably be later on. That now he ust needs some time to settle his finances since his wife never worked he wants to ensure that he leaves everthing in place. I gave him 2 more months to do this. Am I being unffair do you think he will really leave. I feel like he doesnt want to let go. What should I do??? please help
If you keep putting pressure on him to do it, it will probably cause problems between the two of you later. If he really wanted to do it, he would have done it.

The pressure you put on him will cause him to have more expectations of you.
sally

United States

#34 Nov 10, 2010
Its interesting how people are responding. You can tell who's responding related to the wife being cheated on or the mistress. There are cheating men who will always cheat and those mistress know who they are and run now...you know who you are and the wives whom tolerate this I don't feel sorry for you. The man that has cheated that's never and he just married the wrong one and is truley in love with the mistress is another story. This can happen were human and nobody should be married for misery. The wives whom are victims believe me he will leave u and you know he's cheating and stop lying to yourself. If you don't know then that's why he's cheating because you really don't care or pay attention. My whole point is that their is such a thing of people marring the wrong person and can be truely in love with someone else. If I don't work on my career everyday then I will lose my job. If you don't work on your marriage you will lose it even if they stay you still won't have one.

“youbeateverythin g youknowthat ”

Since: Apr 07

Buffalo, NY

#35 Nov 10, 2010
sally wrote:
Its interesting how people are responding. You can tell who's responding related to the wife being cheated on or the mistress. There are cheating men who will always cheat and those mistress know who they are and run now...you know who you are and the wives whom tolerate this I don't feel sorry for you. The man that has cheated that's never and he just married the wrong one and is truley in love with the mistress is another story. This can happen were human and nobody should be married for misery. The wives whom are victims believe me he will leave u and you know he's cheating and stop lying to yourself. If you don't know then that's why he's cheating because you really don't care or pay attention. My whole point is that their is such a thing of people marring the wrong person and can be truely in love with someone else. If I don't work on my career everyday then I will lose my job. If you don't work on your marriage you will lose it even if they stay you still won't have one.
Are you married...if "yes," are you busy this weekend?
new

San Bernardino, CA

#36 Jan 15, 2012
The Magician 808 wrote:
You know what happened. He gave you THE DICK and made you holla. It is just that simple. Please take a look at your entire life in front of your before you make your choice. If he is willing to do this to his wife now. What about you later.
You know god made us all different. I am sooooo sick of people saying "oh if he did it to her, he will do it to you shit". Everyone is different! STOP STEREOTYPING!!!!

Since: Feb 12

Location hidden

#37 Feb 5, 2012
Just one thing to think about. 9 months hiding that big secret. What else is he hiding

“I can help you make money!”

Since: Feb 12

Philippines

#38 Feb 5, 2012
Willis Wife you have nailed the point!
Mindy

Shelby, OH

#40 Aug 3, 2013
andet1987 wrote:
<quoted text>
i agree Wills Wife :)
Can't really blame the wives. You are attempting to steal their sister-in-laws husband. If you will do it with one man, you will with most men. How are they supposed to trust you or have any respect for you...when you don't have any for yourself. How hard is it to find a single man instead of ruining lives?!

Since: Apr 13

Scappoose, Oregon USA

#41 Aug 3, 2013
The only issues I think you need to be concerned with are; Don't be the reason why he's leaving his wife! I have nothing against dating a married man, heck I've done it twice. But I was not the reason he was leaving her, and breaking up a relationship-marriage or otherwise-is just not cool, and that will come back to bite you big time! The other thing is this, don't expect him in the long run to be any more faithful to you than he was to the wife use leaving now. I mean if you're in it for a fun time and don't mind the idea that one day he's going to dump you for somebody else, while then more power to you. That's the position I was in when I was dating those married guys, that's all I was doing was 'dating'(heck I was still in my early teens into early think about anything else) and so it didn't bother me when they cut those ties and moved on to yet another greener pasture they hadn't conquered yet.

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