Some of you conservatives that have plenty feel like its a sin to waste your money on those druggies and boozers.
Well you should get together and collect names of the most honest person of the year award, that person being the most hard working, and with no habits to waste their money on....
(Conduct tests that prove they have not had any bad habits for a long time)

Then donate enough to them to get them out of the dumps.

Nice dream, huh?
Sponsored by the Anytown Church Of Whatever