Im with a maarried man who is leaving...

Im with a maarried man who is leaving his wife for me, Should I worry?

Posted in the Top Stories Forum

First Prev
of 2
Next Last
confused

Newport News, VA

#1 Oct 3, 2008
My boyfriend of over a year is the most thoughtful and considerate person I've ever known. I fell in love with him real fast for his attentive ways. Only I found out he was married 9 months into our relationship. He was supposedly ou tof town at a religous retreat with his bro and his wife calls my phone and asks me to quit calling him because they are at a marriage conference trying to work it out. He leaves her to come to me when she tells him she called me and he gives me his explantion. Anyways we've been together since. There is so much more to it but you can ask if you would like, but I'm wooried that he talks to her when I don't know or sees her. Nothing like cheating but just keeping it from me. We spend all day together, we work and are currently living together, but I just get so mad because I don't know what to do sometimes.
Subtle Signs

Lancaster, PA

#2 Oct 3, 2008
confused wrote:
My boyfriend of over a year is the most thoughtful and considerate person I've ever known. I fell in love with him real fast for his attentive ways. Only I found out he was married 9 months into our relationship. He was supposedly ou tof town at a religous retreat with his bro and his wife calls my phone and asks me to quit calling him because they are at a marriage conference trying to work it out. He leaves her to come to me when she tells him she called me and he gives me his explantion. Anyways we've been together since. There is so much more to it but you can ask if you would like, but I'm wooried that he talks to her when I don't know or sees her. Nothing like cheating but just keeping it from me. We spend all day together, we work and are currently living together, but I just get so mad because I don't know what to do sometimes.
Can I ask you a question? How do you know you are in love with him? There IS a difference between "being in love" and simply loving someone, so I would like to know exactly how you feel about him and how he makes you feel. Also, can I ask how old you are, and if you have had serious relationships before? If i'm getting too nosey just tell me. But I really would like to chat with you and I need some info to do that.
So you know some of my background, I have been married for 17 years BUT I had many relationships (some serious, some not) before we got married. You could say I know a thing or two about men.
am old

Chesterton, IN

#3 Oct 3, 2008
confused wrote:
My boyfriend of over a year is the most thoughtful and considerate person I've ever known. I fell in love with him real fast for his attentive ways. Only I found out he was married 9 months into our relationship. He was supposedly ou tof town at a religous retreat with his bro and his wife calls my phone and asks me to quit calling him because they are at a marriage conference trying to work it out. He leaves her to come to me when she tells him she called me and he gives me his explantion. Anyways we've been together since. There is so much more to it but you can ask if you would like, but I'm wooried that he talks to her when I don't know or sees her. Nothing like cheating but just keeping it from me. We spend all day together, we work and are currently living together, but I just get so mad because I don't know what to do sometimes.
Get out and when he is divorced then he is fair game. I wouldn't want my husband seeing you. You might get seriously hurt by him or his wife.(Or kids) I have seen it happen. You are being used and hurting a wife in the process. If he loves you- he will let you go then come back when he is divorced. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk free. That man is a cad and he will dump you when he finds someone younger or less demanding. GET OUT. He needs to face the Lord and mend his ways. You are being duped. Are there children involved????

“You can't cure stupid.”

Since: Jun 08

Location hidden

#4 Oct 3, 2008
confused wrote:
My boyfriend of over a year is the most thoughtful and considerate person I've ever known. I fell in love with him real fast for his attentive ways. Only I found out he was married 9 months into our relationship. He was supposedly ou tof town at a religous retreat with his bro and his wife calls my phone and asks me to quit calling him because they are at a marriage conference trying to work it out. He leaves her to come to me when she tells him she called me and he gives me his explantion. Anyways we've been together since. There is so much more to it but you can ask if you would like, but I'm wooried that he talks to her when I don't know or sees her. Nothing like cheating but just keeping it from me. We spend all day together, we work and are currently living together, but I just get so mad because I don't know what to do sometimes.
What do you have to be jealous of? He ISN'T married TO YOU! As for cheating well he cheated on his wife with you.....would you really be surprised to find out he cheated on you as well?
Old joke

Chesterton, IN

#5 Oct 3, 2008
Wills Wife wrote:
<quoted text>What do you have to be jealous of? He ISN'T married TO YOU! As for cheating well he cheated on his wife with you.....would you really be surprised to find out he cheated on you as well?
What?

“Cats are angels in furry coats”

Since: May 07

In memory of my Sophia

#6 Oct 3, 2008
Old joke wrote:
<quoted text>
What?
What she's saying is that he cheated on his wife once, does this young lady really want to marry him and risk him cheating on her too?

Something to seriously think about!

“You can't cure stupid.”

Since: Jun 08

Location hidden

#7 Oct 3, 2008
Old joke wrote:
<quoted text>
What?
? The mistress is worried he is seeing HIS WIFE! LOL That is hilarious to me. His wife has more of a "claim" to him then she does. LMAO!
Subtle Signs

Lancaster, PA

#8 Oct 3, 2008
confused wrote:
My boyfriend of over a year is the most thoughtful and considerate person I've ever known. I fell in love with him real fast for his attentive ways. Only I found out he was married 9 months into our relationship. He was supposedly ou tof town at a religous retreat with his bro and his wife calls my phone and asks me to quit calling him because they are at a marriage conference trying to work it out. He leaves her to come to me when she tells him she called me and he gives me his explantion. Anyways we've been together since. There is so much more to it but you can ask if you would like, but I'm wooried that he talks to her when I don't know or sees her. Nothing like cheating but just keeping it from me. We spend all day together, we work and are currently living together, but I just get so mad because I don't know what to do sometimes.
Since you haven't been back lately to reply to anything, I will just go ahead and add my two cents.
If you think he may be seeing her without your knowledge then he probably is. And chances are, they ARE doing a little something while they are together. And if that is the case, then he IS cheating on you. Technically he's married to her, but he is cheating on her with you, and on you with her. Find a man who can be all yours.

“Trust No One!”

Since: Mar 08

San Diego, Ca

#9 Oct 3, 2008
You know what happened. He gave you THE DICK and made you holla. It is just that simple. Please take a look at your entire life in front of your before you make your choice. If he is willing to do this to his wife now. What about you later.
pooner

Cranebrook, Australia

#10 Oct 3, 2008
LOL...good luck!
confused

Los Angeles, CA

#11 Oct 4, 2008
Subtle Signs wrote:
<quoted text>
Can I ask you a question? How do you know you are in love with him? There IS a difference between "being in love" and simply loving someone, so I would like to know exactly how you feel about him and how he makes you feel. Also, can I ask how old you are, and if you have had serious relationships before? If i'm getting too nosey just tell me. But I really would like to chat with you and I need some info to do that.Well for starters,
So you know some of my background, I have been married for 17 years BUT I had many relationships (some serious, some not) before we got married. You could say I know a thing or two about men.
Well I'am only 24. I"ve had a relationship of 6 years before. The reason I beleive I'am in love is a feeling I can't describe. I can tell you how he is with me. When I cry for whatever reason,wether it's an arguement I got in with a friend of family, or because I'm, just happy, which I do, he cries with me. He is considerate of my thoughts and feelings. He has yet to critisize me or suggest a change that needs to be made, he is supportive and helps in any way he can with what I want to do. If you have had these things , then maybe you can understand why I can't describe it all that well. I feel like love isn't a good enough word for him. I give you kudos for being married so long. That's a blessing.
confused

Los Angeles, CA

#12 Oct 4, 2008
am old wrote:
<quoted text>
Get out and when he is divorced then he is fair game. I wouldn't want my husband seeing you. You might get seriously hurt by him or his wife.(Or kids) I have seen it happen. You are being used and hurting a wife in the process. If he loves you- he will let you go then come back when he is divorced. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk free. That man is a cad and he will dump you when he finds someone younger or less demanding. GET OUT. He needs to face the Lord and mend his ways. You are being duped. Are there children involved????
I've suggested the whole " come see me when your divorce is final thing" to him.Beleive me when I say I fight with myself daily on a moral basis on wether I should still stay until that gets taken care of. I would never want to hurt another woman that way but by the time I found out he was married I was already head over heels with this man. They were seperated when we met and when his wife found out about me, then she wanted to try again with him.He has two daughters. a 14 and 10 yr old. I have met the 14 yr old and we got along very well. The 3 of us spent the whle day together. He gave me the opportunity to meet the youngest but from what he told me ,I told him I dain't think it she would be ready. We go to his parent's house daily, I've met all his brothers, I'am not accepted by his sister in laws, well there is one but she is kind of two face, but all his family knows we are together.
andet1987

United States

#13 Oct 4, 2008
Wills Wife wrote:
<quoted text>? The mistress is worried he is seeing HIS WIFE! LOL That is hilarious to me. His wife has more of a "claim" to him then she does. LMAO!
i agree Wills Wife :)
confused

Los Angeles, CA

#14 Oct 4, 2008
Wills Wife wrote:
<quoted text>What do you have to be jealous of? He ISN'T married TO YOU! As for cheating well he cheated on his wife with you.....would you really be surprised to find out he cheated on you as well?
They were seperated when we met, he did lie about being married, he said he was already divorced. But it's not like I'm the reason he had moved out in the first place. He moved in with his mom when they seperated and thats when we met. Apparently a divorce was never seriously talked about untill me. She did him wrong and talked to other guys because they had been together so long and was curious, so yes I do think it would be cheating if he was with her again.They are seperated and have been. She goes out with other guys already, she just wants him there because she never had to work with him and even now he pays the bills until the divorce. He gave her it all and thats why she doesn't want to let go. I make my own money in the construction industry . I love him for him not the reason she wants him.
confused

Los Angeles, CA

#15 Oct 4, 2008
The Magician 808 wrote:
You know what happened. He gave you THE DICK and made you holla. It is just that simple. Please take a look at your entire life in front of your before you make your choice. If he is willing to do this to his wife now. What about you later.
LOL!! no mam, that is not the case at all. It's not very big but that's not what keeps me with him, but thats the reason i wrote, so I could get peoples points of view from the outside looking in. Thanks for the comment though.
confused

Los Angeles, CA

#16 Oct 4, 2008
Subtle Signs wrote:
<quoted text>
Since you haven't been back lately to reply to anything, I will just go ahead and add my two cents.
If you think he may be seeing her without your knowledge then he probably is. And chances are, they ARE doing a little something while they are together. And if that is the case, then he IS cheating on you. Technically he's married to her, but he is cheating on her with you, and on you with her. Find a man who can be all yours.
Thank you for your point of view and your willingness not to trash talk me, but give me guidence instead. I knew what I was putting on here and how it would sound to other wives, but I assure you that I'am a very compassionate person and feelings all the same.

“Much Love to Everyone”

Since: Aug 08

Houston, TX

#17 Oct 4, 2008
Sweetheart, I say this with kindness and compassion in my heart. If he will do it with you, he will do it to you.

As much as I would love to give you a rosy picture of your future together, I just can't. I know it would hurt to turn around and never look back, but that is exactly what I am suggesting.

Good luck to you, Dear. I will be praying that God will send you someone much better that will treat you the way that you deserve.

I would also suggest you call his wife and have a heart to heart and apologize to her. Even though you were ill informed in the beginning, you still wronged this woman.
confused

Littleton, CO

#18 Oct 4, 2008
Kricketgirl wrote:
Sweetheart, I say this with kindness and compassion in my heart. If he will do it with you, he will do it to you.
As much as I would love to give you a rosy picture of your future together, I just can't. I know it would hurt to turn around and never look back, but that is exactly what I am suggesting.
Good luck to you, Dear. I will be praying that God will send you someone much better that will treat you the way that you deserve.
I would also suggest you call his wife and have a heart to heart and apologize to her. Even though you were ill informed in the beginning, you still wronged this woman.
Letting go is the hardest thing to do. I've apologized and have even cried with this woman before. I do hurt for her, God knows I do.Thank you for your kind words.

“Much Love to Everyone”

Since: Aug 08

Houston, TX

#19 Oct 4, 2008
Anytime, Sweetheart. You know what you need to do...or else you wouldn't be asking for advice on this forum. The road ahead of you is not an easy one and I do not envy the decision that has been laid before you.

But by simply apologizing to this woman already, I know beyond of a shadow of doubt that you are a kind and warm hearted individual. You deserve someone better. Never risk your future on someone that is not quite sure if you are the one person that they can't live their life without.

I am here if you ever need a kind person to talk to.

“Much Love to Everyone”

Since: Aug 08

Houston, TX

#20 Oct 4, 2008
Regardless of the decision that you make.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker
First Prev
of 2
Next Last

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Top Stories Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
The Christian Atheist debate (Jun '15) 1 min Lbj 39,088
Prove there's a god. (Mar '08) 16 min Insults Are Easier 970,206
News Roman Catholic church only true church, says Va... (Jul '07) 27 min kent 642,153
Rotten egg/sulfur burps followed by vomiting 27 min corncake123 1
Jehovah's Witnesses are true disciple of Jesus ... (Mar '07) 46 min LAWEST100 44,476
Why Should Jesus Love Me? (Feb '08) 1 hr LAWEST100 618,462
Poll Was 9/11 a conspiracy?? (Oct '07) 1 hr onemale 280,921
Poll Is homosexuality a sin? (Oct '07) 4 hr Annaleigh 104,793
More from around the web