The Dark Side of Teen Goths

Full story: ABC News 2,110
A Study Shows This Social Group Is More at Risk for Self-Harm, Suicide Kids who said they were "goths" had a much higher history of self-harm and suicide, according to a new survey of U.K. youths. Full Story
Michelle Cardenas

North Hollywood, CA

#2213 Jul 1, 2008
Kai wrote:
<quoted text>
Is this any of your business? Really? Come on, you can't ask someone that.
Besides, since when has liking one kind of music been a problem? Since when has dressing in black been a problem?
You should think about what you are saying.
Sh*t if I was Ashly and if that person was in front of me and said that sh*t to me I would've beat the sh*t out of that bitch so badly. I cant deal with that sh*t talk in my life.
Michelle Cardenas

North Hollywood, CA

#2214 Jul 1, 2008
cheyenne smith wrote:
i have attempted suicide many times and i m all alone. does that make me a freak? we aren't cannibals, look past the studs, spikes, eyeliner, layers of white and black make-up and clothing and our different hair styles, and we r wut exactly? Normals, conformists, boring, and un-original. will everyone just stop the madness?!
I wish I could just give u a big hug and a kiss on the forehead right now,you seem like the type of friend who is very loyal and understanding as I am. Ps I hope to see you at a goth club in Southern California one day.
Saddened Eagle Tears

Columbus, OH

#2215 Jul 9, 2008
YEHA GOHTS RULE FOR EVR SERIOULSY YOU CANT STOP US BTICHES! 666
sictears

Park Ridge, NJ

#2216 Jul 11, 2008
not all goth teens think that...god
im goth...i dont wanna kill myself...
my friends...goth...none of them wanna kill themselves.
people need to stop stereotyping and makin it seem all goths wanna die

“sukitnerd”

Since: May 08

Knoxville, TN

#2217 Jul 11, 2008
I remember goth chicks from school. I never got into the whole culture of it but I did like the girls because they where more... fun loving than a lot of squares is school. Granted I couldn't take any of these gals home to Mama but hey, that's 98% of the girls I've been with anyway.
Smile-for-the-ca mera

UK

#2218 Jul 27, 2008
Hey, Iím pretty surprised this thread is still going on. Itís me noonyouwouldknow, I guess itís been a while since I last posted but here I am, bored and feeling like I should say something on this topic.

Iím not too sure what is being discussed at the moment but I just have to say that there are no dangers in the gothic subculture. Yes, there are things in all subcultures individuals might take part in that may be dangerous but any forms of illegal activities arenít promoted by the gothic community.

I find it hard to shun something through what I perceive at a mere glance but thatís me, Iím not a judgmental person and I do understand that Goth is something thatís almost impossible not to judge or make assumptions about. The black which isnít mandatory of course might frighten people but I think itís the way Goths have an open attitude to taboo subjects that scares people. Itís the willingness to understand the darker elements in life that make it seem so ďcreepyĒ and ďdangerousĒ to an average person.

Goths arenít freaks, theyíre not something to ridicule. They donít deserve to die for thinking in the way that they do, or dressing in the way which makes them happy. Iím 15, I may or may not continue dressing the way I do right now, but I do know that Goth has taught me some valuable things like tolerating ignorance because there are a lot of narrow minded people in the world.

So yeahÖitís been a while since Iíve written anything on here and hopefully I didnít just step into a discussion with this long post. I would usually read what others are saying and then try to understand the discussion before making a pos but itís hot and Iím only here for a bit so sorry lol.
Fuzziello Shadrool

United States

#2219 Jul 27, 2008
At the root of it all, Goths are no different than any other teen. They are trying to fit into a group, and looking for attention. That's it- plain and simple. Like so many teens, they think their parents are A-holes (in some cases they are correct) and so rebel against them. They put on clothes, and wear their hair in such a way that they know their parents will not approve of. This is nothing new. "Greasers" and "Beatniks" from the 1950s will attest to that.
-
The blatant sign that any teen is looking for attention is the clothes, hair, makeup, and all of the other outward signs of identification. If they were NOT looking for attention, they'd be wearing something common, for instance, tan shorts, flip flops and a light blue T-shirt,(thus blending in with most of society), but still living the Goth life. It's really not necessary to dress in a certain way to have beliefs and feelings about things. A person can be an Abstract Expressionist artist, and while in public, dress in a three-piece business suit. The way the person adorns him/herself does not change who the person is at heart.
-
The teen years are very difficult years. More appriately, they should be called "TWEEN" years. It's that short period of time when a person is in that odd place BETWEEN childhood and adulthood.
They can't be treated as fully fledged adults yet, but they are really not children anymore.
On top of that, they are trying to find who they are, are embarrassed by the people (parents) who they once thought were everything, and they want to fit in with their peers. All teens go through this confusing period of growth and change. The vast majority learn to adapt to the change and growth. Unfortunately, a few do not. This is also nothing new.
Fuzziello Shadrool

United States

#2220 Jul 27, 2008
The absolute very best thing a parent of a Goth teenager can do is to ignore the Goth thing. Be nonchalant about the clothes and hair and all the rest. Instead, focus on the child-adult that resides beneath all those black clothes. Along with that (and this is the most important of all) the parent should express great love for the teen.
The parent should demonstrate to the teen that the parent will always be there for them. Their friends may come and go, but the parent will remain during good times and bad. That's what's important.
-
The parent should also get to know the friends that their children are hanging out with. Invite the friends in once in awhile. Speak with them. Ask them a few questions. This might also be helpful to a few of the friends who might not be getting any attention at home and are surprised that someone is actually interested in them. Secrecy and parenting do not make a good mix.
-
Whenever a parent of a rebellious teen starts screaming about the clothes and hair and all of the other stuff that the teen is wearing, it only makes things worse. It usually just results in further rebellion from the teen.
-
My mother (God rest her sole) was the absolute best at dealing with the difficult teenyears. My friends and I could have walked in the door of the house when I was a teenager decked out in full blown Goth regalia, and my mother would not have blinked. It would have been like we walked in wearing gray slacks and white shirts. She expressed great love and tolerance no matter what I was wearing. In the end, that's all that matters anyway.
Gothic Girl in Black

Taylor, TX

#2221 Aug 1, 2008
Goths deserve better treatment. I've been stared at with disgust because of my dark clothing, casted out for uniquness, and ignored by the Normals. Being suicidal isn't necessarily in the Gothic ways. Suicidal-ness is in the Emo culture. Goths, such as myself, mostly just want to be different and rebell against other forces. People who think Goths are cruel, horrid, and/or mean, I got news for you: WE'RE NOT ALWAYS LIKE THAT!!!
you are you

South Richmond Hill, NY

#2222 Aug 5, 2008
i think people think goths are freaks because the media portrays them to be uncaring, scary, & evil. & people being the asses they are, follow that because well, hey, the person on tv is saying it! the person in the magazine is saying it!...they only believe what's "in". i do agree with "Goth Girl In Black"s post, however i would like to say that self harm isnt only IN the emo culture. It is, well, everywhere. Saying suicide is in the "emo" culture only, is like saying the rebel attitude is ONLY in the goth culture-which is untrue. What I think people should do is just shut the fuck up, & realize it's just fucking clothing & fucking normal ass emotions everyone feels at one time or another. BIG FUCKING WOOP. Everybody has emotional times, everyone dresses dark ONCE in a while, & about the music?..Um..SO. dont like it, dont listen. & about the "goths" being Satanists or Atheists- one, if that ever came out of your mouth, CONGRATS!:D, slap your mouth & stick your head on the grill!. it's just FUCKING religion. Everyone has a belief, & if we actually start fighting over beliefs, the united states, & other foreign countries-will turn to fully loaded SHIT.-which it almost is- & just to clear the way, there is no such thing as "normal" when it comes to describing a person or style. there is many meanings to it when discussing style, &/or the person, so it cancels OUT. Everybody is different in a way...Bashing someone who is different is like bashing yourself because you are different aswell. Not only that- how would you feel if the judging happened to you? not so great, aint it? we're human, we're all here for a purpose- to get somewhere in life. If you're trying to get through with your OWN life, why are you so concerned about how people dress, think, or do things? Have an open mind, think deep about things, & if you have nothing nice to say, keep your mouth shut & in your ass. nothing is normal,we are not alike, we are not YOU, we are not anyone BUT ourselves.
& one more thing i have to say...
If we are in america, how come so much judgement is available? I thought this was the land of the FUCKING FREE.
you are you

South Richmond Hill, NY

#2223 Aug 5, 2008
i think people think goths are freaks because the media portrays them to be uncaring, scary, & evil. & people being the asses they are, follow that because well, hey, the person on tv is saying it! the person in the magazine is saying it!...they only believe what's "in". i do agree with "Goth Girl In Black"s post, however i would like to say that self harm isnt only IN the emo culture. It is, well, everywhere. Saying suicide is in the "emo" culture only, is like saying the rebel attitude is ONLY in the goth culture-which is untrue. What I think people should do is just shut the fuck up, & realize it's just fucking clothing & fucking normal ass emotions everyone feels at one time or another. BIG FUCKING WOOP. Everybody has emotional times, everyone dresses dark ONCE in a while, & about the music?..Um..SO. dont like it, dont listen. & about the "goths" being Satanists or Atheists- one, if that ever came out of your mouth, CONGRATS!:D, slap your mouth & stick your head on the grill!. it's just FUCKING religion. Everyone has a belief, & if we actually start fighting over beliefs, the united states, & other foreign countries-will turn to fully loaded SHIT.-which it almost is- & just to clear the way, there is no such thing as "normal" when it comes to describing a person or style. there is many meanings to it when discussing style, &/or the person, so it cancels OUT. Everybody is different in a way...Bashing someone who is different is like bashing yourself because you are different aswell. Not only that- how would you feel if the judging happened to you? not so great, aint it? we're human, we're all here for a purpose- to get somewhere in life. If you're trying to get through with your OWN life, why are you so concerned about how people dress, think, or do things? Have an open mind, think deep about things, & if you have nothing nice to say, keep your mouth shut & in your ass. nothing is normal,we are not alike, we are not YOU, we are not anyone BUT ourselves.
& one more thing i have to say...
If we are in america, how come so much judgement is available? I thought this was the land of the FUCKING FREE.

“Gaurdian Winters”

Since: Oct 07

Cape Town, Durbanville

#2224 Aug 22, 2008
Look people,
Goths are the closest thing to Christian one can find if they were raised correctly though and introduced to proper Goth culture.
SImply put anyone who has studied the origon of Goth would know they where a Germanic tribe who where christianised in the times the romans where coming to an end,
Clamly put true goths and Christians arent too far apart in lifestyle,
Besides Goth is a lifestyle where one can see the light no matter how dark things seem,
it is afterall a lifestyle and not a religeon, i wish people would get that,

ON a personal note to my 2 good friends on the forum things are weird, let us just say i have changed a bit lately, i've started to leave the dark, i wish to live in the light again, for about 4 months already i slowly started removing hte bad things & people from my life and things are going good.

Goths Rule :)
MystiqueXMT

Denver, CO

#2225 Sep 9, 2008
I just had a customer at my retail store hand me a flier about the gothic liberation front. I am interested in finding out more about it. Where do I go?
alina

AOL

#2226 Sep 20, 2008
Goth-Punk Girl wrote:
The only reason we harm ourselves is because of the damn shit we get at school and from people. We hate cuz we are hated cuz of the way we dress or our additude just cuz we see life for what it is really. Maybe in our past we have had something that held us from hurting us something to live for but after we lost that we lost ourselves. SO STOP FUCKING LABELING US FOR SEE LIFE FOR WHAT IS REALLY FUCKING IS!LIFE IS HELL! DEATH IS BETTER THEN LIVING!
indeed life is a shit hole for the most part.
but life goes beyond school and the ppl that
tease and make fun of you.
grow a back bone, stand up for urself for once
and ppl quit messing with u.
after school these ppl become nothing more
than a vague memory.

life goes on for everyone.
stop basing ur life on the status u have
in school.
alina

AOL

#2227 Sep 20, 2008
and i agree with you are you.
ppl feel emotions.
ppl express it in their own ways.
clothing, makeup, and all that material
crap doesnt matter. ppl use that to become
more comfortable with themselves or to express
something they are feeling in some cases.

but in this society, no matter wat anyone is
going to or has said ppl will ALWAYS stereotype
and place labels and judge u at first glance.

no one will ever stop it.

and i do feel bad for the ppl who hurt themselves
and think about ending their life [hopefully not for attention cuz i knew ppl like that]. their
just in the darkest state of their life and cant see hope and light.

ive been through it and i have one thing to say
and i hope i can help at least one person by saying this:

life will ALWAYS have their downs
but wat keeps us going r the small things that
make u laugh, smile, love,[that a lot of ppl take
for granted because they dont pay much mind to it], and always remember that someone out
there is doing far worse than u are and are still
living.

light shines on everyone, u just have to be patient.

“My CONDOLENCES, God dang...”

Since: Jun 07

Texas

#2228 Sep 23, 2008
The Arcanidge wrote:
Look people,
Goths are the closest thing to Christian one can find if they were raised correctly though and introduced to proper Goth culture.
SImply put anyone who has studied the origon of Goth would know they where a Germanic tribe who where christianised in the times the romans where coming to an end,
Clamly put true goths and Christians arent too far apart in lifestyle,
Besides Goth is a lifestyle where one can see the light no matter how dark things seem,
it is afterall a lifestyle and not a religeon, i wish people would get that,
ON a personal note to my 2 good friends on the forum things are weird, let us just say i have changed a bit lately, i've started to leave the dark, i wish to live in the light again, for about 4 months already i slowly started removing hte bad things & people from my life and things are going good.
Goths Rule :)
Good for you Archie.

And yes- the 'goth' wannabe trend is about as annoying as the scene wannabe's.
cynthiane galloway

Montrťal, Canada

#2230 Oct 2, 2008
uh where are we exactle in this thread? its been some time since I was last here... im still on my quest of learning the true meaning of identity....
but really I just wanna say this:
don't just a book by its cover.
period.
marciee

Montrťal, Canada

#2231 Oct 2, 2008
hmm kiddo yur kidding me heh? goths are reckless
maryanne027june

Montrťal, Canada

#2232 Oct 2, 2008
cynthi, you are soo right, like ican't believe people don't get the message. And marciee just
DJABBIC! Goths are goths and they can be different...
cynthiane galloway

Montrťal, Canada

#2233 Oct 2, 2008
marciee could ya shut up? don't be biased not all goths always look in the dark.... and how do you know if they are all reckless

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